Monthly Archives: December 2015

Ten Things You Need to Know Before You Presume That Old People Don’t Have Sex

December 17, 2015Sexual HealthSRH Matters

Ten Things You Need to Know Before You Presume That Old People Don’t Have Sex

2015-12-17

Suzi GodsonThe Times sex columnist and editor of www.suzigodson.com

1. In the past, most surveys of sexual behavior had an upper age limit of sixty because it was presumed that older people were no longer sexually active. In 2015, this oversight was properly addressed with the publication of Dr. David Lee’s paper Sexual Health And Wellbeing Among Older Men And Women In England.

2. Lee’s research, which was carried out with the University of Manchester, Age UK and NatCen Social Research, was the first ever nationally-representative study of UK sexual health to include people over the age of 80. Contrary to popular assumptions, the study found that getting older was a less useful predictor of decreasing sexual activity, than overall health, or relationship conflict.

3. Impressively, the study revealed that more than half (54%) of men and almost a third (31%) of women over the age of 70 reported that they were still sexually active and one third of them reported having sex at least twice a month.

4. Septuagenarians and octogenarians also reported being affectionate towards each other; 31% of men and 20% of women reported frequent kissing or petting.

5. These are not isolated findings. They correspond with data from the 2013 NATSAL study which found that 57% of men and 37% of women aged 65 – 74 had had penetrative sex in the last year and that one in three people in bad, or very bad health, had recently had sex.

6. Older research backs up these findings too. In 1981, Sarr & Weiner carried out a study of 800 adults aged from 60 to 91 years of age and they found that 68% of men and 36% of women were still having sexual intercourse. In 1984, Brecher interviewed more than 4000 men and women aged over fifty and found that more than 50% of men and women aged 70 + were still sexually active and about 60% of men and 40% of women said that they still had sexual intercourse.

7. When Weizman and Hart (1987) compared the sexual behaviours of two groups of men aged 60-65 years and 66-71 years, they found that the rate of masturbation increased with age. In their study, just 27% of men aged 60-65 masturbated, compared to 51% of men aged 66-71.

8. John DeLamater and Sara Moorman’s University of Wisconsin study of ‘Sexual Behavior In Later Life’ (2007), found that sexual desire is related to frequency of masturbation and both men and women without partners masturbated more frequently than people who had partners. Also, women with partners who were sexually limited as a result of illness or dysfunction masturbated more frequently than women with healthy partners.

9. Clearly, age alone is no barrier to sexual activity, but there is a ‘use it or lose it’ aspect to sex in later life, and for older people, masturbation is probably the easiest and most effective way of sustaining both sexual desire and sexual function.

10. So, this Christmas, lets face it, GRANDAD DOES NOT WANT A TELESCOPE! He wants a Doc Johnson Optimale UR3 Vibrating Stroker with Massage Beads. And Grandma? She wants a bottle of Lelo water based moisturizer and an INA Wave™ vibrator.

Follow Suzi Godson on Twitter: www.twitter.com/suzigodson

This Is The Ejaculation Problem That Men Want To Avoid Mentioning

December 17, 2015Sexual HealthSRH Matters

This Is The Ejaculation Problem That Men Want To Avoid Mentioning

While premature ejaculation is a commonly known problem amongs men, it is delayed ejaculation problem that is bothering an increasing number of male members in the population.

Delayed ejaculation is a condition when men find it tough to reach an orgasm while having sex even when they are enjoying the act. As of now, an approximate eight percent of men in America are suffering from this condition.

Also, premature ejaculation causes men to let it out in less than three minutes, delayed ejaculation has no predefined time frame.

Even though there are no clear set of symptoms of this condition, Tobias Köhler, M.D., M.P.H., an associate professor of urology at the Southern Illinois University School of Medicine, points out that those who can’t have an orgasm even after twenty minutes of trying are victims.

Journal of Sexual Medicine points out that an average guy does not need more than five minutes to do the job. Twenty minutes is too far from the ideal situation.

Elaborating on the condition, the report explains ejaculation to be a complicated process that involves the brain, nerve cells and of course the pelvic muscles.

Ultimately, during the act, the brain sends out the final message that asks the pelvic muscles to release the semen for pleasure.

However, in victims of delayed ejaculation, the message from the brain is lost in transit due to poor communication between the nerves. This could be due to various disease like diabetes, sclerosis and others.

Guys with low testosterone and thyroid hormone levels are also likely to fall prey to this condition. Delayed ejaculation is draining, physically as well as mentally.

Approaching a urologist is the right way to initiate treatment for this condition. Even a sex health expert can help overcome this problem. But, patients have to be prepared to answer some personal questions and be truthful about their problems when they come to seek treatment.

Latest Studies Show Testosterone Therapy Safe, Beneficial

December 17, 2015blog-home, featuredSRH Matters

Latest Studies Show Testosterone Therapy Safe, Beneficial

It is normal for testosterone to decline as a man ages, about 1% per year once a man has reached middle age. Most men never notice the drop. But some middle-aged and older men feel symptoms when their level has reached a certain point. Symptoms include a decline in sex drive, a lack of energy, moodiness, erectile dysfunction, an inability to lose weight, and in extreme cases loss of muscle and bone mass. Some clinicians call this age-related hypogonadism. Others deny that the condition even exists. Practitioners in the first camp had been prescribing testosterone replacement therapy (TRT).Lots of their patients said it has rejuvenated them, restoring their energy, giving them a more positive attitude, and returning their sex drive to them.

Two previous studies have shown an increase in cardiovascular events associated with TRT. The fear was that an increase in testosterone would ramp up red blood cell production, leading to atherosclerosis or blood clots, the fear being one may get lodged in an artery. It could cause a heart attack or stroke if this occurs in a blood vessel leading to the heart or the brain. But now ever more comprehensive studies are showing just the opposite that TRT is safe and in many cases beneficial.

Researchers at Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston just finished up a three year study on TRT, led by Shalender Bhasin, MD. Bhasin’s team found no increased risk of blood clots among older men with low to borderline low testosterone. A large, observational study soon to be published in the European Heart Journal actually showed a decreased risk of heart attack and stroke in conjunction with TRT. In March of this year, the FDA placed warning labels on TRT products about the risks. Now the agency is urging pharmaceutical companies to chip in on a comprehensive study to determine what if any risks exist. For those men experiencing the symptoms associated with low testosterone, it is advised that you speak to a doctor or an urologist, perhaps even an endocrinologist. There may be several conditions which have these exact same symptoms. So it is important to have a licensed doctor determine the cause.

25 Ways to Fix a Sexless Marriage

December 3, 2015Sexual HealthSRH Matters

25 Ways to Fix a Sexless Marriage

2015-12-03

This is actually great advice for anyone who’s in a relationship (Photo by Aaron Richter)

Even happily married guys wonder what sorts of itches they’d be scratching if they were to ditch their partner. Their “newly single” fantasy might include long, naked weekends with a Hooters waitress, but the reality is not nearly as provocative.

As a divorced man, you are 39 percent more likely to commit suicide. Even if you don’t kill yourself, you will die younger. And forget chasing tail; your mobility also suffers from singlehood.

Oh, and yes, divorce crushes your finances: A study of divorced baby boomers found that a split slashed their wealth to less than a quarter of what they would’ve had if they’d never wed at all.

So we’ve collected 25 tips that can protect you from the sickly, cash-poor, single life. Save your marriage before it’s too late!

(To see how much work your relationship really needs, check out How Strong Is Your Marriage?)

1. Assume the Best Explanation for What She Did, Not the Worst
Think of an annoying thing she does that you regularly misinterpret. Psychologists call this a “maladaptive attribution.” Then stop it. You can improve your marriage simply by thinking about it differently; choose the kindest possible interpretation for her actions instead of the ugliest.

2. Take the Zero-Negativity Challenge
How many days this month can you go without doing or saying a single negative, hurtful thing to your partner? Give it a try, suggest Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., and Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph.D., who’ve written 10 books on relationships.

You can strike sarcasm off the list too. In the words of Terry Real, the author of The New Rules of Marriage: “Sarcasm eats intimacy.” Your words matter. Measure them.

3. A Foot Massage Works Wonders; A Head Massage Works Miracles

4. Don’t Make a Complaint. Make a Request Instead (Politely!)

5. Write Her a Letter—On Paper
A University of Denver study of soldiers found that exchanging letters with their wives had a more positive and long-lasting effect than texting did.

6. Watch This Sex Video
“Makeup sex” doesn’t solve a fight, and latent anger can be a lust killer. Sit down together and watch family therapist Michele Weiner-Davis’s TEDx talk “The Sex-Starved Marriage” on YouTube.

Even if you’re not exactly starving, this video can help stoke hunger now and forever.

7. Don’t Try to Fix Her Problems—Just Listen to Them
“Men are conditioned to solve problems and to protect the women they love,” says couples therapist Shiri Cohen, Ph.D., an instructor at Harvard Medical School.

“This can backfire when all she really wants is to be heard,” she says. “The next time your mate needs to vent or complain, just give her your open ears.”

If you think you do have a good solution, wait and bring it up later during a separate conversation.

8. Sweat with Her, Then Hop in the Shower Together Later. It’s Healthy!
For 20 years, Thomas Bradbury, Ph.D., and Benjamin Karney, Ph.D., of UCLA’s Marriage Lab, followed more than 1,000 couples to evaluate the different ways partners support each other in their efforts to make important changes in their lives. Bradbury says he was amazed that the most common topic—coming up in about seven out of 10 couples—was that they wanted to change to a healthier lifestyle.

Their book, Love Me Slender, shows couples how to work together to maintain healthy weights. A new large-scale British study seconds that: “Men and women are more likely to make a positive health behavior change if their partner does too,” the authors note. Get started today withThe Best Workouts to Do with a Partner.

9. Look Past Her Flaws (Don’t Try to Eliminate Them)
“Look above the things you find annoying or unpleasant,” says Douglas LaBier, Ph.D., a psychologist based in D.C. “Respond to the best qualities in her—which will always make her best side stronger.”

10. Tell the Kids to Shut Up While You Two “Connect”
“A measly 15 minutes,” says William Doherty, Ph.D., a professor of family social science at the University of Minnesota. These kinds of “connection rituals” hotwire your whole life together. So do it.

Introducing an STD You’ve Never Heard Of

December 3, 2015Sexual HealthSRH Matters

Introducing an STD You’ve Never Heard Of

Use condoms if you’d prefer to avoid it. (Image via AP Photo/Bebeto Matthews, File)

Take heed, folks: There appears to be a newish STD in town. It’s “newish” because doctors have known about mycoplasma genitalium, or MG, since 1981, but researchers have now found the strongest evidence to date that it can be transmitted through sexual contact.

They analyzed urine samples from 4,507 Brits aged 16 to 44 and found that 1% of those who had at least one sexual partner had MG, reports theIndependent. The figure rose to 5.2% of men and 3.1% of women who had more than four sexual partners in the previous year, per Mic. Tellingly, no sign of the infection was found in the 200 or so participants who had never had sex.

“There were strong associations with risky sexual behaviors, with behavioral risk factors similar to those in other known STIs, and no infections were detected in those reporting no previous sexual experience,” the authors say.

While sufferers may report genital discharge, pelvic pain, pain while urinating, and bleeding after sex in the case of women, “over 90% of men and more than half of women with MG had no symptoms,” a researcher tells the Guardian. The lead author notes the infection could also lead to inflammations of the urethra or cervix (urethritis or cervicitis), pelvic inflammatory disease, and female infertility, but further research is needed to understand the long-term effects.

A sex researcher adds there’s no need to freak out. MG “is prevented in the same ways that gonorrhea and chlamydia are: by using condoms properly and consistently,” she says. Doctors, she adds, should keep the results in mind when patients have ailments such as urethritis or cervicitis but test negative for gonorrhea or chlamydia. (This condomchanges color near STDs.)

By Arden Dier

“Small Penis Syndrome” All Inside Your Head

December 3, 2015blog-home, Psycological HealthSRH Matters

“Small Penis Syndrome” All Inside Your Head

With the pervasiveness of internet porn, a lot of men today have the mistaken impression that a seven inch penis is the norm. In fact, it is a behemoth. Male porn actors are carefully selected for their size. In fact, the entire process of making a pornographic film is unnatural, from start to finish. This is not a very good source for learning about human sexuality, or the male anatomy.

Small penis syndrome for the vast majority of men is psychological, not physical. One British study found that of 63% of men interviewed about their penis size claimed to be inadequate. But when physically examined, researchers determined that each was within the average range. Average is considered between 5.5 and 6.2 inches in length and 4.7 to 5.1 inches in girth. Meanwhile, a survey of women on the subject found the vast majority, 85%, were satisfied with their partner’s size.

What about women, do they prefer a larger size? Men’s Health sexpert Debby Herbenick, Ph.D. said that when it comes to the physical act of love, a larger penis may be prohibitive to a woman’s orgasm, rather than helping it to occur. A man who is too large may even need to accept shallower penetration. Otherwise, he may hit her cervix which can cause pain and bring the entire episode to a screeching halt. Women generally orgasm due to clitoral stimulation—usually through oral or digital contact, or through the use of a sex toy such as a vibrator.

The aforementioned British study found that instead of length, women prefer wider penises. This is because it better stimulates the area of the lower vagina during intercourse. Those with a thin penis can overcome it using certain positions to increase stimulation. One way is by using a circular motion when thrusting, or by taking part in certain positions during intercourse. When she is on top, place a pillow under your bottom. Try taking her from behind. When in missionary, hold up one of her legs for deeper penetration. For those men who still believe they do not measure up, steer clear of supplements or devices found online. These have been found to be dangerous. Instead, be sure to seek out a medical professional, such as a doctor or urologist, for a reliable evaluation.