Monthly Archives: May 2011

Inside women’s sexual brains, preferences and porn

Inside women’s sexual brains, preferences and porn

2011-05-10

Men everywhere have probably wondered for thousands of years: What turns women on?

In the age of the Internet, it’s possible to find out. And with countless genres of images, videos and erotic stories available online, women are both able and empowered to access arousing material, and figure out for themselves what they like. Some are watching porn, as our sex columnist Ian Kerner pointed out in a recent column.

But what women are viewing and reading is usually not what men are searching for, according to a new book on the subject. In “A Billion Wicked Thoughts,” released Thursday, neuroscientists Ogi Ogas and Sai Gaddam combine web searches, personal search histories, websites, and classified ads with insights from brain science to discover precisely how different women are from men.

Just like we’re all born with taste cues – sweet, salty, savory, spicy, bitter – men and women’s brains are wired with sexual cues, Ogas said. For men, the cues are predominantly visual, and aimed at the partner; they often enjoy seeing women orgasm, which may be one of the reasons why so many women fake. But women are more complex; they place a high importance on feeling desired, for example, whereas it appears men generally don’t need to feel desired at all in order to feel aroused.

“A woman wants to know that there’s going to be repeat action, that he’s committed and is going to be coming back,” Ogas said.

Women are sexually complex in other important ways. If a man is physically turned on, he’s also psychologically turned on, which is why medications for erectile dysfunction (i.e. Viagra) can deliver fairly straightforward results. But a woman can be physically turned on and mentally turned off at the very same time, making efforts toward a treatment for low female sexual desire all the more complicated. And as to what makes a woman go beyond mere arousal and have sex, you’ll have to read this other article.

The female sexual brain is also like a “detective agency” that investigates a man’s many qualities before deciding  whether he’s worth her attention, the authors said. Evolutionarily, that makes sense. In the earliest days of humans, females who mated with the first males they encountered would not have fared as well as those who took the time to investigate their partners a little more. The “detective agency” would make sure that the chosen male would not be cruel, unfaithful or sneaky, would protect the woman and her child.

More important than evolution, though, is the “software” of the sexual brain, Ogas and Gaddam said.

Again, men are simple: The male brain is designed so that any stimulus can trigger arousal. For some, a single cue is necessary and sufficient, which is what makes a fetish, well, a fetish. For instance, some men get turned on in the presence of attractive shoes or feet, and need to see that in order to feel stimulated. On the other hand, fetishes are extremely rare among women. The female brain usually doesn’t respond to a single trigger every time; there can be lots of different combinations of things that can get them in the mood.

“The male sexual brain is like a single toggle switch, whereas the female sexual brain is like the cockpit of an F1 fighter jet,” Gaddam said. “There are tons of dials and instruments, and there’s sophisticated calibration going on.”

To fully appreciate this, feast your eyes on these two real search histories from America Online users:

MAN: college cheerleaders; cheerleaders in Hawaii; pics of bikinis and girls; pretty girls in bikinis; girls suntanning in bikinis; college cheerleader pics in bikinis; noooooooo; christian advice on lust

WOMAN: orlando bloom as vampire fanfiction; 321 sex chat; kingdom of heaven fanfiction; cinderella wedding dresses; gossip on orlando bloom; legolas erotica; legolas heterosexual erotica; evil orlando bloom dark fanfiction

As you can see, this woman tends to prefer stories (“fanfiction,” or narratives based on existing movies/TV/literature) much more than the man, who searches for specific images. The majority of these stories are romantic and lightly erotic, but plenty of women like graphic erotic stories, too. In the search above you can see this one gal is particularly interested in Legolas from “Lord of the Rings” and the actor who portrays him: Orlando Bloom. And there’s a lot of conversation that goes on among women about erotic stories about the inner feelings of the characters, whereas men consume porn alone and don’t talk about the aesthetics, Gaddam said.

“Male erotica is a solitary enterprise, and female erotica is a social enterprise,” Ogas said.

A minority of women do watch visual porn. Based on analyses of user profiles on a porn website, these ladies tend to be more socially aggressive, comfortable taking risks, and open to bisexual experiences. They also tend to have a higher sex drive.

And while many men do seek out porn involving young women, there’s a substantial interest in seeing scantily clad (or not clad at all) older women too. Significant numbers of web searches and websites out there are devoted to women in their 40s, 50s, 60s. There’s even a genre called “granny porn,” with a consistent following, in which the male performer’s age is highly variable.  It’s hard to know how old the men are who are seeking this class of erotica, but the authors speculate they come from a wide range of ages, since men’s sexual interests are pretty solid by age 25. Women, on the other hand, have much more flexible and dynamic interests during a lifetime.

What about homosexuality? The authors compared gay and straight male sexuality, and found they were strikingly similar. The differences: gay men like men, and are more likely to be aroused by the submissive role in sex than straight men. Lesbians are far more complicated, and Ogas and Gaddam don’t think they have enough information to make any definitive comparisons about it.

The authors don’t take any moral positions on any of this, but they do point out that individual tastes and preferences are difficult or impossible to modify. Yet everyone assumes their own interests are the norm, and we quickly label anything else as weird or even dangerous, Gaddam said.

“We should all be more sexually tolerant,” Ogas said.

Sex and Self-Esteem

Sex and Self-Esteem

Losing your virginity can summon up all sorts of emotions. It can also be an exercise in self-esteem or self-doubt, depending on whether you’re a man or a woman, according to researchers from Penn State University who analyzed the debut sexual encounters of college-age males and females.

It’s probably not too surprising that young men report a boost in how they view themselves after first having sex, while young women end up slightly less pleased, according to the study, which was published in April’s Journal of Adolescence.

Researchers started with a group of 434 freshmen, ages 17 to 19, and continued to track them for four years. Four times over that period, students were asked to complete a questionnaire assessing their satisfaction with their appearance. Within that time span, 100 students lost their virginity; those were the students on whom the researchers focused.

Judging from the questionnaire results, that first sexual experience had different emotional ramifications for men versus women: researchers found that women’s happiness with how they looked decreased a bit after having sex for the first time, while men’s satisfaction rose.

“For women, it’s not an overwhelmingly positive experience,” says lead author Sara Vasilenko, a graduate student in human development and family studies at Penn State. “It may be because of sexual double standards, which suggest society might view sex more positively for men and more negatively for women. Premarital sex isn’t necessarily seen as acceptable for women.”

On the other hand, men’s self-image may soar in part due to cultural messages about masculinity. “Men who have sex may feel more attractive because they’re living up to these expectations of what is considered manly,” says Vasilenko.

Sex-ed programs could be tailored to address the link between sex and women’s diminished opinions of their attractiveness. “Promoting better body image could help them feel better about themselves when they do become sexually active,” says Vasilenko.

In general, research revealed that women became more content with their appearance over the course of their time in college, while men grew more dissatisfied. But the flip-flop after an initial sexual encounter is more than merely interesting. It could have negative consequences for the men: in a larger sample that included people who had sex prior to college, researchers found that positive body image can lead to risky sexual behavior for male college students.

“Because the results are so positive, it has the potential to reinforce risky behavior like no condoms and multiple partners,” says Vasilenko.

Got Insomnia? What Not to Do at 3 A.M.

Got Insomnia? What Not to Do at 3 A.M.

Are you frustrated with your sleep—or lack thereof? You’re not alone.

Most people experience insomnia at some point in their lives, and 10% have chronic problems with insomnia.

If you’re staring at the ceiling hour after hour, night after night, it’s hard to know what to do or how to fix it.

Here are some mistakes you could be making, and what you should be doing instead.

Don’t look at the clock

Do this instead: Turn the clock around to face the wall, or hide it in a drawer or under the bed. Constantly checking the time will only arouse you and reinforce the idea that you’ll “never” get back to sleep.

Don’t stay in bed more than 15 minutes

Do this instead: Leave your bedroom and do something quiet, such as reading a book or watching boring television in a comfortable chair. It’s important to remind your brain that your bed is for sleeping, not for lying awake and worrying.

Don’t sit in bright light

Do this instead: If you do need to get up, turn on only a dim reading light, or go sit in the glow of your television or computer monitor. Keep bright overhead lights switched off, because light disrupts the production of melatonin—a hormone that regulates sleep—in your brain.

Don’t do anything too stimulating

Do this instead: Find something that occupies your time but gives your brain a break, such as knitting or a boring book or TV show. Reading whodunits or balancing your checkbook, on the other hand, may keep your mind working and alert.

Powerful Women as Likely to Cheat as Men, Study Finds

Powerful Women as Likely to Cheat as Men, Study Finds

Women in powerful positions are just as likely as men to cheat on their spouses, according to new research.

It’s widely believed that men are more likely than women to cheat on their spouses, but power appears to be a more important factor than gender, according to the study published April 28 in the journal Psychological Science.

“There has been a lot of research in the past that indicates that gender is the strongest predictor of infidelity, but none of these studies have been done on powerful women,” Joris Lammers, of Tilburg University in the Netherlands, said in a journal news release.

He and his team analyzed responses from 1,561 people who took part in an anonymous online survey. They were asked about their amount of power at work, confidence levels, and perception of risks associated with infidelity.

The survey revealed two significant findings, according to the researchers. First, there is a strong link between power and confidence, and the amount of confidence a person has is the strongest connection between power and cheating. Second, the gender of powerful people made no difference in past infidelity or their desire to be unfaithful.

The popular notion that men are more likely than women to cheat is simply due to the fact that men occupy more positions of power than women, according to Lammers.

“As more and more women are in greater positions of power and are considered equal to men, then familiar assumptions about their behavior may also change. This may lead to increased negative behaviors among women that in the past have been more common among men,” he said.