Convince your Girl to Shave down There

2015-01-30

There’s something really erotic about a girl who shaves down there. You notice a lot of strippers and porn stars do it. Sexologists dealing with couples who are having trouble in the bedroom suggest certain games, one of which is shaving one another. There is definitely something sensual and sexy about shaving a woman. If you’ve never done it, you must. If men find it so alluring, why don’t more “normal” women do it? Perhaps it has something to do with the perception of a shaved private area. Women who do so must be thought of as highly sexualized. The good girl stereotype then that many women try and live up to doesn’t allow for this practice. Still lots of guys are into the shaved look and feel. So how do you convince your girl to shave down there? There are a few methods. The first one, come right out and tell her. Don’t blurt it out. Wait for the proper time and the proper mood. Build into it. You want to talk about fantasies over wine before or after dinner, just the two of you. Play some music. Tell her you’re curious to hear more about her fantasies. Pick out one that you want to fulfill for her. Then she’ll ask you about yours. This is your chance to tell her about it. Tell her that you want to shave her sensuously, if you do. Give her some sensual language, about how good it will feel and how much it will turn you on.

If the straightforward but working her into it approach isn’t to your liking, but she’s relatively easygoing or likes some spontaneity, during a bout of foreplay produce some shaving cream and a razor, and make a theatrical event out of it. She’ll either be insulted or throw you out of the bedroom, or so turned on she can’t wait for you to be with her. Most of the time, it’s one or the other. Evaluate how she is when you’ve sprung other types of things on her, if you have, or if she has a wild streak. Do you guys watch porn together? If so, find movies that have shaving scenes in them. Ask her what she thought about it sometime afterwards. If she was into it, you are good to go. Another way to introduce the subject is to talk about some friends you know who introduced it into their foreplay. You could say your friend explained this really hot scene and it made you want to try it. This way she thinks that it was just a talk with a friend, and not that you’ve been harboring an opinion about her downstairs place. Get her to shave your area as foreplay. Lastly, make sure you keep yourself neat in your pubic area before you talk to her about shaving. You don’t want to be labelled hypocritical. The other thing is to make sure she knows how much you love her body. If you get her to think that you think it isn’t attractive, she won’t feel attractive. It will bring her overall sexual confidence down, ergo less sex. Let her know you think her privates are perfect bliss, you just want to try something new.

Dirty Talk Advanced

Men with lots of experience in the bedroom know that dirty talk can make or break the moment. What you say to her can drive her to the edge of ecstasy or to the edge of the bed to hightail it out of there. Most guys know the basics of what to say to a woman to turn her on. But women are complicated. There are a lot of nuances. If you’d like to sharpen your linguistic seduction skills then you’ve come to the right place. Here is dirty talk advanced level. Now when it’s at the beginning of a relationship, or it’s the first time after a tremendous fight or even after you’ve broken up and gotten back together, whatever the situation when you tell her “We can take it slow” mean it. If you pressure her later she’s likely to pull away. But if you do take it slow and show her that it’s her time, attention and affection you want she’ll warm to you. Lots of guys shower their lady with simple compliments that can frankly be applied to anyone. The trick is to make your compliments as specific as possible. Tell her you love the way the undertones of her skin make her radiate. But first you’ll have to know what that is. Don’t just talk about her eyes but that certain look she gives you, the way her eyes crease when she smiles, or something unique about their color. If you really want to turn a woman on make her feel special, unique and one-of-a-kind. Let her know how great she looks after the act. That will make an impression.

Use the word “you” and work it into whatever you are saying. Don’t tell her “That feels amazing” tell her “You feel amazing.” Instead of “I love how that feels.” Say “I love what you do to me.” Always put the focus on her. She will get more turned on, be more enthusiastic and that means more extra-special attention for you. According to psychotherapist Daylle Deanna Schwartz, “‘You’ is sexy because you’re referring to her as opposed to the act of sex. It’s very personal, and women love that.” Ms. Schwartz is author of the book How to Please a Woman in and out of Bed. When she’s going down on you or trying to please you in some way, don’t go stoic on her. Reinforce her. Women need to be supported emotionally. They want to know what they are doing pleases you. Moan a little, even if you aren’t a moaner to direct her and keep her at what you like. Say how good she makes you feel what she does that thing that you like. Incorporate dirty talk and directions together. Now instead of asking her should you disrobe her, tell her in a cute and charming way, “I’m going to take off all of your clothes, starting with this.” Women like it when men take initiative in bed. If she protests or you offend her at some point, and what guy won’t, give her a quick apology or make a joke (even better) and move lightly on.

The Secret to the Most Fulfilling sex you’ve ever had

Lots of guys have that wild time or two in the back of their mind, the super-secret vault of spank action. Usually you stumble upon a scenario and all of a sudden you are caught up in it, an accidental threesome with two female friends, the tryst with the older woman, the time you made a sex tape with an ex, or when you and a high school girlfriend snuck out and went skinny dipping, getting it on in the water and hoping you didn’t get caught. Those are great memories that will last a lifetime. But lots of guys also have unfulfilled fantasies that they don’t want to bring up with their wife or girlfriend, or don’t know how to broach the subject. The real secret to the most fulfilling sex you’ve ever had is to share those fantasies with her no matter how perverted or strange you think she’ll find them. Truth is she’s probably got some dirty or weird fantasies of her own she’s scared to share with you. You have to have developed a relationship to a certain point for this to work. You have to be comfortable and close with one another. There has to be a deep bond of trust. It’s actually the sign of a healthy relationship if both of you can open up and share your fantasies. It’s even better when you have an understanding, loving, attentive lover who wants to please you, and be pleased by you.

Do not approach her with some list, pressure her or overwhelm her all at once. If you haven’t done anything kinky, springing it on her that you want her to be your mistress, wear spiked leather gloves and spank you with a paddle may be jumping too far ahead. Instead, start out small. Work into things. Start with the mild things and work slowly up the list. Say you want to make love out-of-doors. Discuss it with her as you would discuss any of your fantasies. Talk about hers first. If you make fantasy talk about her and your desire to fulfill her needs and wishes, she’ll be willing and enthusiastic about fulfilling yours. So if you want to make love to her outdoors, once she asks you about this bring it up. At first, she may reject the idea. Don’t pressure her. Tell her other subtler ones. Then here and there start whispering sexy and naughty things in her ear when you’re out and about. Tell her not to wear underwear one night and whisper how you know and how it turns you on. Later on, start touching her under the table, leg perhaps and work your way around to other areas. Make sure you’ve selected a secluded spot for when she’s ready to move things to the next level. This same process can be done for almost any fantasy. Talk to her about fantasies, first about hers, then yours. Fulfill one of hers to the best of your ability. And then work her into yours. Make her feel comfortable, make her feel sexy, make her yours and she’ll make you hers.

Don’t Use these Techniques to Lengthen Bedroom Performance

2015-01-22

It’s no secret, a lot of guys want to last longer in bed. One of the most common problems is a man finishing before his partner is satisfied. There are lots of tried and true techniques to help, some physical others mental. There may also be an underlying health condition, especially if no matter what you have tried nothing works. At this point, it pays to seek out a physician. There are some methods out there that guys try thinking they will work, but end up making the problem worse. Don’t use these techniques to lengthen your bedroom performance. Otherwise, things can go south fast. The first is drinking too much.Lots of guys like to ease the tension by having a few drinks. This can alleviate anxiety and make you feel more confident. But consuming too much alcohol decreases blood flow, which is vital for forming an erection. Instead, use some mental tricks and deep breathing exercises to relieve anxiety and boost confidence. The most successful athletes picture themselves being successful, and visualize all the steps in their performance before taking part. Do the same and your bedroom performance is sure to improve.

Some say it’s a good idea to think about something else during sex. Baseball was the topic they would say to concentrate on in the olden days to divert one’s attention. But conjuring up chores, sports, work and even bad experiences may have the opposite effect. You may fail to perform at all. What’s more, this technique marries unpleasant or uninteresting thoughts with sex, which could lead to further problems. Instead, change up your repertoire. Perhaps orally or digitally stimulate your partner. Include toys. Slow things down. Spend more time on foreplay. Really get your partner excited before penetration occurs. Your partner is liable to enjoy sex more, you will feel more confident and your performance will improve. Stop and switch positions when you feel it coming on too soon. Some men pull out and press firmly just underneath the head of the penis in order to stave off orgasm. Then there are numbing creams and gels and special condoms. Experiment and find a technique that works for you.

Do you suffer from Balanitis?

2015-01-20

If you are uncircumcised, and are experiencing swelling of the head of the penis along with the foreskin, you may be suffering from balanitis. It is also known as balanoposthitis. This usually occurs when the area underneath the foreskin is not washed regularly. Bacteria and sweat can build up causing irritation. Another cause is an allergy to certain soaps or personal care products. These can cause the head of the penis–the glands to swell.  A yeast infection can also cause this disorder to occur. Arthritis may be at the root of the problem. It can also happen as a result of a sexually transmitted infection (STI). People with certain conditions such as diabetes mellitus are more likely to develop balanitis. Symptoms include itching, redness, pain and irritation of the penis. Some experience a malodorous discharge as well. If you believe you may have balanitis or are experiencing any of these symptoms, see a healthcare professional right away.

Balanitis is diagnosed through taking the person’s medical history, and performing a physical exam. No further tests are generally required. If an underlying health problem is at fault, the doctor may request blood work to be done. When hygiene is at issue, there may be need for some retraining on how to pull back and clean the foreskin and the area beneath. Changing the soap you use to a milder version can also help, especially if it is caused by an allergy. Generally speaking, to clear up the issue a topical cream is prescribed. For STIs as the root cause, an antibiotic may also be administered. If the problem chronically returns, the physician might suggest circumcision as a way to prevent future infection of the foreskin. For most causes however, balanitis can be prevented. Usually this condition is nothing to worry about so long as you seek out medical attention. Be sure to seek out a physician if you believe you may have balanitis.

How to pleasure breasts during sex – a guide for EVERY heterosexual man!

2015-01-16

Most men are fascinated by breasts and cannot help staring (sometimes very blatantly) or fondling them during intercourse. For men, breasts are a fun thing to play with – they often snuggle their faces in a woman’s cleavage or press them too hard or even slap them at times. There are even several terms for a woman’s breasts – boobs, knockers, jugs, balloons, etc. But most women would agree that they do not like the way their breasts are handled by their lovers. If you are a guy, let us tell you, women do not like their breasts being abused!  To make things easier and more pleasurable, here’s a guide every heterosexual man should read on how to caress breasts the right way.

Breast basics

Breasts are one of the most sensitive parts of a woman’s body and even a light touch can have varied reactions. Just your fingers are enough to pleasure them if you know the right way to use them.

The nipples are the most responsive to touch and you can do a lot by stroking them, gently fondling them or even licking them. Every woman has different levels of sensitivity and you need to gauge it to apply pressure accordingly.

You don’t always need to press them too hard as they contain milk glands and sensitive tissues which need to be dealt with care. Rough handling can cause pain more than pleasure and also alter their appearance.

Techniques to pleasure breasts

We know guys cannot keep their hands off breasts but it is important to keep in mind that they are not inanimate toys. So use these techniques to make your woman go wild with pleasure.

Firstly, don’t just grab them the moment you start foreplay, let your fingers gently touch the skin around the nipples and the surrounding areas. Once the nipples harden, you can stroke them to pleasure her more.

Don’t forget to look at your woman’s face to gauge her reaction. This will not just help you understand how much she likes it or if she’s not into it and also it will not let her feel that you love her breasts more than her (even if it may be the truth).

You can cup her breasts from behind while kissing her on her neck. This is ideal for women with big breasts as your hand may not be able to cover the entire area. After you cup them, gently run your fingers or even hand around the entire breast to arouse her more. You can gently press on the nipple using your index finger and massage in circular motion to harden them.

If your woman has small to medium sized breasts (or if you have big hands), you can squeeze them while facing them. Do not press too hard at first. Gently massage the breasts in circular fashion with your hands and then squeeze them harder. Watch her reaction to know if you should intensify the pressure or continue with the same.

Make her shriek with joy by teasing her nipples. You can wet your finger with your saliva (or even use an ice cube) and gently graze it on her nipples. Next, gently blow on them for a cool effect. Another technique is to directly lick them with your tongue and then blow air on them with your mouth. Alternate between these two and see her go wild.

Once she starts enjoying this, you can suck on the nipples too. While you are sucking on one nipple, place your hand on the other breast and keep massaging it. Then move on to the other one. When you suck on nipples, blood rushes to the area which makes them even more sensitive. This will make the act more pleasurable for her as well.

So the next time you have sex with your partner, make sure you apply this techniques and make her have a breastgasm!

With inputs from the book ‘How To Have A XXX Sex Life’. 

Image source: Getty Images

Dry, tight and warm – the dangerous practice of dry sex

While most women and men welcome a well lubricated vagina during sex, some women are purposely drying them out – to please their men. We take a look at the why, where and how of dry sex.

When a woman’s body gets ready for sex, the vaginal glands secrete a fluid that acts as a lubricant. This is a necessary process that protects her delicate private parts, and also readies her vagina for penetration, making it easier for her partner to insert his penis.

Lack of sufficient lubrication is a problem for many women, especially those who experience arousal problems, women on certain medications or those going through the menopause as it can make intercourse quite painful (for both man and woman) and cause tearing, inflammation and irritation while destroying the natural bacteria.

Curiously, some women (primarily from more traditional societies) are going against their bodies’ natural instincts and are resorting to extreme measures to prevent lubrication and keep their vaginas bone dry and, thereby, ‘tighter’ and ‘warmer’.

According to the US-based Guttmacher Institute that researches sexual and reproductive health across the globe “vaginal drying” appears to be most common among African (South Africa, Senegal, DRC, Cameroon, Malawi, Zambia, Kenya and Zimbabwe) and Indonesian women, although it also occurs in Haiti, Costa Rica and Saudi Arabia.

Despite the pain that accompanies dry sex, men and women from these communities believe that a dry vagina adds friction and tightness during intercourse, making it more enjoyable – for men.

In a report for the Guttmacher Institute, author Karen E. Kun writes that ”In South Africa, men have reported that vaginal wetness during sexual intercourse is an indicator of a woman’s infidelity, and have also associated vaginal lubrication with sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and the use of contraceptives.’

Dr Marlene Wasserman, better known in South Africa as sexologist Dr Eve, told Vice the continued practice of dry sex shows the lack of education relating to equality and women’s rights. She also mentions that in some traditional households a woman’s reputation depends on the size of her vagina, which they then hope to tighten by drying the vagina out.

According to Wasserman these men and women don’t understand that the vagina is capable of expanding during sex – and then back to its usual size afterwards. They also believe that if a woman has a partner with a large penis, her vagina will remain permanently ‘stretched’, and future partners will think she is promiscuous.

From a male perspective, the experience is not necessarily more appealing. Men’s Health, in a report on painful sexual habits, noted that a dry vagina can make penetration not only more difficult but also more painful, causing a burning sensation and redness. It is possible for the delicate tissues of the penis to tear, further increasing the likelihood of transmitting an STI.

Methods used to dry out the vagina

Some women in Indonesia avoid foods such as pineapple and cucumber, which are believed to induce vaginal lubrication, while others go as far as to insert dry rags into their vagina, wash with herbs or insert chalk, leaves, stones or sand to achieve their desired dryness. Some of the agents cause the vaginal walls to swell, which contributes to the feeling of tightness.

Some women also douche with detergents, antiseptics, alcohol or bleach. Tissues, toilet paper or powders may also be stuffed into the vagina to dry it out.

More recently Daily Sun and City Press have both reported that women in Mpumalanga and Botshabelo in the Free State have been buying a confectionary called Çhina Fruit from Chinese vendors. The ingredients in these sweets include prune powder, citric acid, salt, sugar and flavouring. Desperate women spend inordinate amounts of money on the sweets, believing that they help to tighten the vagina, though experts say it may be purely all in the mind.

Lovematters reported that women in Java, Indonesia, crouch over burning herbs to ‘smoke out’ their vaginas while Dutch scientist Tinde van Andel explains that Maroon women in Suriname frequently use genital steam baths that contain tightening and drying herbs.

Why dry sex is dangerous

The risks, however, are very serious. Using any substance that interferes with the pH levels of the vagina can result in a much higher chance of contracting vaginal infections, while “dry sex” also has serious health consequences. Research by Van Andel  has shown that dry sex damages the epithelium of the vagina and can lead to lacerations, inflammations, and the suppression of the vagina’s natural bacteria, all of which increase the likelihood of infection with sexually transmitted infections, including HIV.

Because lubrication is needed when a condom is used during sex, the absence thereof often contributes to the condom tearing.

Safer ways to achieve tighter penetration

Health24’s sexologist, Dr. Marelize Swart, advises couples to rather explore different positions to aid with tightness and friction during intercourse. And don’t forget the Kegel exercises! Continue reading Dry, tight and warm – the dangerous practice of dry sex →

What You Should Know about Men’s Sexual Health

2015-01-12

Written By: Christina Johnson

Anyone who watches professional sports on TV is bombarded with commercials dealing with erectile dysfunction (ED).

But despite what the ads may lead one to believe, men’s sexual health issues are more complicated than simply taking a pill and “letting the dance begin.” Men do have a biological clock. They do experience age-related hormonal changes, and there are good medical reasons not to ignore ED, even when it responds to medication.

Here are some facts about men’s sexual health that may surprise avid sports fans, Cosmoand GQ readers alike, all vetted by Mike Hsieh MD, program director of UC San Diego’sMale Fertility and Sexual Health Program, the region’s only medical center with a specific focus on male fertility issues.

ED is an early sign of cardiovascular disease

ED is an early marker for vascular problems. This is one reason why your primary care physician may – and should – ask you about your sex life. It’s a way to detect potential heart issues.

“Many men come to my office to talk about ED and they leave with a referral to one of our cardiologists,” Hsieh said.

Why is ED a risk factor for heart attack? Simple geometry: The penile artery is one-tenth the diameter of coronary arteries. The narrower tube is likely to clog before larger arteries in the heart.

Obesity, diabetes, sedentary lifestyle, smoking and hypertension put men at higher risk of ED and also heart disease. “They really are the same problem, just different parts of the body,” Hsieh said.

One study, published in the Journal of Urology, found that approximately 75 percent of men with chronic coronary artery disease had ED.

Men and women are equally likely to have fertility issues

Not too long ago, men were believed to be fertile forever (practically), but that’s not true.

“A 50-year-old man is not as fertile as a 30-year-old. That’s the take home message,” said Hsieh, who is also an assistant professor in the Department of Urology.

Advanced paternal age is associated with lower sperm counts and lower sperm quality, and increases a couple’s chances of having a child with genetic problems, he said.

Besides issues related to aging, men may have anatomical blockages, hormonal imbalances or genetic problems that can lower sperm counts, impair sperm motility or cause dysfunctional sperm shape.

Testosterone supplements are birth control for men

Locker room jokes about the anatomical disparities of body builders can have a real scientific basis.

“Testosterone therapy tells a man’s body it can shut down,” Hsieh said. “It gets lazy.”

The brain monitors testosterone levels and when it detects adequate amounts of the hormone, it directs the testicles to go on vacation. This halts sperm production.

“Giving a man testosterone is like giving him birth control,” Hsieh said. If a man is in his 50s or 60s, the fertility issues surrounding testosterone therapy are likely irrelevant, but for younger men who want a family, doctors should identify why there is a hormonal imbalance. Certain medications, including antibiotics and cancer drugs, can reduce testosterone production. In rare cases, low testosterone can also be the result of a brain tumor.

Food for thought: Male athletes who have taken performance enhancing drugs do not necessarily regain their full fertility after they stop taking the drugs. There can be permanent damage to a man’s sperm production.

Vasectomies are reversible

A vasectomy is surgical sterilization, but it is not permanent. A man still makes sperm after a vasectomy and if it has been less than ten years since the procedure there’s a 95 percent chance that the spaghetti-sized tubing (vas deferens) that was cut or clamped can be reconnected.

A vasectomy reversal is done under a microscope with sutures as fine as eye lashes. “It’s like sewing pasta together,” said Hsieh, who is an expert on the procedure.

“Manopause” is real

Men don’t get hot flashes, but they do experience age-related declines in sex hormones that mirror female menopause. Andropause usually begins as men approach middle age in the 40s and beyond.

“Every man goes through andropause,” Hsieh said. “But symptoms vary. Some men experience irritability, fatigue, weight gain, low sex drive and erectile dysfunction. Some don’t.”

Both male and female sex hormone levels diminish with age in men, and lowered estrogen levels can contribute to health problems, such as osteoporosis. The symptoms most men notice and complain about are usually associated with lower testosterone levels.

Testosterone therapy, however, poses its own set of health risks, including acne, balding, blood thickening and urinary dysfunction caused by an enlarged prostate. New studies show testosterone may also elevate a man’s risk of heart attack and stroke.

“We are starting to recognize the risks of hormone replacement in men,” said Hsieh.

Bottom line: Aging happens. Men who go on testosterone therapy should make sure they are closely monitored for potentially serious side effects.

Almost all forms of cancer treatment can have sexual side effects

Chemotherapy impairs sperm production because the treatment, by design, target cells with robust replication rates, such as hair follicles and sperm cells. Meanwhile, surgery or radiation, especially in the pelvic region, can damage nerves or alter blood supply to reproductive organs. The stress of cancer itself can also cause hormonal imbalances, which may hinder sexual function and fertility.

“We recommend fertility preservation for all men and women who have been diagnosed with cancer and want to have children,” Hsieh said. For men, fertility preservation involves freezing sperm or testicular tissue.