Importance of “Effective” Communication between Partners on Sex

It’s important to understand the cultural aspects in Pakistan and that it is a big hurdle to cross for both husband and wife to discuss matters related to sexual wellbeing and other aspects of sex.

 

To emphasize and encourage this kind of an open communication lets list ways to start: one has to first be comfortable, honest and open towards one another. Not only should this talk be about sex but also related to other aspects such as preferences of each party with regards to sexual behavior, mutual respect and awareness regarding any health issues associated with it such as STD’s, etc.

“Effective” communication means communicating your viewpoint “samajhna aur samjhana” without imposing.

It’s for us: to emphasize that the benefits are for us and not for anyone else. It’s important to be:

Honest

Share your concerns
If partner is communicative, seek help
If partner is unwilling to use any form of contraception, start using it yourself, or seek counseling

Effective communication can be achieved with a few simple rules and if we continue to practice them, we can get better at them and in turn become better and effective communicators.
 
Simple techniques listed below can help:

• Be sure the other person/your husband/your wife/your partner is listening
• Always try and begin with something positive
• Do not attack the other person with negative comments or put them on the defensive
• Try not to exaggerate, keep it simple, honest and effective
• Try not to mind read and make assumptions
• Try and explain your feelings and why you are feeling the way you are
• It’s best to limit yourself to one or two topics at a time

With these simple tips, the communication between partners can begin to improve and lead towards a better understanding, more open communication and thus a healthier relationship.

Sexuality is not only about sex. It is about who we are, what we think and feel about ourselves, about others, about our bodies, and how we relate to others.
 
Sexuality is part of our identity as human beings. It comprises of our physical, psychological, social, emotional, and spiritual composition. Each person’s sexuality is unique and individual, shaped by culture, traditions, society, experiences and personal beliefs.
 
Sexuality is a complex aspect of our personality and ‘self’. In many ways, sexuality is the force that empowers us to express and display strong, emotional feelings for another person and is a natural stimulus for the procreation of our species. The ‘thing’ that attracts one person to another may not always be sexual – it could be sense of humor, personality, ‘likeability’, compatibility, or intelligence. Sex or sexuality may only be a secondary consideration.
 
Between couples, sexual relations assume a prominent role in the overall “well-being” of their relationship. It is one of the ways of attaining mutual satisfaction, closeness and compassion between loving couples.

What do I need to know about getting Accurate information about Sexual Relations?

It is easy to gain information about sex from the world around us. As a young adult questions regarding sex and the mystery surrounding it, may often tickle your mind; but it is important to get accurate and correct information and be well informed about safe sex and your basic sexual rights.

Decisions regarding sex can affect your academic life, your career, your lifestyle, your relationships, and family. Whatever sexual decisions you make, choose the ones that help you feel good, confident and comfortable. It is necessary to be aware that as responsible young adults, sex involves responsibility to protect oneself and one’s partner from infection, unwanted pregnancy and coercion.

The decision to have sexual relations is a personal choice and it is important to think through all the risks and benefits. In the Pakistani culture and keeping with our traditions, it is assumed and expected that sexual activities between two people take place in a marriage.

Is there any difference between Sexual desire and Love?

Love and sex are NOT the same thing. Love is an emotion or a feeling. There is no single definition of love because the word “love” can mean many different things to many different people; love involves feelings of romance or attraction. Sex, on the other hand, involves the body.

Tell me something about Sexual Feelings

Sexual feelings, fantasies, and desires are natural and one has them throughout one’s life. It is only natural that at various points in one’s life, they may choose to engage in sexual activities. However, it’s important to be safe and to do what makes you and your partner comfortable.

Sexual Activities include

Kissing

We pucker up all the time, whether it’s giving nani or dadi a kiss on the cheek to say hello or brushing lips with your date. Obviously not all kisses are sexual, but kissing can be a sexual experience and is often the first thing that partners do together.

Sexual Intercourse

Sexual intercourse is among the most intimate behaviors possible between two people, and, for many people, it is also one of the most pleasurable and emotionally satisfying. Intercourse can be anal (involving insertion of the male’s penis into his partner’s anus) or vaginal. (Insertion of the male’s penis into the female’s vagina).
 
Moreover, sexual intercourse is not limited to partnerships between individuals of opposite genders only. Same-sex or homosexual encounters, involving anal penetration or stimulation, are also referred to as sexual intercourse.

Oral sex

Stimulating a partner’s genitals with the mouth is called oral sex. Mouth-to-penis oral sex is sometimes referred to as fellatio and mouth-to-vagina oral sex is calledcunnilingus.
 
There is also a chance of Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs) being transmitted during unprotected oral sex. This means that performing and receiving oral sex does put you at risk, however, it is less risky than intercourse.
 
Some Infections commonly caught through oral sex are Chlamydia, gonorrhoea, genital herpes and syphilis.
Infections which are less frequently passed on during oral sex include HIV, hepatitis A, B and C, genital warts and pubic lice.

Phone sex

Phone sex is a type of virtual sex that refers to sexually explicit conversation between two or more persons via telephone, especially when at least one of the participants masturbates or engages in sexual fantasy. Phone sex exists both in the context of intimate relationships (e.g., among distanced lovers), and as a commercial transaction between a paying customer and a paid professional.
 
I see many signs about neem hakims offering herbal supplements to increase Libido for sexual performance. What’s the truth on that?
 
There are neem hakeems in Pakistan claiming that they have herbal supplements and so-called medicines to enhance and increase your Libido. With such claims, it is important to always check with a health care professional or to read more about these so-called performance-enhancing supplements. These supplements can at times negatively affect your natural body physiology.

What is Homosexuality?

Homosexuality is a term based on the Greek work homo meaning same. Homosexual individuals are consistently attracted to individuals of the same gender. After attaining the age of puberty, and in the presence of clear alternatives. Homosexuals do not have a problem with gender identity. Thus homosexuals are very different from transsexuals who believe themselves to be members of the opposite sex trapped inside the body of a wrong gender.

What is Transsexualism?

Transsexualism is a condition in which a person identifies with a physical sex different from the one that they were born with or assigned in cases where ambiguity of the child’s sex organs led to assigning them a physical sex. In Pakistan they are commonly called Hijra’s and are socially discriminated against.

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