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Slow Down in the Bedroom for Optimum Performance

August 25, 2014Sexual HealthSRH Matters

Slow Down in the Bedroom for Optimum Performance

2014-08-25

Lots of men rush into sex. But the problem with this is that it often takes a woman longer to get heated up. In this sense men are like microwaves, hot in seconds, where women are like toasters, it takes a little longer to warm things up. What’s more, as a man ages, it may take his equipment longer to get where it needs to be, and the refractory time or the time it takes from orgasm to be able to produce another erection is extended as time goes on. These aren’t problems necessarily. It means instead that you need to switch up your repertoire in order to deal with the situation at hand. Experts say that men and women can have satisfying sex up into the golden years of life. Here are some techniques to help you to slow things down in the bedroom and ensure optimum performance. One of the advantages of opting for a slower pace is that you will elongate the experience, and increase your chances of giving your partner an orgasm. Joel Block, Ph.D. a licensed sex therapist says, “Research suggests that, on average, men orgasm through intercourse in about 2 minutes of active thrusting.” The average is 14 minutes for women. Says Block, “There’s a 12-minute problem!” Slowing things down, incorporating other forms of stimulation such as oral and digital, and giving extended foreplay before penetration can equal out this discrepancy. What’s more, some use a technique called edging, holding off on your own orgasm by pausing just before ejaculation, can make your orgasm stronger and make you last longer.

Intimacy is created and deepened by slow, meaningful sex. That doesn’t mean a quickie can’t be satisfying now and then. But a long, meaningful period of time to revel in her will not only get and keep you both satisfied, you are sending a certain message to her through your actions. “It’s more suggestive of giving her time and allowing her to enjoy the pleasure,” says Block. Kiss her all over. Use a little dirty talk. Tell her how you want to shower her with affection and pleasure. What’s more, for a man of a certain age where it takes a little while to get things going, instead of wallowing in self-pity for how things used to be, revel in the act, focus on your partner and her pleasure and give her the time of her life. Nothing boosts a man’s ego like a satisfied and happy woman. Furthermore, this slowing things down and saving sex not only will give a more pleasurable experience and make you a better lover, you will be turning a situation from a negative, slower operating equipment, to a positive, putting the focus on her and on weaving a sublime experience together. This can also help decrease performance anxiety. Lastly, try Kegels. These exercises can strengthen the pelvic floor muscles, allowing you to stave off orgasm and making the experience for both lovers more pleasurable.

Stress is a Serious Health Hazard

August 25, 2014Psycological HealthSRH Matters

Stress is a Serious Health Hazard

A certain amount of stress is necessary. It motivates us, keeps us active and engaged and helps us grow by learning to be flexible, resilient and in developing our problem-solving skills. Medical scientists and evolutionary biologists believe that a certain amount of stress is expected and the body is able to manage it. It’s long-term, chronic stress that is a serious health hazard, and that’s the kind the modern world places upon us. A recent NPR poll conducted in conjunction with the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation states that 25% of Americans experienced a lot of stress in the last month. 50% of Americans, about 115 million adults had a major stressful event within the past year. Psychologist Eldar Shafir of Princeton University told NPR, “Everything I know suggests that this is a pretty massive underestimate.” The reason is the poll only measures the stress that people experiencing it are aware of. There is also “hidden” stress which we experience subconsciously. This has to do with cognitive capacity, the amount of input the human brain can handle and juggle at the same time. Shafir says, “We have very limited bandwidth. There’s only so much you can attend to at any one time.”

When we are trying to deal with multiple situations at once Shafir explains, “It’s like driving on a stormy night. You’re focused completely on the thing that’s capturing your attention right now, and other things get neglected.” Chronic stress then can start to chip away at one’s financial well-being, relationships and health. Executive director of the Harvard Opinion Research Program at the Harvard School of Public Health Robert Blendon who conducted this poll says, “These are not just the people who say they have some stress day to day. These are the share of Americans for whom it really makes a big difference. It affects their ability to sleep and to concentrate. It leads them to have more arguments with family members. It affects their health.” The problem is many Americans don’t know how to properly cope with stress. Says Shafir, “The notions of self-reliance, self-sufficiency, which are so strong in the American culture, sort of lead you to say that if you have problems you should take yourself by the bootstraps and start working on it.” Some of the best ways to manage stress are to ask for help. Talk to friends and family. Set aside a little time to relax each day, even if it’s only 25 or 30 minutes. Yoga, meditation, counseling, exercise, playing an instrument, taking up a relaxing hobby such as woodworking or model building, reading, and listening to music are just some ways to alleviate stress.

Deciphering Common Penis Pains

August 25, 2014Reproductive HealthSRH Matters

Deciphering Common Penis Pains

The male reproductive organs are amazingly complex. That complexity of course means that a lot of things can happen. There are lots of different kinds of pains that can occur down below. There are guys that freak out about every little thing and keep going to the doctor’s office. Most though avoid going in and ignore the problem. But how do you know when a pain is serious and when it isn’t? Here are some ways you can decipher common penis pains and other problems. Do you have a sharp pain or a burning sensation at the tip of your penis? If it happened while showering, a little soap or shampoo getting into the tip might be the issue. Usually you feel it the moment it occurs. But sometimes you only notice it when you begin to urinate. However, if this pain fails to subside in a couple of days, make an appointment with your doctor. You could have a sexually transmitted infection (STI). A white or greenish discharge means it’s even more likely you have an infection. If you have a pain in the lower stomach or back in the days just before this penis pain, you may have kidney stones. This is another serious condition. Make sure to see your physician. Give it a couple of days. If the pain in the tip doesn’t subside see your doctor.

Do you experience scrotal pain under certain conditions? Some guys experience a dull ache in the scrotum after moving heavy items or lifting weights. It can happen if you’ve had to stand for quite a while as well. Usually it goes away on its own after a while. Enlarged veins within the scrotum causes blood to collect in that one area, warming up the testicles and causing pain. Urology chair at Memorial Medical Center in Springfield, Illinois Tobias Köhler, M.D. says “A lot of guys describe this as having blue worms in their sack.” Though this is not a medical emergency, you should see your doctor as this condition could affect testosterone and sperm production. Have you ever had an erection that is terribly painful and won’t go away? An erection lasting more than four hours is called priapism. This is where blood cannot escape the penis. When the blood becomes deoxygenated pain comes in. This condition can occur when erectile dysfunction (ED) drugs such as Viagra are mixed with recreational narcotics such as cocaine or ecstasy. It also occurs when ED drugs are injected directly into the penis. Go see a doctor or go to the hospital. A prolonged erection can cause damage to the penis. Have you ever felt an intense, shooting pain in your testicles, followed by vomiting or nausea? You have a twisted testicle inside your scrotum. It isn’t getting oxygen. Go to the E.R. If it isn’t handled right away, you could lose it. Lastly, a dull pain at the base of the penis where the penis meets the testicles is likely epididymitis. That’s an infection of the epididymis. See your doctor if you have this. Usually it’s a pain that keeps getting worse.

How Exercise Helps Us Tolerate Pain

August 20, 2014Psycological HealthSRH Matters

How Exercise Helps Us Tolerate Pain

2014-08-20

By GRETCHEN REYNOLDS

Regular exercise may alter how a person experiences pain, according to a new study. The longer we continue to work out, the new findings suggest, the greater our tolerance for discomfort can grow.

For some time, scientists have known that strenuous exercise briefly and acutely dulls pain. As muscles begin to ache during a prolonged workout, scientists have found, the body typically releases natural opiates, such as endorphins, and other substances that can slightly dampen the discomfort. This effect, which scientists refer to as exercise-induced hypoalgesia, usually begins during the workout and lingers for perhaps 20 or 30 minutes afterward.

But whether exercise alters the body’s response to pain over the long term and, more pressing for most of us, whether such changes will develop if people engage in moderate, less draining workouts, have been unclear.

So for the new study, which was published this month in Medicine & Science in Sports & Exercise, researchers at the University of New South Wales and Neuroscience Research Australia, both in Sydney, recruited 12 young and healthy but inactive adults who expressed interest in exercising, and another 12 who were similar in age and activity levels but preferred not to exercise. They then brought all of them into the lab to determine how they reacted to pain.

Pain response is highly individual and depends on our pain threshold, which is the point at which we start to feel pain, and pain tolerance, or the amount of time that we can withstand the aching, before we cease doing whatever is causing it.

In the new study, the scientists measured pain thresholds by using a probe that, applied to a person’s arm, exerts increasing pressure against the skin. The volunteers were told to say “stop” when that pressure segued from being unpleasant to painful, breaching their pain threshold.

The researchers determined pain tolerance more elaborately, by strapping a blood pressure cuff to volunteers’ upper arms and progressively tightening it as the volunteers tightly gripped and squeezed a special testing device in their fists. This activity is not fun, as anyone who has worn a blood pressure cuff can imagine, but the volunteers were encouraged to continue squeezing the device for as long as possible, a period of time representing their baseline pain tolerance.

Then the volunteers who had said that they would like to begin exercising did so, undertaking a program of moderate stationary bicycling for 30 minutes, three times a week, for six weeks. In the process, the volunteers became more fit, with their aerobic capacity and cycling workloads increasing each week, although some improved more than others.

The other volunteers continued with their lives as they had before the study began.

After six weeks, all of the volunteers returned to the lab, and their pain thresholds and pain tolerances were retested. Unsurprisingly, the volunteers in the control group showed no changes in their responses to pain.

But the volunteers in the exercise group displayed substantially greater ability to withstand pain. Their pain thresholds had not changed; they began to feel pain at the same point they had before. But their tolerance had risen. They continued with the unpleasant gripping activity much longer than before. Those volunteers whose fitness had increased the most also showed the greatest increase in pain tolerance.

“To me,” said Matthew Jones, a researcher at the University of New South Wales who led the study, the results “suggest that the participants who exercised had become more stoical and perhaps did not find the pain as threatening after exercise training, even though it still hurt as much,” an idea that fits with entrenched, anecdotal beliefs about the physical fortitude of athletes.

Because it did not examine physiological effects apart from pain response, however, the study cannot explain just how exercise alters our experience of pain, although it contains hints. Pain thresholds and tolerances were tested using people’s arms, Mr. Jones pointed out, while the exercisers trained primarily their legs. Because the changes in pain response were evident in the exercisers’ upper bodies, the findings intimate that “something occurring in the brain was probably responsible for the change” in pain thresholds, Mr. Jones said.

The study’s implications are considerable, Mr. Jones says. Most obviously, he said, the results remind us that the longer we stick with an exercise program, the less physically discomfiting it will feel, even if we increase our efforts, as did the cyclists here. The brain begins to accept that we are tougher than it had thought, and it allows us to continue longer although the pain itself has not lessened.

The study also could be meaningful for people struggling with chronic pain, Mr. Jones said. Although anyone in this situation should consult a doctor before starting to exercise, he said, the experiment suggests that moderate amounts of exercise can change people’s perception of their pain and help them, he said “to be able to better perform activities of daily living.”

Sex Myths Debunked

August 18, 2014Sexual HealthSRH Matters

Sex Myths Debunked

2014-08-18

Most people by a certain age feel like they know everything about sex. But there are a lot of myths out there too that seem to persist even when someone is older. See how much bedroom knowledge you possess. Here are common sex myths debunked. Most men think that sex is more pleasurable when one is young. Though it may be more rigorous when you are a young buck, middle-aged and even older men report having far more physically and emotionally fulfilling sex lives. Melanie Davis, PhD, CSE a sexuality education consultant says, “There’s less emphasis on quick orgasms and more focus on sensuality, creativity, and emotional connection.” Lots of guys think condoms are no fun. But actually, they can help make it a more pleasurable experience for both parties. 68% of guys use the wrong condom size and shape according to a survey conducted by luckybloke.com. When they tried on a variety of condoms and found the one that was right for them, their sexual pleasure increased significantly. Some guys think the route to a woman’s orgasm is through intercourse. But 75% of women don’t climax this way. Generally, direct clitoral stimulation is needed to make her have the big O. Davis says, “If couples want to climax simultaneously during intercourse, the best bet is for one of them to use their fingers or a vibrator to bring some joy to the clitoris.”

Some believe that women are naturally monogamous, while men are not. But Deboarah Anapol, Ph.D a relationship coach says, “Women are heavily socialized to restrict their sexual attraction to one guy at a time, but women’s biology and personality are both well-suited to multiple partners—more so than men’s.” Others believe that men naturally have a stronger libido than women. Anapol says, “Women can become disinterested as a result of childhood abuse, unaddressed relationship issues, or demands of children and work, but a sexually satisfied woman is a happy, loving woman.” Many men think that they have to have an orgasm to enjoy sex. However, it is possible to orgasm without ejaculation. Tantric sex practices can teach you this. What’s more, many men prefer to orgasm without ejaculation. If your partner puts too much pressure on having you ejaculate, and you don’t feel the need, sit them down and talk with them about it. Tell them how you feel and why you feel that way. Lots of guys think an erection is necessary to enjoy sexual pleasure. But it may not have to be. There are lots of forms of play, and indeed foreplay that get her engine running before intercourse. Still, if you are having erectile issues be sure to see a physician or specialist as it may be a sign of a deeper issue. Lastly, most guys think the bigger their unit, the better. But it’s really not the case. “Compatibility of size is the real barometer,” says Anapol. “A big penis and a small vagina are not a happy combination. Further, knowing how to use the penis skillfully is more important than size.”

Large Penis Misconceptions

August 11, 2014Sexual HealthSRH Matters

Large Penis Misconceptions

2014-08-11

Penis anxiety is rampant in our culture. Ask any man you know well enough their size and see how many tell you average, or even small. The idea of being told you have a small penis is an absolute affront to a man’s masculinity. But how much does the size of one’s unit really count in the bedroom, and how much is part of a large penis misconception weaved into the fabric of our society? Studies have shown that size doesn’t equate to a better relationship or more sexual satisfaction on the part of partners. It could make a partner feel gratitude and you confidence. But it could also lead to overconfidence, meaning one doesn’t listen to and isn’t in tune with one’s partner, in which case the partner’s satisfaction diminishes. One Kenyan survey found that wives were more likely to cheat if their husband’s member was too large, as it caused too much pain, so they weren’t able to feel sexual pleasure or satisfaction. Though many men in our culture and a few women called “size queens” are also obsessed with large penises, most women find that they take a lot of preparation for. What’s more, it isn’t always comfortable or even pleasurable for them. Men’s Health columnist Nicole Beland said, “Yes, we care about the size of a man’s penis. But when it comes to sexual satisfaction, it’s pretty far down on our list of priorities.”

A recent Australian National University study recently stated that women like bigger penises. But what the media failed to focus on was that the results found that what women prefer is within the range of average to slightly bigger than average. Female attraction actually declined after a certain size. Women also preferred this average to larger size in proportion to a man’s body. They preferred slightly taller men and the size corresponded. This goes with the generally accepted view, though not scientifically accepted that proportionality is attractive, as much as body symmetry is. Though pornography has come to glorify large penises, porn certainly is not real life. In fact, many young men growing up in the age of always accessible internet porn get many misconceptions about sex from these videos. Instead of letting porn tell you what sex should be like, or what preferences people should have, why not investigate what you and your partner like yourselves? It should be a wonderful, exciting journey rather than an anxiety ridden checklist-oriented activity. Some women find that men with large penises though exciting can’t live up to the hype they’ve been given. Sex is not only about penetration. Only one quarter of women can orgasm through regular sex. Most need digital or oral stimulation to reach climax. What’s more, there are techniques to satisfy a woman you can use no matter your size. To truly be the best lover, it isn’t the equipment you’re carrying. What makes the best lover is being relaxed, confident, positive, giving, responsive, open-minded and generous with your partner.

How do you Know When you’re a Sex Addict?

August 11, 2014Sexual HealthSRH Matters

How do you Know When you’re a Sex Addict?

Our society often tells us men want it all the time. But where do you draw the line between a healthy sex drive and obsession? Up to one in 25 men have what is called hypersexuality, or an intense sex drive. Though it didn’t make it in the latest tome of psychological disorders the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) V, it in fact does exist and the newest research claims that it should be viewed as a psychological disorder. A new British study found that when sex addicts watch porn under brain scans, their brains show similar patterns to drug addicts who need their substance, regardless of when it is pleasurable or not. As time goes on, an addict’s brain changes, reshaping the pleasure pathways of the brain and making the addict more driven to finding the object of their addiction, which is why they need the substance or stimulus so badly. But a 2013 UCLA study found that some people are more easily aroused than others. In this study those who self-identified as sex addicts showed a stronger response to sexual images than what they had themselves reported. Researcher in UCLA’s department of Psychiatry and Biobehavioral Sciences and the study’s author Nicole Prause, Ph.D said, “People with a high sexual desire probably have a predisposition to seek out sex because it feels better to them neurologically.”

Even if you feel like you can never get enough, you don’t necessarily have hypersexuality. So how do you know when you’re a sex addict or just a normal guy? If you feel like your sex drive affects those around you negatively or if you are unable to control your sexual desire than you may have this condition.When you can’t draw the line and it starts to affect your job, your relationships, your family or your life in an adverse way, it is time to seek help. Prause says, “Even statistically non-normal behaviors, like masturbating three times a day, may not cause distress or problems in a person’s life.” A problem occurs then when it affects you or those around you negatively. That’s when it’s time to seek out a therapist or a sex therapist. Of course there isn’t exactly a specific diagnosis one can use to determine hypersexuality. Nor is there a specific cure for this condition. But therapy can overcome any behavioral issue so it’s the best way to go. What’s more, if left untreated the problem can and does get worse. A licensed therapist who specializes in sexual disorders should be sought out for hypersexuality. Otherwise, if you just have a strong libido, chalk it up to a superior male virility.

When is Delayed Ejaculation Cause for Concern?

August 7, 2014Sexual HealthSRH Matters

When is Delayed Ejaculation Cause for Concern?

2014-08-07

Delayed or impaired ejaculation is a condition where it takes an extended amount of sexual stimulation for a man to reach orgasm and ejaculate. There are even those men who never reach climax. What’s more, impaired ejaculation can be a temporary problem, or can last a lifetime. Medications, surgeries and certain medical conditions can cause delayed ejaculation. Treating the issue depends very much on the root cause. This condition is only a health issue if it interferes with you or your partner’s sexual satisfaction and fulfillment. There are men with delayed ejaculation who take thirty minutes or more to reach orgasm. Others can’t ejaculate at all, a condition known as anejaculation in medical terminology. The most common type of delayed ejaculation is when a man can’t orgasm during intercourse but he can climax during digital or oral stimulation. There are even men who can only reach orgasm through masturbation. The first two differentiations are whether this condition is an acquired condition due to a certain medical condition for instance, but before sexual functioning was normal. If it has always been like this, since a man came to sexual maturity, it is called lifelong delayed ejaculation. Next there is generalized and situational types. Generalized is when it happens no matter the stimulation or sexual partner, situational only occurs with certain kinds of stimulation or partners.

You should see a physician or specialist, such as a urologist when you think your medication is causing impaired ejaculation, when you think you have an underlying health condition that may be causing it, or when it is causing problems for you, your partner or your relationship. For physical causes; a birth defect, injury, infection, heart disease, hormone related conditions and prostate surgery are some reasons why this condition can occur. For psychological reasons; performance anxiety, depression, religious or cultural taboos, differences between reality and fantasy may all be reasons causing the condition. Also certain medications such as diuretics, antidepressants, blood pressure medications, antipsychotic medication and substance abuse problems such as alcoholism can cause the issue. Be sure to see your primary healthcare provider. Write down all the questions you have before your appointment. Make sure to list all the symptoms you have had. You may even want to take your partner with you so that they can give more information or fill in the blanks of anything you might have missed. Let them know when the problem started, how long you’ve been having it for, how exactly it works for you, and if it is situational or happens all the time. Your doctor will likely give you a physical exam, a blood test and take a urine sample for urinalysis. There are medications to solve the problem. Also, psychotherapy or sex therapy may alleviate the issue.

The Effects of Over-Masturbation

August 7, 2014featuredSRH Matters

The Effects of Over-Masturbation

Years ago, young boys and teens were discouraged from masturbation, and told a striking litany of untruths from the notion that they would go blind, to the unlikely event of developing hairy palms or any of a number of sexual dysfunctions. Medical scientists and psychologists agree today however that masturbation is a normal and healthy practice, both physically and psychologically as long as it is done, just like with anything else, in moderation. However over-masturbation can have serious side effects which can include problems with physical, psychological and specifically genital health. There is a difference between frequent and over-masturbation. Though it can take place more than once per day, depending upon one’s physical condition, sexual functioning and sex drive, over-masturbation is more associated with an obsession or a compulsion. This form of masturbation can have a whole host of negative sexual side effects. Over-masturbation can lead to sexual fatigue. Without a refractory period for recovery, frequent masturbation can lead to the appearance of impotence. Ejaculating too often too can change a man’s body chemistry leading to memory loss, hair growth, fatigue, and pain in the areas of the groin and genitals. Without sufficient pause, a man may find it increasingly difficult to have or sustain an erection.

Those who have fallen into the habit of over-masturbation and have caused themselves certain conditions, such as perceived erectile dysfunction, only need to quit the act for a few days or a week usually for things to go back to normal. See a physician if this doesn’t appear to be the case. Men who masturbate compulsively however may not be able to stop so easily, and may in fact be exhibiting addictive behavior. If he is hiding the behavior, fails to take part in normal activities, and the act is getting in the way of work, school, relationships and other responsibilities he should seek out medical attention, either from his primary healthcare physician or a psychologist. What’s more, obsessive or compulsive masturbation can cause a whole host of psychological and relationship problems. It can cause a man to lose interest in sex with his partner, for instance. His perceived erectile dysfunction too can hurt his self-esteem. In the bedroom itself, normal sensation may not be enough to bring the man to orgasm. Or he may have trouble performing. This can lead to relationship problems or worse. If over-masturbation is the issue, don’t hide it. Have an honest conversation with your partner about the issue. Perhaps even seek out couple’s therapy. Those who masturbate excessively can do damage to the penis itself, particularly those who use aggressive techniques such as gripping hard to twisting. Though it may lead only to soreness initially, over time it can thicken the skin leading to a loss in sensation. Masturbating less and using gentler techniques will help.

Self-Help Can Cure Premature Ejaculation

August 5, 2014Sexual HealthSRH Matters

Self-Help Can Cure Premature Ejaculation

2014-08-05

From his teen years until about 60 years of age, premature ejaculation (PE) is a man’s number one sexual complaint. About a third of American men experience PE. After 60 years of age erectile dysfunction becomes a much more prevalent issue for some men. According to a University of Chicago study, 20-25% of older men also experience premature ejaculation. So what can be done to combat premature ejaculation? Unlike erectile dysfunction, PE isn’t necessarily an underlying sign of a larger health problem. Still, it is important to see your doctor should you be experiencing PE for an extended period of time, say weeks or even months. However, it could be a matter best up to a psychologist or sex therapist. Most studies show that sex therapy clears up the issue 80% of the time. Some therapists claim they have a 90% success rate. However, sex therapy can be expensive. Overcoming the root causes can take several months of therapy. At $100 per hour you could have a bill of around $1,500 when all is said and done. Due to the elevated price tag, many seek a variety of sources in order to administer self-help. Self-help methods can certainly cure premature ejaculation, if you are patient, thorough and open-minded, and you’re willing to seek out a variety of methods which could undo your issue.

Research suggests that self-help resources can undo PE for about two thirds who attempt it. However, professional counseling is much more effective. There are online resources. Also, there are books you can purchase online or at your local bookstore. Many people mistakenly believe that PE has something to do with the relationship or a psychological disorder. In truth, it’s just a small issue that can be overcome with the help of products, therapy, or exercises and techniques.Some men take it as a blow to their ego, which in turn gives them performance anxiety, exacerbating the problem. If the problem is psychological, such as to do with low self-esteem, low self-image or anxiety, perhaps a counselor may be best. It could be that one is very excited at the prospect of intercourse. In this case, try to concentrate on your partner. Plan out a lot of foreplay. Use mental techniques to make yourself last longer. Use the technique called “edging” in which you stop, then start again in order to reset yourself and make your orgasm that much stronger. Do kegel exercises. Strengthening the pelvic floor isn’t just for women anymore. In fact, strong kegel muscles can help stave off ejaculation. If it is due to sensitivity, there are many brands of numbing agents on the market, available at sex shops and pharmacies. Make sure to use it as directed or else, you may be numbing your partner by mistake. Numbing condoms are also on the market. Finally, there are tantric sex techniques that can help. See if you and your partner are interested in learning more about tantric exercises.