What you learn in your 20’s
2014-05-05
Sure, most guys have a fumbling experience or two in high school and early college. But as you get older you learn more and more (askmen.com). And if you are thoughtful, each experience with someone teaches you something more. Many guys get the most experience when they are in their twenties. This is a time of self-discovery, liberation, meeting and dating lots of new people. It’s normally the time when we sow our wild oats before settling down to a career, marriage and perhaps children. Though we have more freedom of choice today, most guys still take this route. Though they may have to stave off marriage and kids a little longer, most guys seem to go down the same path. Still, those early days when you first got to chase singles sticks with you. Here’s what you learn in your 20’s. In high school we’re really just grateful that we got someone into the sack. It seemed like a heaven-sent miracle. But in your 20’s the mystery starts to wear off. One thing you begin to notice is that some people are bad in bed. They vary from those who just lay there, to those who get overly enthusiastic and call you a litany of curses, making you think they’re possessed. We begin to get a sense of who we really are, by our likes and dislikes in bed. We also get a handle on who can fulfill us and who cannot. Though you should still be thankful a date wants to take you to bed, it may not be you if things don’t go as well as you both hoped.
A lot of younger men and women think that the other should be a mind reader, know instinctually what the other wants. But in our twenties we start to get a handle on the fact that no one is a mind reader. We have to say what we want. Communication, likes and dislikes, the development of dirty talk, looking one another in the eye and even giving directions, of course in a sexy manner, start to develop somewhere in the second decade of one’s life. Lots of guys grow more sexually confident in their 20’s. In their teens they are often shy, blundering and have access to only a small number of partners. But in your 20’s, especially if you go to college, there are all sorts of people around. You have a lot more access, and bedroom slip-ups don’t get around a college campus the same way they do a high school, or in one particular town. It’s in your twenties that you start to explore more. Different positions, giving someone oral using different techniques, fore-play, and the post-coitus cuddle. We jump into so many different beds in our twenties, the most in our lifetime. But those formative years spell out who we are going to be in bed, what we like, what we look for in a mate, a lover, and a long term relationship. The core of our sexual beings is forged in our twenties. But if you are smart, it doesn’t stop there. Instead, you’re always working to shape up and improve your game.
