Culture is not an excuse for oppressing women

2018-06-26

There are principled and practical reasons for improving women’s rights, says Margot Wallström, Sweden’s foreign minister.

THE light in her eyes had gone out. She sat on her hands, her head bowed, apathetic. We were in a salle d’écoute—a listening room—in a dimly lit hut in a village in eastern Democratic Republic of Congo. I was there as Special Representative of the UN Secretary-General, to prevent conflict-related sexual violence and end impunity for such crimes.

The girl’s father told us she had been walking back from school with a friend. Both were schoolgirls in their early teens, wearing uniforms and carrying books and pencils. A military vehicle stopped alongside them as one of the militiamen called for the girls’ attention. Could they get them a pack of cigarettes? Not daring to refuse, the girls did as they were told. When they returned, the man pointed at one of the girls and said: “You, come with us.”

The militia held her for two days. When she was released, the light in her eyes had gone out. She was bright, the first of her siblings to go to school. The hope of the family, her father said, the hope of the village, perhaps even more than that.

exual violence in conflict is one of the cruellest, most inhumane and vicious acts. It is a war crime. Yet, during my time as UN Special Representative, I often heard people say that sexual violence was inevitable. That it was sad and unspeakable, but an unavoidable consequence of conflict. That it was a lesser crime. That it was part of the culture of war.

If sexual violence can be rationalised as inevitable, just imagine the other forms of domination over women that are accepted or seen as unavoidable consequences of culture. Let me be clear: sexual violence is not cultural, it is criminal.

A culture of oppression
But I want to reflect on the word “culture”, and the way that it is used to justify the oppression of women. I believe firmly that culture should never be accepted as an excuse for the oppression of women.

“Culture” is typically defined by sociologists as a set of values, norms and beliefs among a group.  It may refer to the traditional culture in Afghanistan, of football fans in Argentina, or of university students in Sweden. Let me clarify what I mean by the “oppression” of women. I use the term to mean all instances when a woman is restricted because of her gender—whether she is explicitly discriminated against under the law or unfairly treated and looked down upon.

Not all oppression of women around the world can be explained by culture and, of course, not all cultures include the oppression of women. But the instances of it are many and varied: from the woman who is forced to marry against her will in the name of religion to the woman who is expected to put up with sexual harassment at work, because “that is just the way it is.”

The problem exists in all societies. Those who claim it does not exist in the West have been silenced by the MeToo movement, which called out injustices previously excused by a different kind of (workplace) “culture”.

Saying that the oppression of women exists in all societies does not mean it is the same everywhere. The situation is worse in some cultures, and it does no good to pretend otherwise.

To what extent is this a problem? Should we not respect the fact that some cultures mean a lot to some people, and that cultural differences regarding the roles of men and women should be accepted?

I do not believe we should: particularly when it comes to women’s rights.

First, there is the legal argument. The Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination against Women (CEDAW) is almost universally ratified. The UN Universal Declaration of Human Rights is agreed upon by all countries. Women’s rights are human rights and there is no room for culture in that discussion.

Second, a more principled argument, illustrated by the philosopher John Rawls’s veil of ignorance: what kind of world would you like to be born into if you did not know your position in it beforehand? Or to put it another way, how many men would like to have been born as a woman in this world?

And third, there is the practical argument. Gender equality increases wealth. A recent report by the OECD showed that the rise in female participation in the labour market in the Nordic countries over the past 50 years accounted for a 10–20% increase in GDP. Peace agreements that include women among the signatories are more likely to last.

And finally, a word about democracy. Women are half the world’s population. Is it too much to ask for half the influence?

The actions needed
There is no silver bullet that can instantly eliminate all oppression of women. Nevertheless, I would like to offer a few thoughts, based on conclusions that I have drawn from four decades in politics and foreign affairs.

It is important not to come across as if we are fighting culture (be it religious, secular, ethnic or intellectual). That risks alienating the people we are trying to protect. We should have the deepest respect for the meaning that culture has in people’s lives—including in women’s lives.

We should be careful not to come across as condescending. This does not mean we should be silent in the face of blatant abuse, or not voice support for victims. Although bold statements might be visible and memorable, most of our results come from quiet, determined work.

Four years ago, Sweden was the first country in the world to launch a feminist foreign policy. The notion of feminism is provocative to some people, but to us, feminism means that women and men should have the same rights, duties and opportunities. Or as the aphorism goes, feminism is “the radical notion that women are human beings.”

Our simple model is based on three Rs: rights, representation and resources.

Using these categories in any country where we have an embassy, we assess the practical realities of daily life. Do women and girls have the same rights—the right to education, to work, to marry whom they want, to divorce, to run businesses, to open bank accounts, etc? Are women represented where decisions are made that affect them—in government, parliament, local assemblies, businesses and organisations? Do women’s and girls’ interests receive the same resources—in budgets, in development cooperation?

Wherever we identify inequality, we think of what we can do to remove it. In practice, this means that we have been pushing for the Women, Peace and Security agenda in the UN Security Council, where Sweden is a non-permanent member. We have initiated a network of women peace negotiators who are active all over the world.

We have given a lot of support to women’s sexual and reproductive health and rights and provided funding for midwives in Eastern Africa. And our 108 embassies around the world are relentlessly organising events, creating attention and support for women’s issues.

A case for hope
I do not know what the girl in Congo is doing today, what her life is like and whether the light has returned to her eyes. But for her sake, and for the sake of all other girls and women in the world, I want to call on everyone reading this to join us on this endeavour.

Let us remove the obstacles to gender equality, one at a time. Let us dismantle the structures that subordinate women. Let us do what we can to make the world a little bit fairer, a little bit more gender-equal. Let us show that equal rights for women can be part of any culture in this diverse world.

___________

Margot Wallström is Sweden’s foreign minister. She was the first United Nations Special Representative on Sexual Violence in Conflict from 2010 to 2012. Ms Wallström initiated the country’s “feminist foreign policy,” which makes the promotion of gender equality a top priority for Sweden’s Foreign Ministry and embassies.

Afghan asylum seekers resort to sex work in Athens

2017-01-17

In the rundown Pedion Areos Park, older men walk slowly by young asylum seekers before agreeing on a price for sex.

Athens, Greece – Mahmoud looks out over the chaotic mess of rooftops and aerials and towards the neglected park he now calls home. He’s wearing a red hoodie, blue jeans and a black cap. Everything suggests he is a typical 20-year-old, apart perhaps from the jagged scar on his brow. 

“I am ashamed about what I do for money, but I will tell you,” he says.

The Afghan asylum seeker clasps his hands tightly in front of him as he speaks. “I didn’t know anyone when I arrived in Athens,” he begins. “Life was very difficult and it still is. I don’t have a home so I sleep every night in a park nearby.

“I had only two options when I arrived – one was to become a thief or a drug dealer,” Mahmoud explains. “But I am not that kind of person.

“The other option was to stay in the park and have sex with older men, or anyone … that asked for it for five or 10 euros [around $5 and $10] ….”

His only shelter is a cheap tent that he shares with an Iranian asylum seeker. Perched on the concrete roof of a small maintenance building hidden among the trees of Pedion Areos Park, it offers little protection from the cold. A bag of oranges provides breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Mahmoud says the money he makes selling sex only covers the cost of his daily food. He cannot afford to save anything.

He speaks regretfully about his work but sees no way out.

“This is my only source of money now,” he says. “I’ve made a mistake, and now I’m deep in this s***.”

But Mahmoud isn’t alone. Pedion Areos Park has become a hub of illegal male prostitution, sometimes involving refugees as young as 15. 

Greece has strict laws regulating prostitution. Sex workers must register, be aged over 18, legal residents in Greece and work in a licensed brothel. Despite this, illegal street prostitutes, who are often migrants and refugees, are estimated to outnumber licensed prostitutes by 20 to one.

Licensed sex workers have fortnightly sexual health checks and access to free treatment for sexually transmitted diseases. Unlicensed street sex workers, like Mahmoud, do not.

Shopping for sex

While the majority of Athens’ sex workers are female, Pedion Areos has long been a hot spot for male sex work.

The park, although grand and sprawling, has, like its inhabitants, been largely ignored. The large statue of King Constantine I that stands at its entrance has been covered with graffiti. Used condoms and tissues litter the ground.  

Those familiar with the park say that the majority of the sex workers there are Albanian, Bulgarian and Romanian.

Neno, a Bulgarian Roma, arrived in Athens eight years ago and has been a sex worker in the park ever since. He says he doesn’t particularly mind the work, but that it doesn’t pay well.

“A lot of people hate this job, they don’t want to be here,” he says. “For me, it’s OK. I don’t have a problem with it. Just the money isn’t good.”

Neno isn’t homeless. He lives in a small town to the southeast of Athens which is popular with tourists, and takes the bus into the capital each weekday. The bus stops directly outside the park.

At the weekends, he makes a little extra money playing guitar in tavernas along the coast.  

For Neno, being a sex worker is a job like any other. For Mahmoud and the park’s other homeless residents, it is a desperate attempt to survive. They spend their mornings waiting and warming themselves by fires started in steel cans, into which they put anything that will burn, often producing a choking smoke. 

“The Greek guys [clients] don’t come in the day because they think they might get caught,” Mahmoud explains. “They wait until later to come to the park, when they’ll be safer.”

Business begins in the late afternoon as the winter sun starts to set and the few dog-walkers and runners leave the park. Their busiest time is from dusk until midnight, when the majority of those in the park are sex workers or their clients. 

As the light in the park fades, middle-aged men walk slowly past benches on which young men and boys sit, as though perusing shop windows. By now, a different demographic has arrived: unaccompanied minors, refugees who have been orphaned, are travelling alone or have been separated from their family during the journey, and see the park as a place to make money.

“The main issue is that they have no money, either for their daily lives or to pay for a smuggler,” explains Kenneth Hansen, the programme manager at Faros, an NGO that runs a shelter for unaccompanied minors close to the park.

“Some of them have told [us] that they have sex with men in order to do other things, to have money to go and buy a new phone,” he says.

“One boy told us he had sex with two men and got five euros [$5] so he could buy cigarettes … One guy told us he had sex with a man so he could pay to have sex with a woman.”

The clients are always Greek, explains Mahmoud. Most are in their 60s, but some can be as young as 30; others as old as 90. “You see men of all ages [buying sex],” he says. “Some are young men and some look like they might die the next day.”

Some of the sex workers are clearly on familiar terms with the clients, laughing and chatting openly with the ones they recognise. Others, often the younger ones, sit awkwardly, saying little. 

“Usually the men see me in the park, they come closer to me then ask me, ‘Where are you from?'” says Mahmoud. “I’ve learned a bit of Greek so I understand and we speak a bit. Then they sit down next to me and that’s how it starts.”

Once a price has been agreed, they move somewhere more private – but that usually just means going behind a bush a few metres away.

The clients

Costas is 46 and has good job at a logistics company. Most evenings after work, he goes home to his apartment in a suburb of Athens, where he lives alone. But three or four evenings a month he changes his clothes and drives to the park to look for sex.

His routine has been the same for 10 years, he explains.

“It’s easy to find sex here,” he says. “I normally stay for about an hour before I find someone to go with.”

He is familiar with two or three of the sex workers at the park whom he knows by name and sees regularly. Five euros is the going rate, he says, regardless of nationality.

Costas insists that he never has sex with refugees or anyone under the age of 18. That would be “wrong”, he says. But he does acknowledge that he can’t be sure about the age or nationality of those he does have sex with.

Only his closest friends know about his visits to the park, he says.

Yiorgos says he is 52 but he looks much older. He lives an hour away but comes to visit a friend who lives near the park three times a week. They go for coffee and, on his way home, Yiorgos walks through the park, looking for sex workers.

“[The sex workers] are 17, 18, 20, 30, 50, it depends,” he says. “The day before, there was one that was 16, small,” he adds, before looking around nervously. “They should be 18,” he admits. A sex worker in their 20s could have sex five times a night, earning up to 50 euros, he explains.

He doesn’t believe that what he does is wrong. “If I steal, it’s a problem. But I don’t steal. Neither do I fight …. If I fight or steal, yes, the police will come. But if not, they don’t come. What could they tell me? All they can do is ask me why I am sitting here. Is it wrong?” he says. 

Prices vary, explains Tassos Smetopoulos, a volunteer who organises a weekly food donation in the park. “In Pedion Areos, it starts from five euros [$5] and goes to 200 [$213],” he says. 

“Some of [the clients] say to the boys, ‘OK, you can come to my apartment, to have a little party. Some friends of mine will be there too. You can stay the night.’ Something like this can go up to 200 euros [$213]. It depends on what they’re asking and what the boys accept.”

In search of a better life

Shortly after the US-led invasion of Afghanistan, Mahmoud, who was then five, left his native Herat with his family. “My father went first before us and then the rest of our family followed him,” he says.

“Everybody in Afghanistan then who wanted to seek a good life usually went to Iran, so that’s what we chose to do.”

In Iran, his family lived on the margins, unable to find legal work once their temporary residence permit, which they couldn’t afford to renew, had expired. After five years of schooling, Mahmoud started working to support his family.

At 15, he left Iran ahead of his family to search for work opportunities in Turkey.

“I stayed for five years in Turkey working on a construction site, trying to earn some money and to organise my trip to Greece,” he says.

But so far, he hasn’t found the greater opportunities he had hoped for in Europe.

“If I find any way at all, I want to go to Germany because I know some people there. Maybe I could find a good job,” he says. “I would leave as soon as possible if I just found the road and some money to get there.

“I’ve tried many times to go [illegally] to Italy from Patra, hiding under a truck, but it never worked,” he adds.

He says he’s tried the official, legal routes for asylum in Greece, which would enable him to live and work legally in the country.

“I’ve tried to claim asylum but I can’t. It’s very hard. Many times I’ve been to [the asylum office] but I never get a meeting. They always say I have to wait.”

Using a mobile phone borrowed from a friend, Mahmoud speaks to his family in Iran at least twice a week. He gives them updates on his journey but never tells them the truth about his life in Athens.

“I tell them Athens is a good city, with nice people, but really, it’s like someone has injected this city with filth,” he says.

‘It is going on in front of our eyes and no one is doing anything’

Mahmoud says there are no pimps operating in the park and that it is only the asylum seekers’ desperate situation that forces them into sex work. But Hansen believes that not enough is being done to investigate whether anyone is behind it.

“Many [young refugees] are involved in sex for money,” he says. “But whether they do it for survival sex, or just to get an allowance, or if it is more organised, this we don’t entirely know and it’s an area the authorities don’t really want to touch.

“It’s taking place so obviously. You can just go to the park and solicit a 15-year-old … It is going on in front of our eyes and no one is really doing anything.”

In November, Greek police told CNN that “they had not had any reports of unaccompanied minors involved in the sex trade in [Pedion Areos or Victoria Square],” but said they were “aware of the problem and working to address it”.

The office of the Prosecutor for Juveniles, which is responsible for unaccompanied minors in Greece, told Al Jazeera that it had begun an investigation in December into the issue but that the investigation was ongoing. They declined to answer any further questions about it.

Mahmoud says that uniformed police officers sometimes patrol the park, but that evading them has been easy so far. “When the police come, if they come, we just go into the bushes and hide and they don’t know we are there.”

* The names of sex workers and clients have been changed to protect their identity

Source: Al Jazeera News

Here is how excessive porn is bad for you

2016-12-07

According to science, consistently watching porn can lead to erectile dysfunction, sorry to be bearer of the bad news.

We all know that this is probably true. This is one news I hoped that I wouldn’t write but the truth is watching porn can adversely affect your sexual health especially for the guy.

And you don’t have to take my word for it. Dr. Andrew Smiler, a masculinity expert believes that men get erectile dysfunction after constantly beating one too many to porn. Your right hand or left hand whichever you prefer totally gets you and this might feel like the best and sometimes even feel better than sex, especially because you’re doing it to a porn, and those are might unrealistic, especially with how unrealistic they can be compared to the actual sex that you’re having.

“The guys I see, most of them are between 13 and 25. The vast majority are, for the most part, the picture of physical health,” he told The Independent, he insinuated that watching porn can lead to limp dick and depressed men according to Zeynep Yenisey, Maxim.

Maximizing the potential of a new HIV prevention method: PrEP

2016-11-04

Pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP)most often a combination of tenofovir and emtricitabine taken orally as a daily tabletis extremely effective at preventing HIV infection when taken regularly.

The choice of PrEP is recommended for people who are HIV-negative but at high risk of becoming infected. The people who can benefit most from PrEPincluding gay men and other men who have sex with men, transgender people, sex workers, serodiscordant couples before the partner living with HIV becomes virally suppressed and young women and girls in the areas of sub-Saharan Africa most affected by HIVare located where there are high rates of untreated HIV and inconsistent condom use.

People starting on PrEP must be HIV-negative and undergo repeat HIV testing every three months. The side-effects of taking PrEP are usually mild and short-lived. The risk of developing resistance to PrEP medicines is extremely low, as long as the person is confirmed to be HIV-negative when starting PrEP.

In the past two years, PrEP roll-out has moved quickly. It is estimated that in October 2016 around 100 000 people were using PrEP in more than 30 countries, with the majority of users in the United States of America. The UNAIDS target is for there to be 3 million people on PrEP worldwide by 2020.

There are now active national PrEP programmes in Australia, France, Kenya, Norway, South Africa and the United States. Botswana is pursuing regulatory approval and creating an implementation plan, while Thailand and Zimbabwe are among other countries producing guidelines for PrEP roll-out. In addition, more than 20 projects around the world are exploring the use of PrEP.

However, even where there is an existing national programme, PrEP uptake is unequal and the people who would benefit most do not always gain access. Many activists in the AIDS response continue to criticize this inequality. “PrEP is powerful, it has to reach the disempowered,” said Nel Gordon of the Human Rights Campaign.

PrEP adds to the package of proven prevention options already available. PrEP should be used in conjunction with other prevention methods, such as male and female condoms, voluntary medical male circumcision and antiretroviral therapy for all people living with HIV. When antiretroviral therapy is effective in a person living with HIV, the virus becomes undetectable in the person’s blood and the risk of transmitting the virus to a partner approaches zero. No single HIV prevention method is 100% protective and PrEP does not prevent other sexually transmitted infections or prevent unintended pregnancy. Condoms remain the most widely available and affordable HIV prevention tool and as such should always be promoted along with PrEP.

The benefits of choosing PrEP can be psychological as well as physical and the use of PrEP may counter the anxiety and isolation felt by some people who feel they lack the ability to control their risk of exposure to HIV. PrEP can give people more autonomy about their sexual decision-making, which may also include risk reduction. PrEP may promote improved communication and intimacy with a partner, reduced fear of intimate partner violence, raised self-esteem and greater engagement with all aspects of sexual health.

Offering PrEP can encourage more people at the highest risk of HIV to attend HIV clinics, undergo HIV testing and access either PrEP or treatment depending on the test result. Either way, the outcome is good for the individual and good for HIV prevention.

PrEP gives us one more tool that we can use to better tailor the prevention package to each person’s individual needs, which can change over time. PrEP is not for everyone and is not for ever. Routine PrEP follow-up involves regular review of broader sexual health, including the diagnosis and treatment of sexually transmitted infections and discussion of appropriate combination HIV prevention strategies and contraception, as appropriate.

Sexual Identity and Children

2016-09-21

Posted by Ian Kerner, Ph.D., LMFT

Are younger people more likely to embrace their sexual identity? That’s the implication of findings from a recent large Gallup survey.

The survey, which asked 120,000 American adults whether they identified as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender, found that 6.4% of people aged 18 to 29 said they were LGBT: about three times more than people over age 65.

But do results like these indicate that younger adults are more likely to be LGBT, or are they simply more likely to acknowledge it? It’s probably the latter, say my colleagues.

“These numbers might reflect a generational change in social acceptance for LGBT identities,” said psychotherapist Jean Malpas, director of the Gender and Family Project at the New York-based Ackerman Institute for the Family. “Today’s youth and young adults, at least in some communities, are gradually more comfortable being open about their sexual and gender identities.”

Another potential reason for the increase in self-identified LGBT youth is the influence of a new generation of parents who embody a positive attitude and wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Today’s millennial parents are more than just accepting of their children’s sexual identity. They’re comfortable and embracing of it, too,” said Ron Taffel, psychologist and author of the book “Childhood Unbound.” “They want to actively support and engage their children through communication about all aspects of their lives.”

Research, including this survey, also suggests that young women may be more likely than men to identify as bisexual.

“The pattern across surveys is that men are more likely to identify as gay, whereas women are more likely to identify as bisexual,” explained social psychologist Justin Lehmiller. “We don’t know exactly why this is, but many psychologists believe it results from women’s sexuality being somewhat more ‘flexible’ or ‘fluid’ and men’s sexuality being somewhat more ‘fixed.’ “

Many other young people are eschewing traditional descriptors for sexuality and gender completely.

“There’s been a lot of work done on how LGBT youth is more and more frequently rejecting labels altogether, blurring the lines between sexual orientation and gender, creating new labels and identifying as gender-queer, gender-fluid or pansexual, to name a few,” said sex therapist Margie Nichols. “The very term ‘LGBT’ is too confining now, which is why I prefer the term Gender and Sexual Diversity, or GSD.”

That term could also include the 1% of people who identify as asexual, which means they aren’t sexually attracted to anyone.

“While we’re creating space for a variety of sexual identities, we also need to create space for non-sexual identities,” said college sex educator Emily Nagoski.

Indeed, many of the experts I spoke to expressed frustration that Gallup and other surveys limit the options from which a respondent can choose.

“The terms lesbian, gay and bisexual just don’t capture all sexual minority identities,” Lehmiller said.

Nichols agrees. “These studies are missing a tremendous opportunity by not including an ‘other’ category. It’s a shame, because the ‘other’ category is the wave of the future.”

Separate from sexual identity is gender identity. While not addressed in the Gallup survey, experts say, this distinction is increasingly important, particularly for today’s youth.

“Gender nonconforming expression and identity are different from sexual orientation,” Malpas explained.

“Sexual orientation is about who you are attracted to and who you fall in love with. Gender expression and identity refer to the gender you feel comfortable expressing and identifying with, which might or might not be aligned with the biological sex you were assigned at birth.”

As transgender and gender-nonconforming children and teens become more visible, both in communities and in the media, parents are less likely to dismiss them.

“Only a decade ago, a parent would have probably answered ‘stop saying silly things’ to a 6-year-old son who insisted on being a girl,” Malpas added. “Today, the same parent will stop and think about the transgender children they’ve seen on TV or in magazines and may more readily inquire with professionals and other parents.”

More than just stop and think, they’ll also hopefully want to talk. Says Taffel, who specializes in breaking through to teens, “Open communication is a primary value for today’s parents, much more so than setting limits and rules, and the spirit of open communication trumps the content of any conversation.”

While it’s important not to confuse gender and sexual identity, parents can take a similar approach in discussing them with their kids.

“Of course, you should reassure the child of your love, but you’ll also want to find ways to expose your child to others like him or her so the child doesn’t feel different or alone,” Nichols suggested. “Allow yourself to experience mixed or negative feelings if you have them, and consider joining a support group. You’ve also got to be prepared to be your child’s advocate with schools, neighbors and community activities.”

I find the survey results very encouraging, as they indicate not just a shift of differences in human sexuality toward the mainstream but also suggest that the future is promising for people who don’t fit into “the norm.”

“We’re evolving, culturally, beyond the need to impose rules on who’s allowed to do what with their genitals and their hearts,” Nagoski said. “This new generation of young people understands that love is love, that people are people and that the freedom to experience joy and mutually consensual pleasure is a birthright.”