Telling Your Partner You Have An STD

Telling Your Partner You Have An STD




No matter what your age, when you’re dating it can be excruciatingly painful to tell your new date or partner that you have an STD (WebMD). But it’s also necessary to broach the issue for a whole host of reasons. You want to start the relationship out on the right foot. It isn’t right to expose someone to it without their knowledge. And if they are going to be with you, they have to be able to accept everything about you, from your best qualities to your not so stellar ones. You may not be able to change the fact that you have an STD but you can control how people learn about it, what you tell them, how you perceive it and how you expect them to. In fact, it may be the factor that weeds out those you want to be with from those who can’t handle it, and so can’t handle you. You may think you can avoid the issue, an uncomfortable conversation and possible rejection if you just practice safe sex each and every time. This is completely unfair to your partner. It is a terrible breach of trust. They will find out sooner or later and your chances of being rejected will be one hundred percent. Besides, no matter how safe you are, there is always a risk of transmitting the STD to your partner. A disease like herpes for instance can shed even when there is no rash, causing your partner to get it when you didn’t have a breakout. So it pays to address it in the right way from the beginning.

The most important thing is timing. When you sense that your new partner is interested in becoming physical with you, find the right time to have a talk with them before it takes place. Gather all the information you can about your disease. Pick a time and place where you are both relaxed and free from distractions. Make sure your partner isn’t distracted by a smart phone, tablet or some other device. It should be a private place where you won’t be interrupted. Plan it out carefully. Don’t make it when you are about to have a romantic interlude. Stopping things suddenly in order to reveal this information won’t only ruin the romantic mood, it may ruin your partner’s mood in the general sense and the entire evening. It has to be when your partner is ready to receive the information. You should make it clear that you want to talk about something serious and take time away from everything else to discuss it. Practice beforehand and have a script that you want to deliver. Be honest and direct. Answer all of your partner’s questions to the best of your ability.

Make it known that you care for your partner’s wellbeing, that you’re starting to develop feelings, and that you feel things need to be made known before the relationship is taken to the physical realm. Answer any questions your partner has, even if other partners weren’t so understanding, it behooves you to give your partner the benefit of the doubt. Realize that your partner may need some time to think and that’s okay. Congratulate yourself. It may have been hard but you did the right thing.

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