Don’t let Stress Kill your Sex Life
Sex has many health benefits, but one that experts always mention is it is a great stress reliever. But stress can also obstruct a healthy sex life. A stressful day at the office can carry over into the bedroom, for instance. We get so caught up in what we are stressed about, that we can’t focus on the matter at hand, and an erection therefore will not come. This can distress your partner, who wants to know what’s wrong. But a failure to perform makes future sex less likely, as the memory of this failed performance can weigh on the mind, making an erection in the future even less likely. At this point, a vicious cycle can occur. This type of situation may lead to performance anxiety, which in turn can cause erectile dysfunction. Lots of men for this reason avoid sexual intimacy. Not only does that hurt your own psyche but that of your partner’s as well. They may think you no longer find them desirable which strains the relationship. Don’t let stress kill your sex life. Here are some ways to combat it.
Often just talking with your partner about the issue helps to relieve it. Though it may feel like admitting defeat, sharing your feelings and what’s going on is actually a form of strength. Your partner will understand and support you, helping you to solve the problem. But ignoring it will make things worse. Let your partner know how you feel and how that contributes to your issue. For many, just sharing how you feel is enough to undo the problem. When you are going to have sex, set the mood. Lighting, music, sensual talk, mutual massages, dirty movies and other accoutrements or acts can help. Take your time with foreplay. On another front, find ways to de-stress in a healthy way after work, before taking part in sexual activity. Exercise, meditation, listening to your favorite music or working on a relaxing hobby are some great options. Find ways to stop spectatoring. This is when you picture yourself failing at something. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Instead focus on what is happening before you, how good things look or feel. If you cannot stop spectatoring, seek out a licensed counselor or sex therapist. Regardless, see a doctor to make sure no physical issues are coming between you and a good sex life.