Monthly Archives: April 2014

Why hitting 50 has never been more fun

Why hitting 50 has never been more fun

2014-04-09

Apparently, we all now want to charge over the top into our 50s – and no wonder

By 

How tremendously cheering to learn that women in their 50s are happier, more self assured and more confident than their younger, and generally-speaking firmer counterparts.

Yay! I’m not there yet (not for decades, as my youngest, bless her Hello Kitty socks really does believe I’m 29) but it’s always good to know the lay of the land before heading blindly over the top.

Apparently one reason why ladies d’un certain age feel so darn good about themselves is that they have stopped fretting about their bodies, which presumably frees up more headspace for improving literature and spa breaks and learning circus skills.

And about time too. There’s not a mature woman alive who hasn’t looked at a photo of themselves aged 22 and winsome or 35 and poised or 48 and magnificent and wondered why on earth they frittered so much energy worrying about their thighs and lurching miserably from one insane cabbage soup or high protein or low self-esteem diet to another, when they were perfectly gorgeous they way they were.

I’m not mocking. Not at all. Mea culpa; it’s the agony and the ecstasy of being a woman in a society where we are judged – and, even more exactingly, judge ourselves – on our looks.

It was Bette Davis who acidly remarked that “getting old is not for sissies”, but I would suggest being young isn’t always a walk in the park either.

Youth is precious and fleeting and fabulous. But try telling that to the average 20-something crippled with insecurity and self-doubt.

If we’d known then what we know now, we’d all have taken more chances, or fewer chances or different ones at any rate and had given ourselves a break and loved our bottoms a bit more not sweated the small stuff, endlessly.

But hey, that’s the upside of growing older. And if the trade-off for wisdom and the sense of who-gives-a-fig freedom is a less than pert derriere or a few extra laughter lines, well ladies, it’s a price well worth paying.

Left-Handed People Have Better Sex, Study Finds

Left-Handed People Have Better Sex, Study Finds

2014-04-04

Samantha Grossman @sam_grossman

We foresee a line of “Lefties do it better” t-shirts debuting soon

Life can be pretty tough for left-handed people. For example, they can’t use those those university classroomdesks and they struggle with everyday devices like can openers.

Apparently, though, left-handed people ultimately prevail over their right-handed counterparts because they have better sex.

According to a recent survey, lefties are 71% more satisfied in the sack than righties.

Of the 10,000 people surveyed, 86% of left-handed people reported being “Extremely Satisfied” with their sex lives, compared to just 15% of righties. Just 15%! Too bad, so sad.

It’s hard to say exactly why lefties are more fulfilled, but we assume it’s because while righties are off doing things that are engineered for righties — like using desks or playing video games or opening cans — lefties are off perfecting other skills.

When Popularity Backfires: Climbing the Social Ladder Can Lead to Bullying

When Popularity Backfires: Climbing the Social Ladder Can Lead to Bullying

2014-04-03

Alice Park

Kids who gain the most status middle and high school are targets of a lesser-known pattern of aggression

There are certain truths that we have come to accept about the social hierarchy in middle and high schools – the popular kids rule the halls, while the less conventional ones, who dress, think or act differently, are marginalized at the bottom. And indeed, studies have documented how most of the victims of bullying are those who occupy the lower rungs of the social ladder — in 2011, nearly 30% of students aged 12 years to 18 years reported being bullied, either in school or via the internet, according to the National Center for Education Statistics.

But a new study suggests that social outcasts aren’t the only targets of bullying and aggression, and that increasing one’s social status can lead to being ostracized, teased, and threatened. “This second pattern of aggression is among kids who are relatively popular targeting their rivals, and this tends to escalate until they climb to the very top rung of the social ladder,” says Robert Faris, associate professor of sociology at the University of California Davis.

Faris was interested in understanding bullying at a deeper level, to identify “hotspots” of conflict and aggression in school-based hierarchies. He and his colleague Diane Felmlee, professor of sociology at Pennsylvania State University, investigated whether there were other reasons for students’ aggression toward one another, such as using it as a tool for social climbing.

Their results, published in American Sociological Review, suggest that kids get bullied not only when they don’t fit in, but also when they are simply trying to avoid being victims by moving up the social ladder. “As social status increases, the involvement in aggression–both as perpetrator and now as victims–also tends to go up until they get to the very top, when things start to reverse,” says Faris.

To detect this phenomenon, Faris and his co-author Diane Felmlee, professor of sociology at Pennsylvania State University, studied more than 4,200 students in eighth, ninth, and tenth grades during the 2004 to 2005 school year. In the fall, at the beginning of school year, they asked the students to record their five closest friendships. With that information, the researchers created a social map resembling a bird’s nest. Those with the shortest paths to the most students were given higher ranks on the social status scale. This exercise was repeated in the spring of the same academic year so Faris could compare changes in status against students’ reports of being victimized, which included verbal insults, physical aggression, being the target of damaging rumors, and continued and relentless harassment.

For both boys and girls who began the school year in the 50thpercentile, for example, but moved to the 95th percentile, the chances that they were targeted for some type of aggression increased by 25% compared to those who remained in the 50th percentile.

The students also answered questions about their anxiety, depression, anger, attachment to the school, and how socially central they felt in the school network. Not only were the socially mobile and relatively more popular students victimized more than the socially stable teens, they were also more sensitive to the effects of bullying. They reported higher rates of anxiety, depression, and anger, and lower rates of feeling central to their social group. Faris suspects that may result from the fact that these students have invested more time and self-esteem in their social status, and feel they have more to lose if they are ostracized.

Girls were disproportionately the target of this alternate type of bullying. The highest rates of such aggression occurred between girls, and boys were also more likely to target girls who were moving up socially than boys who were doing the same.

“One of the things we hope to call attention to is the group of people whom we don’t often think of as being bullied,” says Faris. While much of the aggression may not fit the classic definition of bullying, the verbal taunting and the ostracizing, both in the real world and online through social media, can have devastating consequences. And understanding that its victims may not always fit the commonly accepted criteria of outcasts who don’t fulfill social norms can lead to more effective ways of recognizing and even reducing bullying behavior – of all types – in schools.