Don’t let Stress Kill your Sex Life

2015-01-09

Sex has many health benefits, but one that experts always mention is it is a great stress reliever. But stress can also obstruct a healthy sex life. A stressful day at the office can carry over into the bedroom, for instance. We get so caught up in what we are stressed about, that we can’t focus on the matter at hand, and an erection therefore will not come. This can distress your partner, who wants to know what’s wrong. But a failure to perform makes future sex less likely, as the memory of this failed performance can weigh on the mind, making an erection in the future even less likely. At this point, a vicious cycle can occur. This type of situation may lead to performance anxiety, which in turn can cause erectile dysfunction. Lots of men for this reason avoid sexual intimacy. Not only does that hurt your own psyche but that of your partner’s as well. They may think you no longer find them desirable which strains the relationship. Don’t let stress kill your sex life. Here are some ways to combat it.

Often just talking with your partner about the issue helps to relieve it. Though it may feel like admitting defeat, sharing your feelings and what’s going on is actually a form of strength. Your partner will understand and support you, helping you to solve the problem. But ignoring it will make things worse. Let your partner know how you feel and how that contributes to your issue. For many, just sharing how you feel is enough to undo the problem. When you are going to have sex, set the mood. Lighting, music, sensual talk, mutual massages, dirty movies and other accoutrements or acts can help. Take your time with foreplay. On another front, find ways to de-stress in a healthy way after work, before taking part in sexual activity. Exercise, meditation, listening to your favorite music or working on a relaxing hobby are some great options. Find ways to stop spectatoring. This is when you picture yourself failing at something. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Instead focus on what is happening before you, how good things look or feel. If you cannot stop spectatoring, seek out a licensed counselor or sex therapist. Regardless, see a doctor to make sure no physical issues are coming between you and a good sex life.

Are Semen Volume Enhancement Pills Effective?

There are lots of pills on the market today that say they can enhance the volume or amount of sperm in a man’s semen. The idea is that this increase will make him more fertile and increase a couple’s chances at conceiving. What’s more, they claim to increase his masculinity, bedroom prowess, even the strength of his orgasm. But are semen volume enhancing pills effective? First a little background. The range for normal semen volume is 2ml to 5ml per ejaculation. A man’s volume peaks between 30 and 35 years of age. His sperm volume is the lowest after age 55. Sperm count and volume has been decreasing in industrialized countries worldwide for over a decade now, what the media has called the “sperm crisis.” One recent study has linked this to the use of aluminum. This “sperm crisis” may mean it is more difficult for couples to conceive today. But it all depends on the couple. There are companies selling semen volume enhancement pills. But these are not effective. Overall, sperm volume changes little within the semen itself.

Men believe that increasing semen volume will increase their chances of conception. There are a lot of factors involved in conceiving a child. It is a complex issue. Certainly, this is to be brought up with a urologist or fertility specialist. Increasing the amount released during ejaculation doesn’t make one more masculine. Nor does it increase the pleasure of one’s partner. Some men believe that the more they ejaculate, the stronger their orgasm. This is also a fallacy. In fact, some of the strongest orgasms in tantric sex come from holding back one’s orgasm, not in the amount released. Sperm only makes up 1-10% of semen. An increase in semen volume is liable to take place from a period of abstinence from intercourse or masturbation, rather than a commercially sold supplement. Medical experts believe that it is not possible to increase semen volume at this time through any method known to medical science. Ignore ads on the internet that say you can do so merely by taking a pill. Instead, if you and your partner have been trying for one year and have not conceived, seek the help of a medical professional.

Study Discovers Roots of Sexual Anxiety

2015-01-07

We are all sexual beings. But how we regard, express and enjoy sex varies greatly. A new report is out containing 18 samples from the United States and Israel. It looks into how people regard sex. Researchers place this in the context of what they call the sexual behavioral system. This is a psychological system that helps one interpret sexual feelings, thoughts and experiences. Researchers discovered two entirely new variables to include into this system, which can illuminate us on how human sexual behavior operates, and in this way help address issues better. Most people believe sex to be a worthwhile and enjoyable experience. There is a minority however that harbor negative associations or experience anxiety when the topic comes up. These obstructive feelings can be rooted in societal pressure or one’s own adverse experiences. But they come to impede normal, healthy sexual encounters.The two newly discovered personality traits were hyper-activation of the sexual system, and deactivation.

Those who have a powerful appetite for sex are hyper-activators. But this is a front for fear of rejection and performance anxiety. They constantly worry about “not being good enough.” This type is more impulsive with their sexual behavior. They fantasize about sex more often, and these fantasies tend to be more detached, with elements of control or dominance. They give greater effort into attracting partners, are more likely to be coercive. These also have a higher interest in casual sex. The male version is more prone to premature ejaculation (PE), perhaps researchers assert due to over-stimulation. In a relationship this personality type is insecure, less trusting and more neurotic. Those with a deactivated sexual system are the mirror opposite. These tend to suppress their desires. They don’t think of themselves as a sexual person. This type does not go above and beyond to attract others. They were hurt or scarred in the past and now have a negative view about sex. This type is more likely to have orgasmic dysfunction—meaning difficulty reaching climax. In relationships these tend to be close minded, insecure and more neurotic. Interestingly, researchers found no significant gender differences. When tested, you can score high or low on one, the other or both. Scoring low on both is the best. These are the most well-adjusted when it comes to sex. See your doctor if you are experiencing sexual dysfunction, to find out whether the problem is psychological or physiological.