Mutual Masturbation: Another Tool for Your Sex Toy Toolbox
2016-09-21
For one thing, mutual masturbation can be an unexpected and novel way to shake up your usual bedroom routine. Any time you introduce something new into your sex play, it can add a frisson of excitement to whatever you’re doing.
The element of being “on display” can also be incredibly sexy, especially if you have either voyeuristic or exhibitionistic tendencies. If the signs of your partner’s arousal—his moans, his sighs, the swelling of his penis—are a turn-on for you, why not encourage him to masturbate in front of you? If you enjoy the feel of your partner’s eyes on you, you may find that masturbating in front of him heightens your experience.
Masturbating in front of your partner can also help you become more comfortable with your own masturbation habits. As you do this, you may even discover a new technique!
Mutual masturbation can also ensure you have an orgasm with your partner. Showing your partner how you pleasure yourself can help you teach your partner what you like. It’s the sexiest game of “show not tell” you can imagine.
Okay. You’ve Sold Me. How Can I Proceed in a Non-Awkward Way?
If you’re new to mutual masturbation, try sending your partner this article and asking if they’d be interested in giving it a whirl. As fellow Good in Bed-er Kate McCombs, M.P.H. has previously written, sometimes the best way to approach a conversation like this is to say, “Hey, I read this thing and thought it seemed interesting. You game?”
Or try initiating mutual masturbation as the two of you are already starting to get intimate. Touch your partner with your hands, and then pull away and say, “why don’t you take over for a minute?” You can then continue to switch back and forth to help each other get more comfortable.
Another option is to say something like, “you know what would be really sexy? I’d love to watch you touch yourself.” Or to turn it around, ask your partner, “do you want to watch me while I touch myself? I want to show you what I like to do when I’m thinking about you.”
If you’re feeling shy, you can keep the lights off, or perhaps even light a single candle. You won’t be able to see everything, but you’ll still know what the other person is doing.
And if you’re not ready to display the specific masturbation techniques you use when you’re all alone, you can keep it simple by using slow, sensual strokes. This can be a great way to ease into things.
9 Ways to Take Your Mutual Masturbation to the Next Level
Once you get comfortable touching yourselves in front of each other, there are a ton of easy ways to switch it up:
Have just one partner masturbate at a time, while the other watches. This ups the voyeuristic factor.
Have one partner be the “boss.” For example, perhaps one partner can only touch themselves—or bring themselves to orgasm—when given explicit permission, and then must stop masturbating when their partner tells them to.
Tag team each other’s bodies. If your partner is a woman, try fingering her internally while she strokes her clitoris. If your partner is a man, you can caress his balls or knead his perineum while he strokes his shaft.
Try role-playing by pretending to “catch” your partner in the act. Set up the scene beforehand so you both know the plan. While the one who is masturbating will know what’s coming, the thought that someone can walk in at any time can be a huge turn-on.
Or call your partner into the bedroom and surprise them by being on the bed, masturbating.
Switch up the timing. Try masturbating together before or after whatever activities tend to be your “main event” as a couple. Or try taking breaks from the main event to spend a few minutes masturbating.
Have masturbation be the main event.
Watch erotic movies or read erotica out loud to each other while you masturbate.
Bring toys into the picture. There are a number of great options out there whether you’re a man or awoman.
Because there are so many ways to experiment with mutual masturbation, it holds so much potential for being a source of constant novelty and excitement in the bedroom. So what are you waiting for? Get those fingers going!
The most prevalent thought for both men and women during sex is a fairly obvious one: “How am I doing?” But this question leads to very different thought processes for the sexes. “While you’re worrying about how long you’ll be able to last, she’s worrying that things are taking too long on her end,” says Emily Morse, a sex and relationship expert and host of the top downloaded podcast Sex with Emily. You can thank the orgasm gap: While the average man reaches climax in about five to seven minutes, a woman, on average, requires at least 20 minutes of direct stimulation. But there’s more to it than that. Here, taken from the experts, are some of the more prevalent thoughts you could expect her to be having.
Many women worry that they’re taking too long to reach orgasm and/or that their partner will orgasm before they do. “Women sometimes take longer to get aroused and therefore take longer to orgasm, particularly if they aren’t receiving enough persistent, direct clitoral stimulation — otherwise known as the orgasm gap. Promescent, an OTC spray, is one way men can extend their latency time and prolong intercourse, particularly if they have a partner who generally takes longer to reach orgasm than they do (which is most men),” says Ian Kerner a psychotherapist and sexuality counselor.
Women fantasize more than men do during sex, and many don’t fantasize about the act they’re engaging in or the person they’re having sex with. “This isn’t because they’re bored or disinterested — rather, it helps to quiet the parts of the brain that are associated with anxiety and outside stressors. It’s been shown that women, unlike men, need to turn off parts of their brain in order for the rest of their body to turn on, and fantasizing — even if it’s not about you — is a great way to do that,” says Dr. Kerner.
Flaws with her own body.
Women in general suffer from an epidemic of body-image dissatisfaction. Too many women feel as though their bodies are flawed. During sex, rather than focusing on what they are feeling, they worry about what our partner thinks of our body: Does s/he see this wiggle here, this stretch mark there, the way my boobs flop over there? “We try to hide our body (only having sex in the dark, keeping clothes on during sex, only getting undressed under the covers), sometimes we avoid having sex in positions that could be unflattering, etc. All of this compromises a woman’s pleasure because when our heads are filled with worries and anxieties, we aren’t present in the current moment. When we are busy worrying about how to position the sheets in a way that will flatter our belly or hide our thighs, we aren’t attuned to the pleasurable physical sensations of our partner’s touch, and this can interfere with our ability to derive satisfaction from the sexual experience,” says Alexis Conason, Psy.D., Licensed Psychologist (www.drconason.com).
Your scorecard.
“During intercourse women often think about their man’s performance, what he’s doing that feels good and what doesn’t,” says Dr. Fran Walfish, Beverly Hills child, parenting, and relationship psychotherapist, author, The Self-Aware Parent, and co-star of Sex Box onWE tv. Frequently, women (and men) fantasize about other people and various behaviors that titillate and excite their fire. “Although I am a proponent of open, honest, direct communication, I strongly urge people not to tell their partners their personal bedroom fantasies during intercourse. All it does is fuel jealousy, rivalry, competition, and low self-esteem in your partner, creating a wedge between you and your beloved.”
When it’s going to end.
“This is especially true when they weren’t really into it in the first place, but agreed to engage, hoping that they would get in the mood,” says Rhonda Milrad, a relationship therapist, and founder and CEO of Relationup.
For understandable reasons, society’s conversation about body satisfaction tends to focus on women. Women, it can safely be argued, face a lot more social pressure to look good all the time, to feel ashamed of their bodies, and to harp on minor imperfections.
Men aren’t immune from all that, though. And one particularly painful area where it manifests, according to sexual health researchers, is in insecurity about their penises. This can lead to some bad outcomes. As a team led by Thomas Gaither, a urologist at the University of California, San Francisco, point out in a new study in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, “Case reports have shown men undergo risky procedures, such as silicon injections, to lengthen their penis and increase penile girth.” In addition, “Genital piercings, silicone injection, and subcutaneous implant are increasingly common and are associated with numerous complications.”
Gaither and his colleagues wanted to better understand how men view their penises, so they conducted what they say is the first nationally representative survey using a newly developed scale called the Index of Male Genital Image, or IMGI. It consists of 14 statements ranked on a score of 1–7 involving penis length, girth, and so on — a score of 1–3 is coded as “dissatisfied,” while 4–7 is coded as satisfied. They got results from 3,996 men, the sample drawn from 18-to-65-year-olds who weren’t institutionalized.
Comparing those who landed in the “satisfied” (greater than 4.0) versus “unsatisfied” (4.0 or lower) buckets when the scores were averaged, the researchers didn’t find any statistically significant differences in penile satisfaction when it came to age, “race, marital status, education, location, income, or sexual partners.” Penile (dis)satisfaction appears to be pretty much constant across these categories.
Overall:
A total of 3433 (85.9%) reported an average greater than 4 per item on the IMGI and thus were classified as satisfied. Men reported highest satisfaction with the shape of their glans (64%), followed by circumcision status (62%), girth of erect penis (61%), texture of skin (60%), and size of testicles (59%). Men reported dissatisfaction with the size of their flaccid penis (27 %), length of erect penis (19%), girth of erect penis (15%), amount of pubic hair (14%), and amount of semen (12%). Men reported neutrality with the scent of their genitals (44%), genital veins (43%), location of urethra (42%), color of genitals (40%), and amount of pubic hair (36%). Of note, those who were extremely dissatisfied (score of 1 or 2) reported dissatisfaction with their flaccid penis (10.0%), length of erect penis (5.7 %), and girth of erect penis (4.5%).
There were some decent-size differences in terms of the sexual experiences of men who were satisfied versus dissatisfied with their penises. Those who were satisfied were less likely to be sexually active (73.5 percent versus 86.3 percent), and engaged in less daily and weekly sexual activity. There were also slight but statistically significant differences in the percentage of dissatisfied versus satisfied men who reported having had vaginal or receptive oral sex (85.2 percent versus 89.5 percent, and 61 percent versus 66.2 percent). The obvious question here is what’s causing what: To what extent are men who are dissatisfied with their penises less likely to seek out sex as a result of their insecurity? A correlational self-report study can’t answer that, nor can it answer whether these mens’ likes and dislikes were shared by their sexual partners.
It’s interesting that a sizable minority of men reported dissatisfaction with their testicle size or glans shape. On the one hand, in a survey like this you are explicitly asking about certain features, so these responses don’t mean that they are wandering around obsessing over this stuff. (It would be another thing entirely if you asked men to generate an open-ended list of body features they didn’t like and these kept popping up.) But on the other: It’s an interesting comparison to what women go through, because it highlights the fact that at least some of the things both men and women worry about probably aren’t, in fact, of much import to anyone else. If you’re a guy, the odds that a partner is going to care that much about the size of your testicles or the “shape of your glans” — that’s something I can honestly say I had never even thought about before reading this article, and which the researchers note “has little anatomic variability” — are probably pretty low.
More broadly, the main takeaway, as a first-pass attempt at understanding this stuff, is that men mostly feel pretty happy with their penises. Which can maybe explain the epidemic of unsolicited photos.
Opinion: Sexual health information is a necessity for students
The American River College Health Clinic is working hard to help students take care of themselves by partnering with community provider Women’s Health Specialists to provide a variety of reproductive health care services.
For many students, college is an exciting time, whether you are jumping in right after high school or an older student returning after many years.
It is also a busy time, where we juggle very real responsibilities of work, family and school, rushing through life in pursuit of our goals.
It’s in this harried place where sometimes our attention to our health, especially our sexual and reproductive health, can fall to the wayside.
The numbers are sobering. According to a 2014 report released by the Center for Disease Control, young people ages 25-24 account for nearly half of all new Sexually Transmitted Infections (STI’s) diagnosed every year.
The reasons for the high numbers are complex. Some say it’s because sex education is underfunded in high schools, others say the newly found freedom of college life is a contributing factor, others say that social stigmas regarding STI’s is at fault.
These stigmas may come from many different cultural or religious forces, just talking about sex is still taboo, much less being sexually active or accessing health care services. This can lead to shame or embarrassment when it comes to taking control of our health.
Regardless, accepting the need to value sexual health and talking about it with our partners and with our medical providers is a good first step in taking care of ourselves.
According to Pamela Whipple, a nurse at the Student Health Center, the Sexual Health Clinic is open every Tuesday from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. by appointment with drop-ins available.
The clinic offers birth control, emergency birth control, pregnancy testing and STI testing for chlamydia and gonorrhea. The clinic is welcoming to students of all gender identities and respects preferred gender pronouns.
George Hillman, a Communications Major, feels that it is important for young men to know where they stand with regards to their sexual reproductive health.
“I think if you are going to be intimate with someone, it’s good to make sure that you are not going to hurt them.” said Hillman. “We need to feel comfortable, so I’m glad that they understand that. I didn’t even know they were here. It’s good to know, makes it easier.”
According to Whipple, there are a variety of reasons people may find it difficult to seek out services or talk about sexual health.
“Fear of stigma and prejudice sometimes prevent people from seeking sexual health services,” Whipple said.
As a long time nurse, she has seen the pendulum swing to the positive side.
“…many of the students we serve regard sexual health services like any other service,” Whipple said.
Malmoud Mahabad, a Business Major, thinks that it’s especially important for everyone to care for themselves. “It would help them if they have any issue. When they come here, they can check with the staff. It’s a natural part of life”
Taking care of your sexual health is a critical part of your overall health care and respect for your sexual health can impact you for years to come.
“Women should use the coil rather than the morning-after pill as emergency contraception, according to official new guidelines,” the Mail Online reports.
The guidelines, from the National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE), cite previous research showing the coil has a lower failure rate than other forms ofemergency contraception.
The coil, also known as intrauterine device (IUD), is a small, T-shaped contraceptive device made from plastic and copper. It’s inserted into the uterus by a trained health professional. It may prevent an egg from implanting in your womb or being fertilised.
This isn’t “news” as such – it has long been known that the contraceptive coil is more effective and can prevent unwanted pregnancy up to five days after unprotected intercourse, compared to only a few days with the morning-after pill. It also has other advantages, including that it can be used as an ongoing method of contraception to prevent further need for emergency contraception or unwanted pregnancy.
The current guideline on contraception is what is known as a Quality Standard. These documents set out the priority areas for improvements to the quality of care delivery across the country. They give a list of statements that will help improve and standardise care.
The contraception quality standard covers all methods of contraception, not just emergency, but does not cover related sexual health issues such as sexually transmitted infections. Quality Standards accompany other clinical guidelines that give recommendations on how conditions should be diagnosed and managed.
The information on coils, injections and implants has been drawn from NICE’s clinical guideline on long acting reversible contraception.
As NICE says, it is estimated that almost one in five pregnancies are unplanned, with younger people at greater risk. However, things are improving – since 1998 the under-18 conception rate is said to have halved.
Between 2013 and 2014 there was a 6.8% decrease in rates, giving a conception rate of about 23 per 1,000 15-17 year olds, which is the lowest it’s been since the end of the 1960s.
There remains room to improve though. In 2014 there were also 184,571 terminations or abortions, with the highest rate among young women in their early 20s at 28 per 1,000 pregnancies. For under-18s it was 11.1 per 1,000. More than a third of abortions are in women who’ve already had one or more previously.
In 2014/15, the vast majority of emergency contraception issued by sexual and reproductive health services was for the morning-after pill.
What does the guidance say about emergency contraception?
NICE’s second quality statement is that “Women asking for emergency contraception are told that an intrauterine device is more effective than an oral method”.
An intrauterine device (IUD) refers to the copper coil. It shouldn’t be confused with the hormone-releasing intrauterine system (IUS); another long-term method of contraception.
The IUD can be inserted up to five days after unprotected intercourse, and has a lower failure rate than the morning after pill.
Furthermore, it has the advantage that once it’s inserted it provides an ongoing method of contraception which will reduce the risk of further unplanned pregnancies or need for emergency contraception.
If a woman wishes to have an IUD fitted as a form of emergency contraception, but the healthcare practitioner is not able to fit it there and then, NICE advises that the woman is given the morning after pill in the interim, and then directed to a service that can fit the coil.
There are two morning after pills. The standard morning after pill (levonorgestrel, brand name Levonelle) can only be taken up to three days after unprotected sex. The newer pill (ulipristal acetate, brand name ellaOne) is a longer acting pill and is also effective up to five days after unprotected sex.
Conclusions
The quality standard emphasises best medical practice on this issue – women requesting emergency contraception should be advised on the benefits of the copper coil or IUD for several reasons. Namely, it being the method:
with the lowest failure rate
that can be used up to five days after sex
that provides a long-acting ongoing method of contraception
Despite the IUD’s known effectiveness and benefits, in 2014/15, the vast majority of emergency contraception issued by sexual and reproductive health services was for the morning-after pill. It’s worth taking a moment to consider why this may be the case.
The morning after pill can be purchased over the counter at a pharmacy – the woman doesn’t need to see a doctor and they don’t have to have an examination to have a coil fitted, both of which some women could naturally feel embarrassed about or averse to. Also, some women may not like the idea of long-term coil left in place.
It should also be recognised that while IUDs are effective at preventing pregnancy, they do not protect against sexually transmitted infections (STIs) in the same way as barrier methods of contraception such ascondoms. And if you get an STI while you have an IUD, it could lead to a pelvic infection if not treated.
Nevertheless, in terms of effective emergency contraception, as Professor Gillian Leng, deputy chief executive of NICE says: “We want to empower women with the best information about all methods of contraception and their effectiveness so they can make an informed decision … We also want to ensure women are told the coil is more effective than the pill as emergency contraception.”
Dr Jan Wake, GP and member of the guideline development group said: “The advantage of the coil, on top of being more effective is that it can be retained and used as long term contraception, some can even be left in place for 10 years … Timing however is essential and women deciding on the coil should make contact with the clinic they have been advised to attend as soon as is possible.”
Even a Small Interruption in Blood Flow Affects Male Fertility
2016-08-23
Blood flow is important for the proper formation of sperm. What is known as the spermatic cord carries blood to and from the testicles. But when a varicocele forms, it can limit blood flow, affecting a man’s fertility. Medical experts still aren’t sure why this disruption occurs. But a varicocele is a blockage that prevents proper blood flow out of the testicles. Researchers believe a valve becomes faulty in a vein, inhibiting blood from moving through freely. This makes the vein dilate, which can cause damage to the testicles and affect fertility.
A varicocele often occurs in adolescence. It usually happens on the left side, but can affect sperm production in both testicles. Now, a consortium of researchers from Europe have found that even a small varicocele can affect male sperm production in a big way. 7,000 army recruits from six different countries participated in the study. Ulla Nordström Joensen, MD, PhD was its lead author. She hails from Roskilde Hospital in Denmark.
Dr. Joensen said that even the mildest interruption in blood flow had a significant impact on a man’s fertility, particularly in semen quality. This led to less sperm concentration. But for those with varicocele, motility problems are common. This is the sperm’s ability to swim energetically for long periods in order to reach its destination. Even if a man has a problem such as this, he is unlikely to recognize it himself. How to overcome the issue in men with this condition is still a point of contention, however. Surgery can fix the issue.
But 15% of men are said to have a varicocele. That is certainly too many to operate on. Of course, only those who want to have children would be interested. In this study, 7,067 men from Germany, Denmark, Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, and Finland took part. They were all recruited between 1996 and 2010 to serve in their country’s military. Their average age was 19. 1,098 were diagnosed with varicocele, or 16% of the total. Quizzically, Dr. Joensen points out that some men with a varicocele are also fertile. It does not necessarily lead to infertility but can. If a man and his partner have been trying for up to a year without conception, it is important that the couple each seek a fertility specialist. For the hopeful father-to-be, this means an appointment with an urologist.
Porn is damaging young men’s sexual health and causing erectile dysfunction, expert warns
2016-08-16
Young men are increasingly suffering sexual health problems as a direct result of their porn addiction, an expert has cautioned.
The NHS has seen a rise in the number of young men in their late teens and early twenties complaining of erectile dysfunction, which therapist Angela Gregory attributes to online porn.
“Our experience is that, historically, men that were referred to our clinic with problems with erectile dysfunction were older men whose issues were related to diabetes, MS, cardiovascular disease,” she said.
“These younger men do not have organic disease, they’ve already been tested by their GP and everything is fine.
“So one of the first assessment questions I’d always ask now is about pornography and masturbatory habit because that can be the cause of their issues about maintaining an erection with a partner.”
Nick (not his real name), found his porn viewing habits quickly escalated once he got his first laptop aged 15, leading to him watch videos every day. At his lowest point, he was watching around two hours daily.
“What I was watching, it definitely got more extreme over a short period of time in my case. There was nothing that would give me a kick,” he said.
“Normal stuff didn’t do anything any more, so I had to get more and more extreme material. [It was] disturbing stuff that disturbed me that, in normal life, I wouldn’t dream of doing.”
Watching porn divorced from human contact had a dramatic effect on Nick’s libido, making it difficult for him to perform in real life.
“I found that when I was lying next to a girl a lot that I just wouldn’t be horny at all, despite being really attracted to the girl and wanting to have sex with her, [because] my sexuality was completely wired towards porn.
“At my peak I was probably watching up to two hours of porn every day.”
Nick approached a doctor for help, who told him a lot of men his age were suffering the same type of problems.
He eventually managed 100 days without watching porn, and saw his sexual health markedly improve.
“My libido came back with a vengeance and I met this girl and it was great. For the first time in ages I was able to flirt and within quite a short time I was able to have normal sex,” he said. “I was feeling so balanced and happy.”
An anonymous young woman told BBC Newsbeat she has spent over £2,000 on laser hair removal after a one night stand criticised her pubic hair, which she believes is down to the influence of porn.
“I think porn has definitely had an impact on what men expect women’s body hair to be like,” she said.
Bob, who is married to Rachel, first watched porn when he was nine or 10.
“I really started to look at it actively in probably year eight, and quickly found myself addicted. Since then I’ve been trying to work my way away from it, and remove it from my life,” he said. Obviously, it’s hard. It is an issue for me and my wife.”
“It makes me feel rubbish about myself. If you sometimes look at porn, now that we’re married, I just feel like ‘Am I not giving you something that you want?’” Rachel said. “I don’t think you can masturbate to porn and then pretend that it’s not part of your sexuality.”
If you think you’re having a problem related to porn, Angela Gregory advises talking to your GP.
Men and Contraception: A Necessary Disruption of the Status Quo
2016-08-12
When men are well informed, they can become active participants in the health and well-being of their partners and children- by Monica Kerrigan and Jonathan Stack
James Ngugi is proud of his vasectomy.
The father of five lives with his wife Leah and their children in Kayole, a poor section of Nairobi, Kenya. Leah had suffered complications with each of her five pregnancies, and went on the pill after the couple’s youngest child was born. But she worried constantly about missing a dose.
Then James had a breakthrough realization.
“For too long, I assumed this problem was hers and hers alone,” he says. “But then I realized I could take on the burden myself.” James opted to get a vasectomy through Tupange, a family planning program funded by the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation in partnership with Jhpiego and the government of Kenya. Tupange means “let’s plan” in Kiswahili, and the program is dedicated to making modern contraceptive methods available to the urban poor to improve maternal and newborn survival and empower couples and youth to plan their families and their lives.
For James and Leah, a vasectomy was the perfect choice. They were so happy with the results—and with the impact of the vasectomy on their family and their marriage—that they now work with Tupange to educate others about the benefits of voluntary male sterilization.
“I never knew how much James loved me until he had this vasectomy for me,” Leah says simply. “It is the most generous gift he has ever given me.”
James and Leah are a family planning success story. They’re also a reminder that men are a critical part of the family planning equation. Enlisting the support and involvement of men like James is essential if we want to expand the benefits of modern contraception to women and their partners all over the world.
♦◊♦
That’s especially important to bear in mind now, as we observe the midpoint of the global Family Planning 2020 (FP2020) movement. FP2020 was launched at the 2012 London Summit on Family Planning with an ambitious goal: to deliver modern contraception to an additional 120 million women and girls in the world’s poorest countries by the year 2020 without coercion and discrimination. Four years later, we’ve made enormous strides, reaching an additional 24.4 million women and girls and securing commitments from more than half of the 69 FP2020 focus countries. While our actions are strong, they have not caught up with our ambition yet and we risk falling short of achieving the transformational changes we promised: that women and girls, regardless of where they live, should have the same access to life-saving contraceptives.
To accelerate progress urgently, we need to continually and critically examine our strategies, review the data, and break the mold of doing business as usual. We must challenge ourselves to think creatively, disrupt the status quo positively, act on innovations and identify new partners with bold ideas to urgently expand access and use of contraceptive information, products, and quality services.
One area where we’ve fallen short is male engagement: getting men and boys to actively participate in frank conversations about sex, consent, contraception, and sexual and reproductive health and rights. We know that male opposition, power dynamics, lack of communication and gender equity remain serious barriers to expanding quality, access and improving the uptake and continuation of contraceptive use. Tackling these barriers head on will help drive progress forward.
♦◊♦
Globally, the vast majority of family planning programs are oriented towards women and girls. Programs focusing on male engagement in family planning have fewer dedicated resources, even though men are often the primary decision makers about family size, health services, and family planning methods. But if we’re going to reach our FP2020 goal—let alone our long-term goal of universal access to reproductive health—we’ll need to expand the dialogue and involve men and adolescent boys as valuable and effective partners. Programs that optimize the positive engagement of men can improve health outcomes for women, men, and their families.
Stories of progress in family planning are often stories of innovative partnerships with governments, civil society, service providers and the private sector. And one bold attempt to ratchet men’s involvement up is World Vasectomy Day, an innovative partnership designed (by men) to proactively take charge of their own health and well-being. Launched in 2013, World Vasectomy Day has quickly grown into the largest male-focused family planning event in the world. The information isn’t limited to vasectomies though; conversations also focus on preventing HIV and other STIs, male circumcision, gender equality, and the importance of men in family planning.
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The innovation of World Vasectomy Day is that it isn’t just a one-day event. It’s a larger movement aimed at encouraging men to become agents of change in their communities; to take an active role in their sexual and reproductive health throughout their lives. Men tend to be negligent of their own health, and the gender dynamic in many cultures means that men are unaccustomed to thinking about how their actions affect their partners and children. Masculinity norms also make some men unsure about family planning.
That’s why it is so critical to secure men’s engagement on this issue. When men are well informed, they can become active participants in the health and well-being of their partners and children. Their involvement can also foster joint decision-making and improve communication between partners that lead to shared decision making about family size and method choice. Men can also play a powerful role in transforming rigid gender norms, promoting women’s and girls’ empowerment and well-being, and ending gender-based discrimination and violence.
♦◊♦
This year the Government of Kenya is stepping up to host World Vasectomy Day on November 18. Kenya is a country that is on the forward edge of family planning, actively embracing new ways to broaden the dialogue around contraception. In 2014 Kenya showed a dramatic increase in its modern contraceptive prevalence rate for married women, which rose from 32% in 2003 to 53%, thereby exceeding its FP2020 goal.
Another important trend globally and in Kenya, is the number of women and men who have achieved their family size and want to stop childbearing. Half of married women age 15-49 and 42% of currently married men consider their families complete. The Government of Kenya is responding to this trend and is moving forward to innovate and forge strong, bold partnerships with NGOs and local communities to improve quality, access and choice.
While the gains are worthy, challenges remain in Kenya. Almost 20% of teens aged 15-19 are mothers or pregnant with their first child – numbers that have remained stagnant over five years. The modern contraceptive prevalence rates for all women including those who are unmarried, sits at 39.1%. In terms of male engagement, condoms represent only 2% of modern contraceptive use and less than 46% of married women had even heard of male sterilization.
Let’s be clear: to deliver on the promise of FP2020, we need to reach 120 million additional women and girls and their partners to promote family planning, expand access to information, services and supplies in order to accelerate contraceptive uptake and reduce discontinuation.
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We need to design programs with men and adolescent boys to address myths and misconceptions and help get them on board to become champions, users and supportive partners. Many men are like James: they see their wives suffering with fear of pregnancy or contraceptive complications, and they long to step up and relieve them of the burden. For other men it’s about their children: they want to give them the best possible chance in life, and that means making sure they can support them fully. These are positive, heroic instincts. If we are going to hold ourselves accountable to the promise we made back in 2012, we must take a closer look at men’s needs, develop an evidence base, cultivate different partnerships and gear more information towards men and adolescent boys.
When James opted for a vasectomy, he knew he was taking a risk of being one of the first men in his community to get the procedure done. And now, with only four years left on the clock to reach the FP2020 goal, the family planning community must take some risks too. That means we’re going to have to try new approaches, bring new partners to the table, listen to fresh voices and move out of our comfort zones to get things done and ignite real, lasting change.
The kind of change that involves all of us breaking down silos and building bridges – working together with men and adolescent boys so we can go further faster.
STD Risk Increases in Women Who Use Long-term Contraceptives
2016-08-08
We usually think that in the decades before the Sexual Revolution, there were far less cases of teen pregnancy in the United States. But according to the CDC, the teen pregnancy rate in has dropped steadily in the U.S. since the 1950s. Even so, it is still far higher than most other developed countries. There are lots of reasons for this decline including better sex education, the sheer breadth of birth control options, and that protection is widely available. Some options that have gained in popularity in recent years include hormonal implants and intrauterine devices (IUDs).
Although they are very effective in preventing unwanted pregnancy, they do nothing to protect against STDs. The problem is, some couples for whatever reason, may forgo a condom, if this method of birth control is employed. The fact is, STDs have been on the rise, including some worrisome ones, like antibiotic resistant gonorrhea. The most effected population are those between ages 15 and 24. But an uptick in all demographics, including seniors, has taken place.
The 2013 national Youth Risk Behavior Survey assessed sexually active teens on condom and other contraceptive use. Researchers conducting the survey asked during their last bout of sexual intercourse what birth control method young women used. Researchers inquired about condoms, birth control pills, IUDs, and hormonal implants or injections. Another question was whether they had used a condom during their last sexual encounter. 2,300 teen girls answered the survey. 57% were Caucasian. 34% were seniors in high school. Of those who used long-term contraception, 16% said they never used condoms.
Researchers hypothesized that those using long-term contraceptive methods would be less likely to opt for or push for a condom, and more likely to contract an STD. They were right. These young women were 60% less likely to use condoms. The takeaway is no matter what your age or the stage you are at in your love life, if you are going to have sex outside a long-term, monogamous relationship, use a condom. What’s more, all sexually active adults should be tested once a year for STDs. If your time is up, be sure to go see a doctor or urologist and get screened.
Did you know! Women can experience non-stop orgasm for 4 months!
2016-08-01
Guess what? Women can not only experience longer orgasms than men but a sexual health expert claims they can experience one for four straight months! Hard to believe? It’s true! Read to know more…
An applied practice termed as “orgasmic meditation” or OM, continually allows women to live in a continually aroused state that helps them embrace all areas of their life with sensuality and vigour.
This practice as sex instructor Nicole Daedone explains is not foreplay; it’s practised separately from sex and away from the bed and is not designed to induce orgasm, but to keep the woman on a plateau of sensation. Daedone, who is the author of ‘Slow Sex, The Art And Craft Of The Female Orgasm,’ further states that the practice of “orgasmic meditation” requires dedication.
She adds that couples should set aside 45 minutes daily, over ten days, to get any sense of OM’s benefits as according to her, an orgasm is the body’s ability to receive and respond to pleasure and although, sexual climax is often a part of orgasm, but it is not the sum total.
For “orgasmic meditation” to be a success, the woman must concentrate ‘mindfully’ on the sensations she feels, without letting her thoughts run amok, while the man’s role is to concentrate on his woman. They would be able to prolong sexual pleasure and delay climax for a much longer period with this practice.
It’s a fact! Women don’t even need to have sex to reach orgasm Coregasms: Some researchers have found the exercise triggers sexual arousal and even climax in some women. Termed as ‘coregasms’, because of its linkage with exercises for core abdominal muscles, they could occur while biking, spinning, abdominal exercises or even rope climbing.
Thinking her way to an orgasm! A recently conducted study on the female brain during an orgasm had an interesting find. Some women claimed that they did not need to visualise a sexual or romantic fantasy to reach climax. They further stated that merely focusing on wanting an orgasm was enough and their body would respond.
Oral sex is enough: A study on the sexual behaviour of men and women in the United States discovered that while men relied on vaginal intercourse to reach orgasm, women were able to climax by participating in non-penetrative sex acts such as oral sex.
Speaking of oral sex, recent studies have revealed that indulging in it is actually beneficial to a woman’s health. Some sexual health experts are of the opinion that ingestion of semen from oral sex is quite healthy since it contains “mood-altering chemicals” elevates mood, increases affection and induces sleep. This is also why some doctors recommend that pregnant women should perform oral sex on their partners to cure the effects of morning sickness. – With inputs from agencies
