How to pleasure breasts during sex – a guide for EVERY heterosexual man!

2015-01-16

Most men are fascinated by breasts and cannot help staring (sometimes very blatantly) or fondling them during intercourse. For men, breasts are a fun thing to play with – they often snuggle their faces in a woman’s cleavage or press them too hard or even slap them at times. There are even several terms for a woman’s breasts – boobs, knockers, jugs, balloons, etc. But most women would agree that they do not like the way their breasts are handled by their lovers. If you are a guy, let us tell you, women do not like their breasts being abused!  To make things easier and more pleasurable, here’s a guide every heterosexual man should read on how to caress breasts the right way.

Breast basics

Breasts are one of the most sensitive parts of a woman’s body and even a light touch can have varied reactions. Just your fingers are enough to pleasure them if you know the right way to use them.

The nipples are the most responsive to touch and you can do a lot by stroking them, gently fondling them or even licking them. Every woman has different levels of sensitivity and you need to gauge it to apply pressure accordingly.

You don’t always need to press them too hard as they contain milk glands and sensitive tissues which need to be dealt with care. Rough handling can cause pain more than pleasure and also alter their appearance.

Techniques to pleasure breasts

We know guys cannot keep their hands off breasts but it is important to keep in mind that they are not inanimate toys. So use these techniques to make your woman go wild with pleasure.

Firstly, don’t just grab them the moment you start foreplay, let your fingers gently touch the skin around the nipples and the surrounding areas. Once the nipples harden, you can stroke them to pleasure her more.

Don’t forget to look at your woman’s face to gauge her reaction. This will not just help you understand how much she likes it or if she’s not into it and also it will not let her feel that you love her breasts more than her (even if it may be the truth).

You can cup her breasts from behind while kissing her on her neck. This is ideal for women with big breasts as your hand may not be able to cover the entire area. After you cup them, gently run your fingers or even hand around the entire breast to arouse her more. You can gently press on the nipple using your index finger and massage in circular motion to harden them.

If your woman has small to medium sized breasts (or if you have big hands), you can squeeze them while facing them. Do not press too hard at first. Gently massage the breasts in circular fashion with your hands and then squeeze them harder. Watch her reaction to know if you should intensify the pressure or continue with the same.

Make her shriek with joy by teasing her nipples. You can wet your finger with your saliva (or even use an ice cube) and gently graze it on her nipples. Next, gently blow on them for a cool effect. Another technique is to directly lick them with your tongue and then blow air on them with your mouth. Alternate between these two and see her go wild.

Once she starts enjoying this, you can suck on the nipples too. While you are sucking on one nipple, place your hand on the other breast and keep massaging it. Then move on to the other one. When you suck on nipples, blood rushes to the area which makes them even more sensitive. This will make the act more pleasurable for her as well.

So the next time you have sex with your partner, make sure you apply this techniques and make her have a breastgasm!

With inputs from the book ‘How To Have A XXX Sex Life’. 

Image source: Getty Images

Dry, tight and warm – the dangerous practice of dry sex

While most women and men welcome a well lubricated vagina during sex, some women are purposely drying them out – to please their men. We take a look at the why, where and how of dry sex.

When a woman’s body gets ready for sex, the vaginal glands secrete a fluid that acts as a lubricant. This is a necessary process that protects her delicate private parts, and also readies her vagina for penetration, making it easier for her partner to insert his penis.

Lack of sufficient lubrication is a problem for many women, especially those who experience arousal problems, women on certain medications or those going through the menopause as it can make intercourse quite painful (for both man and woman) and cause tearing, inflammation and irritation while destroying the natural bacteria.

Curiously, some women (primarily from more traditional societies) are going against their bodies’ natural instincts and are resorting to extreme measures to prevent lubrication and keep their vaginas bone dry and, thereby, ‘tighter’ and ‘warmer’.

According to the US-based Guttmacher Institute that researches sexual and reproductive health across the globe “vaginal drying” appears to be most common among African (South Africa, Senegal, DRC, Cameroon, Malawi, Zambia, Kenya and Zimbabwe) and Indonesian women, although it also occurs in Haiti, Costa Rica and Saudi Arabia.

Despite the pain that accompanies dry sex, men and women from these communities believe that a dry vagina adds friction and tightness during intercourse, making it more enjoyable – for men.

In a report for the Guttmacher Institute, author Karen E. Kun writes that ”In South Africa, men have reported that vaginal wetness during sexual intercourse is an indicator of a woman’s infidelity, and have also associated vaginal lubrication with sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and the use of contraceptives.’

Dr Marlene Wasserman, better known in South Africa as sexologist Dr Eve, told Vice the continued practice of dry sex shows the lack of education relating to equality and women’s rights. She also mentions that in some traditional households a woman’s reputation depends on the size of her vagina, which they then hope to tighten by drying the vagina out.

According to Wasserman these men and women don’t understand that the vagina is capable of expanding during sex – and then back to its usual size afterwards. They also believe that if a woman has a partner with a large penis, her vagina will remain permanently ‘stretched’, and future partners will think she is promiscuous.

From a male perspective, the experience is not necessarily more appealing. Men’s Health, in a report on painful sexual habits, noted that a dry vagina can make penetration not only more difficult but also more painful, causing a burning sensation and redness. It is possible for the delicate tissues of the penis to tear, further increasing the likelihood of transmitting an STI.

Methods used to dry out the vagina

Some women in Indonesia avoid foods such as pineapple and cucumber, which are believed to induce vaginal lubrication, while others go as far as to insert dry rags into their vagina, wash with herbs or insert chalk, leaves, stones or sand to achieve their desired dryness. Some of the agents cause the vaginal walls to swell, which contributes to the feeling of tightness.

Some women also douche with detergents, antiseptics, alcohol or bleach. Tissues, toilet paper or powders may also be stuffed into the vagina to dry it out.

More recently Daily Sun and City Press have both reported that women in Mpumalanga and Botshabelo in the Free State have been buying a confectionary called Çhina Fruit from Chinese vendors. The ingredients in these sweets include prune powder, citric acid, salt, sugar and flavouring. Desperate women spend inordinate amounts of money on the sweets, believing that they help to tighten the vagina, though experts say it may be purely all in the mind.

Lovematters reported that women in Java, Indonesia, crouch over burning herbs to ‘smoke out’ their vaginas while Dutch scientist Tinde van Andel explains that Maroon women in Suriname frequently use genital steam baths that contain tightening and drying herbs.

Why dry sex is dangerous

The risks, however, are very serious. Using any substance that interferes with the pH levels of the vagina can result in a much higher chance of contracting vaginal infections, while “dry sex” also has serious health consequences. Research by Van Andel  has shown that dry sex damages the epithelium of the vagina and can lead to lacerations, inflammations, and the suppression of the vagina’s natural bacteria, all of which increase the likelihood of infection with sexually transmitted infections, including HIV.

Because lubrication is needed when a condom is used during sex, the absence thereof often contributes to the condom tearing.

Safer ways to achieve tighter penetration

Health24’s sexologist, Dr. Marelize Swart, advises couples to rather explore different positions to aid with tightness and friction during intercourse. And don’t forget the Kegel exercises! Continue reading Dry, tight and warm – the dangerous practice of dry sex →

What You Should Know about Men’s Sexual Health

2015-01-12

Written By: Christina Johnson

Anyone who watches professional sports on TV is bombarded with commercials dealing with erectile dysfunction (ED).

But despite what the ads may lead one to believe, men’s sexual health issues are more complicated than simply taking a pill and “letting the dance begin.” Men do have a biological clock. They do experience age-related hormonal changes, and there are good medical reasons not to ignore ED, even when it responds to medication.

Here are some facts about men’s sexual health that may surprise avid sports fans, Cosmoand GQ readers alike, all vetted by Mike Hsieh MD, program director of UC San Diego’sMale Fertility and Sexual Health Program, the region’s only medical center with a specific focus on male fertility issues.

ED is an early sign of cardiovascular disease

ED is an early marker for vascular problems. This is one reason why your primary care physician may – and should – ask you about your sex life. It’s a way to detect potential heart issues.

“Many men come to my office to talk about ED and they leave with a referral to one of our cardiologists,” Hsieh said.

Why is ED a risk factor for heart attack? Simple geometry: The penile artery is one-tenth the diameter of coronary arteries. The narrower tube is likely to clog before larger arteries in the heart.

Obesity, diabetes, sedentary lifestyle, smoking and hypertension put men at higher risk of ED and also heart disease. “They really are the same problem, just different parts of the body,” Hsieh said.

One study, published in the Journal of Urology, found that approximately 75 percent of men with chronic coronary artery disease had ED.

Men and women are equally likely to have fertility issues

Not too long ago, men were believed to be fertile forever (practically), but that’s not true.

“A 50-year-old man is not as fertile as a 30-year-old. That’s the take home message,” said Hsieh, who is also an assistant professor in the Department of Urology.

Advanced paternal age is associated with lower sperm counts and lower sperm quality, and increases a couple’s chances of having a child with genetic problems, he said.

Besides issues related to aging, men may have anatomical blockages, hormonal imbalances or genetic problems that can lower sperm counts, impair sperm motility or cause dysfunctional sperm shape.

Testosterone supplements are birth control for men

Locker room jokes about the anatomical disparities of body builders can have a real scientific basis.

“Testosterone therapy tells a man’s body it can shut down,” Hsieh said. “It gets lazy.”

The brain monitors testosterone levels and when it detects adequate amounts of the hormone, it directs the testicles to go on vacation. This halts sperm production.

“Giving a man testosterone is like giving him birth control,” Hsieh said. If a man is in his 50s or 60s, the fertility issues surrounding testosterone therapy are likely irrelevant, but for younger men who want a family, doctors should identify why there is a hormonal imbalance. Certain medications, including antibiotics and cancer drugs, can reduce testosterone production. In rare cases, low testosterone can also be the result of a brain tumor.

Food for thought: Male athletes who have taken performance enhancing drugs do not necessarily regain their full fertility after they stop taking the drugs. There can be permanent damage to a man’s sperm production.

Vasectomies are reversible

A vasectomy is surgical sterilization, but it is not permanent. A man still makes sperm after a vasectomy and if it has been less than ten years since the procedure there’s a 95 percent chance that the spaghetti-sized tubing (vas deferens) that was cut or clamped can be reconnected.

A vasectomy reversal is done under a microscope with sutures as fine as eye lashes. “It’s like sewing pasta together,” said Hsieh, who is an expert on the procedure.

“Manopause” is real

Men don’t get hot flashes, but they do experience age-related declines in sex hormones that mirror female menopause. Andropause usually begins as men approach middle age in the 40s and beyond.

“Every man goes through andropause,” Hsieh said. “But symptoms vary. Some men experience irritability, fatigue, weight gain, low sex drive and erectile dysfunction. Some don’t.”

Both male and female sex hormone levels diminish with age in men, and lowered estrogen levels can contribute to health problems, such as osteoporosis. The symptoms most men notice and complain about are usually associated with lower testosterone levels.

Testosterone therapy, however, poses its own set of health risks, including acne, balding, blood thickening and urinary dysfunction caused by an enlarged prostate. New studies show testosterone may also elevate a man’s risk of heart attack and stroke.

“We are starting to recognize the risks of hormone replacement in men,” said Hsieh.

Bottom line: Aging happens. Men who go on testosterone therapy should make sure they are closely monitored for potentially serious side effects.

Almost all forms of cancer treatment can have sexual side effects

Chemotherapy impairs sperm production because the treatment, by design, target cells with robust replication rates, such as hair follicles and sperm cells. Meanwhile, surgery or radiation, especially in the pelvic region, can damage nerves or alter blood supply to reproductive organs. The stress of cancer itself can also cause hormonal imbalances, which may hinder sexual function and fertility.

“We recommend fertility preservation for all men and women who have been diagnosed with cancer and want to have children,” Hsieh said. For men, fertility preservation involves freezing sperm or testicular tissue.

Don’t let Stress Kill your Sex Life

2015-01-09

Sex has many health benefits, but one that experts always mention is it is a great stress reliever. But stress can also obstruct a healthy sex life. A stressful day at the office can carry over into the bedroom, for instance. We get so caught up in what we are stressed about, that we can’t focus on the matter at hand, and an erection therefore will not come. This can distress your partner, who wants to know what’s wrong. But a failure to perform makes future sex less likely, as the memory of this failed performance can weigh on the mind, making an erection in the future even less likely. At this point, a vicious cycle can occur. This type of situation may lead to performance anxiety, which in turn can cause erectile dysfunction. Lots of men for this reason avoid sexual intimacy. Not only does that hurt your own psyche but that of your partner’s as well. They may think you no longer find them desirable which strains the relationship. Don’t let stress kill your sex life. Here are some ways to combat it.

Often just talking with your partner about the issue helps to relieve it. Though it may feel like admitting defeat, sharing your feelings and what’s going on is actually a form of strength. Your partner will understand and support you, helping you to solve the problem. But ignoring it will make things worse. Let your partner know how you feel and how that contributes to your issue. For many, just sharing how you feel is enough to undo the problem. When you are going to have sex, set the mood. Lighting, music, sensual talk, mutual massages, dirty movies and other accoutrements or acts can help. Take your time with foreplay. On another front, find ways to de-stress in a healthy way after work, before taking part in sexual activity. Exercise, meditation, listening to your favorite music or working on a relaxing hobby are some great options. Find ways to stop spectatoring. This is when you picture yourself failing at something. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Instead focus on what is happening before you, how good things look or feel. If you cannot stop spectatoring, seek out a licensed counselor or sex therapist. Regardless, see a doctor to make sure no physical issues are coming between you and a good sex life.

Are Semen Volume Enhancement Pills Effective?

There are lots of pills on the market today that say they can enhance the volume or amount of sperm in a man’s semen. The idea is that this increase will make him more fertile and increase a couple’s chances at conceiving. What’s more, they claim to increase his masculinity, bedroom prowess, even the strength of his orgasm. But are semen volume enhancing pills effective? First a little background. The range for normal semen volume is 2ml to 5ml per ejaculation. A man’s volume peaks between 30 and 35 years of age. His sperm volume is the lowest after age 55. Sperm count and volume has been decreasing in industrialized countries worldwide for over a decade now, what the media has called the “sperm crisis.” One recent study has linked this to the use of aluminum. This “sperm crisis” may mean it is more difficult for couples to conceive today. But it all depends on the couple. There are companies selling semen volume enhancement pills. But these are not effective. Overall, sperm volume changes little within the semen itself.

Men believe that increasing semen volume will increase their chances of conception. There are a lot of factors involved in conceiving a child. It is a complex issue. Certainly, this is to be brought up with a urologist or fertility specialist. Increasing the amount released during ejaculation doesn’t make one more masculine. Nor does it increase the pleasure of one’s partner. Some men believe that the more they ejaculate, the stronger their orgasm. This is also a fallacy. In fact, some of the strongest orgasms in tantric sex come from holding back one’s orgasm, not in the amount released. Sperm only makes up 1-10% of semen. An increase in semen volume is liable to take place from a period of abstinence from intercourse or masturbation, rather than a commercially sold supplement. Medical experts believe that it is not possible to increase semen volume at this time through any method known to medical science. Ignore ads on the internet that say you can do so merely by taking a pill. Instead, if you and your partner have been trying for one year and have not conceived, seek the help of a medical professional.

Study Discovers Roots of Sexual Anxiety

2015-01-07

We are all sexual beings. But how we regard, express and enjoy sex varies greatly. A new report is out containing 18 samples from the United States and Israel. It looks into how people regard sex. Researchers place this in the context of what they call the sexual behavioral system. This is a psychological system that helps one interpret sexual feelings, thoughts and experiences. Researchers discovered two entirely new variables to include into this system, which can illuminate us on how human sexual behavior operates, and in this way help address issues better. Most people believe sex to be a worthwhile and enjoyable experience. There is a minority however that harbor negative associations or experience anxiety when the topic comes up. These obstructive feelings can be rooted in societal pressure or one’s own adverse experiences. But they come to impede normal, healthy sexual encounters.The two newly discovered personality traits were hyper-activation of the sexual system, and deactivation.

Those who have a powerful appetite for sex are hyper-activators. But this is a front for fear of rejection and performance anxiety. They constantly worry about “not being good enough.” This type is more impulsive with their sexual behavior. They fantasize about sex more often, and these fantasies tend to be more detached, with elements of control or dominance. They give greater effort into attracting partners, are more likely to be coercive. These also have a higher interest in casual sex. The male version is more prone to premature ejaculation (PE), perhaps researchers assert due to over-stimulation. In a relationship this personality type is insecure, less trusting and more neurotic. Those with a deactivated sexual system are the mirror opposite. These tend to suppress their desires. They don’t think of themselves as a sexual person. This type does not go above and beyond to attract others. They were hurt or scarred in the past and now have a negative view about sex. This type is more likely to have orgasmic dysfunction—meaning difficulty reaching climax. In relationships these tend to be close minded, insecure and more neurotic. Interestingly, researchers found no significant gender differences. When tested, you can score high or low on one, the other or both. Scoring low on both is the best. These are the most well-adjusted when it comes to sex. See your doctor if you are experiencing sexual dysfunction, to find out whether the problem is psychological or physiological.

Diet, Substance Abuse and Male Fertility

2014-12-05

Recently, the American Society for Reproductive Medicine held their annual meeting in Honolulu, Hawaii. The topic of male fertility, in terms of diet and substance use, came up. Recent studies have found conflicts which leave specialists scratching their heads. But endocrinology and andrology experts say observational studies alone are not significant. Though in vitro fertilization (IVF) is better overall for those men who consume more fruits and vegetables, one study showed that eating produce with a high amount of insecticide residue affected sperm quality. But another study showed that vegetarians tended to have poorer sperm concentrations than omnivores. Another paper found that tobacco smokers have a higher risk of erectile dysfunction. But those who drank alcohol were less likely to experience it. Urologists often tell men to stay away from alcohol when trying to conceive. Yet, the final study showed that those men who had a high caffeine intake had more trouble conceiving, while male alcohol consumption seemed to increase chances.

The University of Illinois at Chicago’s Craig S. Niederberger, MD said, “While the results of some studies presented at the meeting seem to be contradictory, it is important to remember that observational studies often can’t tell the whole truth.” He went on, “A more rigorous scientific approach would include randomly assigning people to diets—what scientists call prospective randomization—and seeing what happens.” He added, “So we’re left with a basic rule of thumb: if it’s healthy for other parts of the body, it’s probably good for reproduction, too.” President of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) Rebecca Z. Sokol, MD, MPH said, “The human organism is complex and substances we inhale and imbibe have systemic effects beyond the stimulation the user is seeking.” She went on, “These studies provide new information that can help men make healthy choices for themselves, their partners, and their future children.”

Penile Bruising and the Issues it can Cause

Everyone bumps into something once in a while and gets a bruise. It’s inevitable. Lots of guys don’t even notice when it happens. But if your penis is seriously bruised, it could be a sign of deeper trouble. Most are nothing to worry about. But it is important to be aware of what might cause the issue, and when to go to a doctor or specialist to get checked out. Here are some issues to be aware of should you notice bruising in your nether regions. Each year emergency rooms all over the country deal with blunt force trauma to the groin. This could be a sports-related injury, work-related, a fight, motorcycle-related, or just some sort of accident. When capillaries under the skin are crushed or broken, the blood flows underneath, causing a bruise. However, if the injury is followed by severe pain from the penis or groin, see a doctor or go to the ER right away.  The penis itself has no bones. It gets hard when the spongy material within fills with blood. Still, the penis can be broken or torn. This is usually done when a man engages in risky or dangerous sexual maneuvers with his partner. Severe pain following a strange popping sound should alert a man to get to the hospital right away.

Another type has to do with lymph fluid. Lymph fluid is carried throughout the body by the lymphatic system. The penis contains these vessels. After a bout of rigorous sex, the vessels can become blocked. They may look like lumps on the surface of the penis, and can form patterns that appear bruise-like in color and manner. This is nothing to worry about and usually disappears by itself within a few days. For some, it can last as long as a few weeks. Without pain or any other symptoms, monitor it, but don’t worry too much. Bruising from a constant erection is another matter. If you have a painful erection that won’t go away for hours, this condition is what is called priapism. Priapism occurs when scarring within the penis traps blood inside. It can be very painful and demands immediate medical attention. This is an emergency. With priapism, bruising or a darkening of the skin may occur. Anything that seems serious should be checked out by a physician. For a small bump or light bruising, you can use warm or cool compresses if it bothers you, take over-the-counter medication such as aspirin or ibuprofen, and simply allow it time to heal.

Sexual function: relationships, well-being a significant influence in menopausal women

2014-11-26

Past relationships and emotional health may have a much greater influence on menopausal women’s sexual function than hormones. This is according to a new study published in the Journal of Clinical Endocrinology & Metabolism.

Improper Masturbation Techniques can Cost you

2014-11-24

We’ve seen a big turnaround in the subject. Adults just a few short generations ago would tell young men that they’d go blind if they touched themselves. Now psychologists and medical professionals believe it is perfectly healthy and natural, and may even be a way to make sure sperm stays in tip-top condition. But when is masturbation too frequent? The simple answer is, when it interferes with your love life. If you cannot finish with your partner, or take so long that it becomes a burden, it is time to roll the frequency back, or even take a break altogether. Improper techniques can cost you as well. Unorthodox masturbatory practices were recently the topic of an article in the peer-reviewed Journal of Sexual Medicine. The most dangerous to a man’s sex life were those acts that do not mimic sexual relations with a partner, for example using a vacuum hose or a hot tub jet in order to reach orgasm. These men had less sensation within the penis, lower libidos, and less response when it came time to have sex with a partner.

Over masturbation due to easy access to internet pornography is another big problem for men today. Climaxing to these videos is fine. When it happens so often a man cannot reach orgasm with a partner, it becomes an issue. Also, some men get really specific about what kind of porn they like. These specifics may creep into the psyche. Now, he needs that particular kind of sex, position or scenario in order to reach orgasm, making bedroom activities much more narrow and confined. If this is the case, drop internet porn for a while, do not masturbate for two weeks, and spend ample time on foreplay with a partner after the two weeks are up, getting both of you highly aroused, before engaging in intercourse. Lastly, don’t engage in any masturbation that is too rigorous or can be dangerous. The more rigorously you handle the penis, the more desensitized it becomes, and the harder it is to reach orgasm. Just like with anything else, moderation is key.