Category Archives: Sexual Health

What a Workout! Women Report that Exercise Triggers Orgasm

What a Workout! Women Report that Exercise Triggers Orgasm

2012-03-22

Up to 15% of women apparently experience orgasm as a fringe benefit of physical exertion. Crunches, anyone?

Here’s one way to make workouts more palatable: combine exercise with orgasm.

It sounds like a pornographic fitness flick: women, sweaty from physical exertion, climaxing at the gym. But researchers at Indiana University say it really happens — independent of sex or fantasies. They’ve even got a name for it: “coregasm,” named thusly because abdominal exercises tend to spark the sensation.

In a survey distributed via the Internet, researchers asked women if they’d ever experienced exercise-induced orgasms (EIO) — 124 responded yes — or exercise-induced sexual pleasure (EISP); 246 had. Women were questioned about the types of exercises in which they were engaged at the time of orgasm, if the phenomenon happened repeatedly and whether they could control it, among other things.

Since there’s next to no scientific literature about orgasm while exercising, researchers prompted survey respondents to provide as much detail as possible. They learned quite a bit, according to lead author Debby Herbenick, co-director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University.

Some women said they couldn’t help but make sounds during orgasm, which added to their feelings of self-consciousness. One woman wrote about biking strenuously uphill when she felt an orgasm coming on; embarrassed, she tried to hide it from her biking partner. According to the study:

“I had to really grind into the pedals. This must have caused me to rub on the seat in just the right away. I thought I was starting to cramp, but soon realized it felt great. [I] thought I should stop, but chose not to!”

Another woman described literally falling off a piece of gym equipment; one more recalled an errant medicine ball flying across the gym after she lost control. “Some talked about this happening as children during the Presidential fitness challenge, during pull-ups or chin-ups,” says Herbenick.

The research was published online Monday in a special issue of Sexual and Relationship Therapy. What’s so special about this issue? It’s all about orgasm: there are papers about tantra and orgasm, about non-genital kinds of orgasms deriving from mental fantasy, as well as criticisms about a perceived superiority complex surrounding vaginal orgasm. Says Herbenick: “It’s a very interesting issue.”

Herbenick’s contribution finds that exercise-induced orgasm is not of the wham-bam variety. In other words, don’t expect good vibrations from your first sit-up. “It’s often on number 15 or number 30,” says Herbenick.

Nor is what induces orgasm during exercise clear from this study. Most respondents said they weren’t daydreaming about sex at all. The catalyst seems to be the exertion itself, with abdominal exercises appearing to trigger the reaction in 51% of respondents. (The top orgasm generator in this category was the “captain’s chair,” a contraption in which the user supports her arms and back against a frame while the legs dangle, and she repeatedly raises her legs into a sitting position.) The next most likely culprits? Weight lifting, yoga, bicycling, running and walking or hiking.

Some women can induce orgasm by engaging in exercises that have previously yielded the big O; 40% of respondents reported they’d experienced orgasm or sexual pleasure while exercising more than 10 times. Others actively try to avoid climaxing in public; after all, it can be pretty mortifying. Yet even if it’s never happened to you, devoting some brain cells to its mystery and allure can serve as an excellent distraction during a workout. “Once you know about it,” observes Herbenick, “it is sometimes interesting to think about and wonder if others are experiencing it too.”

We know who’s not experiencing it: men. Sorry, guys, but this one’s (mostly) for the ladies. While Herbenick has heard of men orgasming during exercise, she says it’s far rarer. Even among the fairer sex, it’s fairly uncommon. Herbenick estimates that up to 15% of women have the uncanny and perhaps enviable ability to orgasm while exercising, a form of multitasking I’d never heard of before her research landed in my inbox. When I requested an interview with the author, an email response arrived with impeccable timing — just as I was winding up my morning boot-camp session. Alas, no fireworks.

Bonnie Rochman is a reporter at TIME. Find her on Twitter at @brochman. You can also continue the discussion on TIME’s Facebook page and on Twitter at @TIME.

Vaccines for Adults: What You Should Know

Vaccines for Adults: What You Should Know

2012-03-21

In 2006 when the FDA approved the first human papillomavirus (HPV) vaccine, it was big news. The new HPV vaccination made headlines at the time, which wasn’t surprising considering that it was the very first vaccine approved to prevent cancer — cervical cancer, to be exact.

Even though the HPV vaccine have now been around for a few years, not everyone knows exactly what it is, or what it does. You might be wondering: How does it work? Is it safe? Should you or your child get it?

So you can be more confident when you talk to your doctor about the HPV vaccine, here are answers to these and other common questions about the vaccine.
What Is HPV?

HPV stands for human papillomavirus. It’s a virus that can be transmitted through sexual contact. During intercourse or oral sex, HPV can make its way into the genitals, mouth, or throat and cause infection.

Sexually transmitted HPV comes in more than 40 different varieties. The type of the virus you get determines what effects it has on your body. Certain types of HPV cause genital warts. Other HPV types can make cells turn cancerous. You’ve probably heard that HPV causes cervical cancer, but it also causes less common cancers of the vulva, vagina, penis, anus, head, and neck.

What’s tricky about HPV is that it doesn’t have symptoms. There’s no sore throat or fever to let you know you’ve been infected. Most people clear the infection on their own. In fact, you might have absolutely no idea you’ve been infected until you develop genital warts or have an abnormal Pap test.

Though HPV might not be as well known among sexually transmitted infections (STIs) as herpes or syphilis, it is actually the most common STI. If you’re sexually active, you’ve got about a 50/50 chance of being infected with HPV at some point in your life. That’s why immunization is so important.
There are two HPV vaccines; what’s the difference?

Two vaccines are available to protect females against the types of HPV that cause most cervical cancers. One of these vaccines also protects men and women against most genital warts. Whichever of these vaccines you and your doctor choose, you should stick with the same vaccine for all three shots.
Do I have to get the HPV vaccine?

The HPV vaccine is an important way for women to protect themselves against cervical cancer, which kills about 4,000 women each year in the U.S. It can also protect both men and women against genital warts. However, vaccination doesn’t protect against all HPV types that cause cervical cancers or genital warts. Whether you have to get vaccinated depends on your age and where you live. In certain states, girls within the recommended ages may need to get the HPV vaccine in order to go to school.

When should I get the HPV immunization?

The best time to get the HPV vaccine is before you’ve started having sexual activity. That’s why the CDC recommends that girls get their vaccination at age 11 or 12, although they can get the vaccine as early as age 9. If you’re 13 or older and you haven’t already been vaccinated, you can still get the vaccine up to age 26.

Although HPV vaccination is not on the recommended immunization schedules for boys and young men, they can get the Gardasil vaccine between ages 9 and 26 to protect them against genital warts.
If I’m over age 26, can I still get vaccinated?

The HPV vaccine isn’t recommended for people over age 26, because it hasn’t been studied well enough in this age group. If enough future studies show that it is safe and effective for people over 26, the FDA may eventually start recommending it for this age group.
How many shots do I need?

You’ll get three shots of the HPV vaccine over a 6-month period. You need to take all three doses to be completely protected. You’ll get the second shot about 1 to 2 months after the first, and the third shot 6 months after the first. Once you’ve started with a vaccine brand (Cervarix or Gardasil), stick with it for all three shots.
If I already have HPV, will this vaccine treat it?

No. If you have a current HPV, the vaccine won’t get rid of the infection. However, if you have one type of HPV the vaccine may prevent you from getting another type of the virus. There’s really no way to treat the virus once you have it, although there are treatments for diseases caused by HPV such as genital warts and genital cancers. This is why you should have regular pelvic exams and Pap tests (if you’re female) to screen for cervical cancer.
Does the HPV vaccine protect me for life?

You should be protected against HPV for at least 5 years; that’s how long the vaccine has been tested to work in studies. Longer-term research is needed to confirm exactly how much longer the protection lasts. Even women who are protected against HPV with the vaccine should see their gynecologist regularly for a Pap test to check for cervical cancer since the vaccine doesn’t protect against all HPV types that can cause cervical cancer.
Will my insurance cover the cost of the HPV vaccine?

Most insurance plans cover recommended vaccines, which means that if you’re a girl or woman ages 11 to 26, your insurance should pay for the vaccine. Check with your insurance company just to be sure. If your family doesn’t have health insurance or you’re on Medicaid, you should be able to get the HPV vaccine for free through the Vaccines for Children (VFC) program.

Is this vaccination safe?

Vaccines have to be rigorously tested before they can be widely distributed. Both HPV vaccines were tested on thousands of people and shown to be safe before they were released to the public. These vaccines have been used for several years now, and experts say the chance of them causing a serious reaction is very slim. You don’t need to worry about mercury or thimerosal with the HPV vaccine, either. It doesn’t contain these preservatives.
Is there any reason why I shouldn’t get this vaccine?

Some people shouldn’t get the vaccine. You definitely don’t want to get the HPV vaccine if you’ve had a serious allergic reaction to it or to any of its components, including baker’s yeast and latex. Let your doctor know if you have any severe allergies. Also talk to your doctor if you have an immune system problem or blood disorder.

If you’re pregnant, you’ll want to wait to get the HPV vaccine until after your baby is born. In studies, HPV vaccines didn’t cause any problems in babies whose mothers got the vaccine while pregnant, but pregnant women should not get HPV vaccine as safety studies are still ongoing.
Could I have side effects from the HPV vaccine?

You could have side effects, but if you do they should be mild. Most people who complain of symptoms after getting the HPV shot have minor issues like pain or swelling at the site of the shot, fever, headache, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, abdominal pain, or muscle and joint pain.

Sometimes people faint after getting the HPV vaccine or any other vaccination. Sitting down after getting the shot can prevent you from passing out.
If I get the HPV vaccine, is there a chance I could get HPV?

No. The part of the HPV virus used in both vaccines is inactivated (not live) so it can’t cause actual HPV infection.

How Low Testosterone Affects Health, Mood, and Sex

How Low Testosterone Affects Health, Mood, and Sex

Low Testosterone and Sex Drive

Testosterone isn’t the only fuel for a man’s sex drive and performance. But low testosterone can reduce your ability to have satisfying sex. Lack of sex drive and erectile dysfunction are sexual problems that can result from low testosterone. If low testosterone is the cause, treating it can help.
Testosterone and the Causes of Low Libido

Researchers haven’t unraveled the mystery of just how testosterone increases libido. It’s normal for a man’s sex drive to slowly decline from its peak in his teens and 20s, but libido varies widely between men. What one man might consider a low sex drive, another might not. Also, sex drive changes within each man over time and is affected by stress, sleep, and opportunities for sex. For these reasons, defining what’s a “normal” sex drive is next to impossible. Usually, the man himself identifies a lack of sex drive as a problem. Other times, his partner may consider it to be an issue.

Low testosterone symptoms don’t always include feeling like you have no sex drive. Some men maintain sexual desire at relatively low testosterone levels. For other men, libido may lag even with normal testosterone levels. Low testosterone is one of the possible causes of low libido, however. If testosterone is lowered far enough, virtually all men will experience some decline in sex drive.

In a large study of men in Massachusetts, about 11% overall said they had a lack of sex drive. The researchers then tested all the men’s testosterone levels. About 28% of men with low testosterone had low libido. These men were relatively young, with an average age of 47; older men might have worse sexual symptoms.

Low testosterone is only one of the causes of low libido. Stress, sleep deprivation, depression, and chronic medical illnesses can also sap a man’s sex drive.
Low Testosterone and Erectile Dysfunction

Surprisingly, low testosterone by itself rarely causes erectile dysfunction, or ED. Low testosterone alone — with no other health problems — accounts for a small minority of men with erectile dysfunction.

Erection problems are usually caused by atherosclerosis — hardening of the arteries. If damaged, the tiny blood vessels supplying the penis can no longer dilate to bring in the strong flow needed for a firm erection. Diabetes, high blood pressure, and high cholesterol are the three main causes of atherosclerosis and erectile dysfunction.

At the same time, low testosterone is a frequent accomplice to atherosclerosis in creating erectile dysfunction. In studies, as many as one in three men mentioning ED to their doctor have low testosterone. Experts believe that in men with other factors causing erectile dysfunction, low testosterone can strongly contribute, making a difficult situation even worse.

Strengthening the connection, low testosterone is linked in some way with many of the conditions that lead to erectile dysfunction:

Metabolic syndrome
Obesity
Endothelial dysfunction
Diabetes

Although low testosterone isn’t known to cause them, the associations between other medical conditions and low testosterone can be significant.

Testosterone therapy improves sex drive and satisfaction with sex in many men. However, the long-term risks and benefits of testosterone replacement are unknown. Research trials on testosterone replacement in men are ongoing, although results are years away.

Add Inches!! (No, Really, Men Can Make It Longer)

Add Inches!! (No, Really, Men Can Make It Longer)

2012-03-13

Don’t worry, you didn’t just accidentally click on spam email. Though most advertised penis-enlargement methods are bogus, a new review of 10 existing studies suggests that some non-surgical techniques really can increase the length of a man’s organ.

Two urological researchers, Marco Ordera and Paolo Gontero of the University of Turin in Italy, examined outcomes from both surgical and non-surgical procedures for “male enhancement” in previous studies. Half of the studies involved surgical procedures performed on 121 men; the other half involved non-surgical enhancement techniques used by 109 men. (More on TIME.com: Ginseng + Saffron = Good Sex? Aphrodisiacs Found in Common Spices)

The surgical treatments, the researchers found, were dangerous and had “unacceptably high rate of complications.” But among the non-surgical methods, at least one appeared to help grow a man’s member: the “traction method,” in which a penile extender stretched the phallus daily, resulted in average growth of 0.7 inches (of the flaccid penis) in one study. In another study of the same method, men reported an average increase of 0.9 inches in length while flaccid, and 0.67 inches while erect.

These gains were hard earned: in the first study, participants had to be in traction for four to six hours each day for a total four months, and in the second study, the daily treatment lasted for six months. (More on TIME.com: The Case for Letting Your Partner’s Eye Wander)

In another study of two erectile dysfunction patients, researchers found that the use of peno-scrotal rings, which fit around the scrotum and base of the penis, helped beef up size and maintain erection. But given the tiny sample size (of the study), the results were inconclusive.

Reviewed data also suggested that a six-month regimen of daily penis pumping — using a pump to create a vacuum inside a cylinder to stretch the penis (think Austin Powers) — while painful, was not effective.

No matter the procedure, penis girth remained unchanged.

So it’s worth asking, Guys, do you really need a bigger penis? Most men who seek treatment for the condition called “short penis” actually fall within normal penis size, the researchers found; their sense of what’s normal is simply warped. To qualify for the clinical definition of short penis syndrome, a man must be smaller than 1.6 inches when limp and under 3 inches when erect. In a 2005 study of 92 men who sought treatment for short penis, researchers found that none qualified for the syndrome. (More on TIME.com: Infrequent Sex or Exercise Can Trigger Heart Attacks)

Ironically, the problem may be associated with the same source of so many women’s feelings of inadequacy: porn. And, in the end, men seem to care about it a lot more than women do. According to sex counselor Ian Kerner, who guest posts on CNN’s The Chart blog:

If penis size really is an issue, it seems to matter more to men than to women. According to the British Journal of Urology, when researchers looked at more than 50 studies spanning the course of 60 years, they found that 85% of women were satisfied with their partner’s penis size — yet only 55% of men felt good about their penises!

That’s a big difference in perception, and in my personal opinion, this sense of male insecurity is only likely to increase in the wake of Internet porn. That’s because research shows that more than a third of men who incorrectly believe their penises are too small say their insecurity began by viewing erotic images during their teen years.

That’s not to say that size doesn’t matter at all. Kerner reports that “when pressed, the majority of women (according to a 2001 survey in BMC Women’s Health) say that penis circumference (girth) is more important for pleasure than penis length.” Unfortunately, there’s no pump or extender that can help you in that department.

Like they say, it’s the size of your skills not your sex organ that matters. (More on TIME.com: Study: Baldness Drug May Lead to Long-Term Sexual Dysfunction)

The current study was published in the journal of the British Association of Urological Surgeons.

Read more: http://healthland.time.com/2011/04/22/add-inches-no-really-men-can-make-it-longer/?iid=obinsite#ixzz1oyvb5sz1

Circumcision: The Surgery That May Lower Prostate-Cancer Risk

Circumcision: The Surgery That May Lower Prostate-Cancer Risk

A new study suggests that men who are circumcised before their first sexual encounter may be less likely to develop prostate cancer later on.

As the study reports, sexually transmitted infections (STIs) are commonly linked to prostate cancer, since these conditions cause inflammation of the prostate — which makes it vulnerable to abnormal growth of cells. Circumcision, doctors theorize, could inhibit this cancer-causing pathway by getting rid of the foreskin that can harbor infections.

In the study, researchers from the University of Washington looked at surveys and medical records of 1,754 men with prostate cancer and 1,645 men without the disease. They found that those who were circumcised before they had sex for the first time were 15% less likely to develop prostate cancer than their uncircumcised counterparts. They were also 18% less likely to develop more-aggressive forms of the cancer.

The authors write:

The moist environment under the preputial skin may help pathogens survive for extended periods prior to direct infection. Combining the finding of a relationship between a history of STIs and [prostate cancer] risk along with a reduction in STIs in circumcised men has led to the hypothesis that circumcision might reduce [prostate cancer] development by decreasing prostatic exposure to infectious agents.

But that doesn’t mean that parents who do not circumcise their sons are putting their boys at risk for cancer. In fact, the American Academy of Pediatrics does not recommend routine circumcision, since the operation can cause complications and there isn’t strong enough evidence of the operation’s benefits to support those risks. The current results only highlight a correlation between the procedure and a lower risk of the disease, not a cause-and-effect relationship.

For now, the results are a first step toward better understanding the various factors that contribute to prostate cancer. Exposure to STIs, and the role that circumcision may play in lowering risk of those infections, might be an important component of the cancer, but it’s too early to label circumcision as a way to combat it. “That would be a huge jump,” Dr. Louis Kavoussi, chairman of urology at North Shore-LIJ Health System, told WebMD. “There are good reasons to get circumcised, but prostate-cancer prevention is not one of them.”

Which means that parents debating whether to circumcise their newborn baby boys still have a difficult decision to make about whether the operation is a good idea. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention have not released recommendations for male circumcision but say that regardless of public-health recommendations, the decision will always be voluntary.

“At the end of the day, we feel there’s risks and benefits, and it’s up to the parents to decide what is in the best interests of their child,” Dr. Andrew Freedman, a pediatric urologist and member of the circumcision task force at the American Academy of Pediatrics, told MSNBC.

The new study was published online in the American Cancer Society journal Cancer.

Read more: http://healthland.time.com/2012/03/12/circumcision-the-surgery-that-can-lower-prostate-cancer-risk/#ixzz1oytuCzua

Why women moan during sex

Why women moan during sex

2012-03-09

All you have to do is watch nearly any depiction of female orgasm on screen to get an idea of how a woman is “supposed” to react during sex.

From “When Harry Met Sally” to “Sex and the City” to your basic porn film, women in the throes of passion aren’t just shouting their ecstasy from the rooftops – they’re moaning with pleasure. Loudly.

But is this just cinematic license, or is there really something to noisy sex?

Experts wondered the same thing. Last year, Gayle Brewer of the University of Central Lancashire and Colin Hendrie of the University of Leeds published their research on the topic – technically known as “copulatory vocalization” – in the Archives of Sexual Behavior. In the study, they asked 71 sexually active heterosexual women between ages 18 and 48 for more details about vocalization during sex.

The researchers found that many of the women did make noise, but not necessarily while they were having an orgasm. Instead, 66% said that they moaned to speed up their partner’s climax, and 87% stated that they vocalized during sex to boost his self-esteem.

Are female orgasms really just a ‘bonus’?

“While female orgasms were most commonly experienced during foreplay, copulatory vocalizations were reported to be made most often before and simultaneously with male ejaculation,” write the researchers. Women also reported making noise to relieve boredom, fatigue and pain/discomfort during sex.

So is female vocalization during sex just a performance for a guy’s benefit? (After all, Meg Ryan’s over-the-top moans were meant to prove a point to “Harry” that men are easily duped by a fake orgasm.)

“There isn’t a lot of research in this area,” says Kristen Mark, a sexuality researcher at Indiana University, “but we’re bombarded with images through mainstream media that tell us moaning is associated with orgasm and sexual pleasure. So it would be a fairly wise faking strategy to moan since men already tend to associate moaning with orgasm.”

Of course, there’s nothing smart about faking it.

“If you’re faking an orgasm, you are signaling to your partner that he is doing everything right, when in fact he isn’t,” says sex educator and author Patty Brisben. “Use moaning as a way of signaling that you are excited and things really are feeling good, not as a way to hide that they aren’t.”

Fake or not, women aren’t the only primates who vocalize during sex. Research in the animal kingdom reveals that female baboons, for example, have a variety of copulation calls, which appear to relate to their fertility: The vocalizations tend to become more complex when the females are closer to ovulation, and also vary when a female is mating with a higher-ranked male baboon. And female macaque monkeys give a shout to help trigger their mates’ orgasm, too.

Performances and primatologists aside, vocalizing during sex can actually be a great tool to help women get what they want in bed. As I discussed in my column a couple of weeks ago on the topic of talking about sex, it isn’t always easy to translate sexual thought into action, so a little strategic moaning can definitely help get the point across.

“Women are learning to take responsibility for their own sexual needs and wants in the bedroom,” explains Brisben. “We need to take this one step further and give ourselves permission to become teachers. Use vocalization to teach your partner what feels good. It can help you say, ‘stop, go, yes, more please’ – without sounding like a traffic cop.”

And when it comes to noise, “partner benefit isn’t the only piece of the puzzle,” says Kristen Mark. “Perhaps making noise turns some women on and helps them experience pleasure.”

Brisben concurs: “I think there are many women who need to be vocal to help themselves achieve orgasm – it helps move them and their orgasm along. There are certainly phases. As a woman gets into it, she may become extremely vocal, and then move into a period of quiet as she is on the verge.”

So do what feels right to you. Any other benefits are just a great bonus. And when it comes to “copulatory vocalization,” perhaps men should take a lesson from the ladies.

“Women understand that moaning is a turn-on for guys, and many women ultimately enjoy it because they’ve made an effort to push a little beyond what comes naturally,” says Logan Levkoff, a sex educator and author of a guide for men entitled “How To Get Your Wife to Have Sex With You.”

“But sexual self-esteem is a two-way street, and, for their part during sex, guys should aim for more than a single grunt at the end. It’s not about faking or doing something you don’t want to, but more about being sexually present and in sync with each other.”

So let’s all make some noise.
Post by: Ian Kerner Ph.D. – sex counselor

Are you sexually intelligent?

Are you sexually intelligent?

2012-03-06

What are the qualities that make a truly great lover?

Is it about being able to swing from chandeliers or knowing every page of the “Kama Sutra” by heart? Or are there deeper qualities to being “good in bed” that speak more to the spirit of our actions than their substance?

In his new book, “Sexual Intelligence,” Marty Klein, Ph.D – a renowned sex therapist with more than 30 years of experience – challenges readers to think about their sex lives as though they suddenly woke up in Russia tomorrow, without any knowledge of the language and only a handful of rubles in their pockets.

“To figure out what to do, you’d need more than knowledge – you would need intelligence,” he writes. “You’d need the ability to figure out what questions to ask, how to find people who can help you, how to make decisions in a different culture, and so on.

“That’s what sexual intelligence is like – not the ability to be great in bed, or to function the way you did when you were 22. Rather, sexual intelligence is expressed in the ability to create and maintain desire in a situation that’s less than perfect or comfortable; the capacity to adapt to your changing body; curiosity and open-mindedness about the meaning of pleasure, closeness, and satisfaction; and the ability to adjust when things don’t go as expected.”

Klein builds on his premise of sexual intelligence by offering us a beguilingly simple equation: sexual intelligence = information + emotional skills + body awareness.

Accurate information is indeed crucial. Many of us get our sexual information from all the wrong sources.

Young men too often rely on porn and tall tales of the locker room, or on the responses of women who are all-too willing to fake it rather than put their true desires in the foreground; whereas women often rely on the sound bytes that proliferate talk shows.

In terms of emotional skills, as I discussed in last week’s column, being able to communicate empathetically and honestly with a sexual partner is paramount, but many of us resign ourselves to sex lives of quiet desperation.

And I agree with Klein’s calculus that only by adding body awareness – not just of your own body, but also of your partner’s – can you hope to become truly sexually intelligent.

In my experience as a sex counselor, one way of cultivating all three of these qualities at once with a partner is through the practice of sensate focus exercises.

Developed by sex researchers William Masters and Virginia Johnson, these exercises, as the name implies, emphasize the focus on physical sensations.

In sensate focus, sex is initially taken off the table for couples, and then gradually reintroduced, one aspect at time, through a gradual process of touching, connection, and awareness, during which each partner takes turns as giver and receiver.

The object of these exercises is for partners to develop a heightened sense of sexual self-awareness and a keener understanding of what feels good to their partner.

People change. Relationships change. Why shouldn’t sex? And yet it’s the natural changes of the sexual life cycle that so many couples in long-term relationships find bedeviling — and that’s another reason why sexual intelligence is so important.

In her international best-seller “Mating in Captivity,” therapist and intellectual provocateur Esther Perel encourages readers to cultivate “erotic intelligence” and reconcile the need for what’s safe and predictable with the wish to pursue what’s exciting, mysterious and awe-inspiring.

“We are born sensuous; we become erotic. To cultivate the erotic is also to engage with sexuality as a quality of aliveness and vitality that extend beyond a mere repertoire of sexual techniques. We learn to play, be curious, engage with our imagination, anticipate. Erotic intelligence is our ability to bring novelty to the enduring, mystery to the familiar, and surprise to the known.”

Both Klein and Perel have authored important works that are not only apt for people of all ages, but can remain relevant on our bookshelves (or digital readers) throughout our lives as we age and adapt.

“Sexual intelligence is useful in different ways at different times of our life,” writes Klein. “In our 20s, in exploring the sexual world; in our 30s, in bonding with a partner and establishing a sexual rhythm; in our 40s, in tolerating and adapting to change; in our 50s, in saying goodbye to youthful sex; in our 60s and beyond, in creating a new sexual style,” writes Klein.

Now that’s really smart.
Post by: Ian Kerner Ph.D. – sex counselor

Penis Size: It May Be Written in the Length of His Fingers

Penis Size: It May Be Written in the Length of His Fingers

2012-03-05

The ratio of the length of a man’s index finger to that of his ring finger may seem like a strange thing to measure, but new research suggests that it’s linked with penis size. The lower the ratio, the longer the penis.

The new study was conducted on 144 Korean men who were hospitalized for urological surgery. A researcher measured the patients’ penile length — flaccid and stretched — just after they went under anesthesia for their operations. A different researcher measured the men’s finger lengths, in order to prevent knowledge of one measurement unconsciously affecting the other.

They data suggested that those with a lower ratio, whose index finger (or second finger, 2D) was shorter than the ring finger (or fourth finger, 4D), had a longer stretched penis length, which is well correlated with erect size.

“Based on this evidence, we suggest that digit ratio can predict adult penile size,” the researchers, led by Dr. Tae Beom Kim of Gachon University in Incheon, Korea, wrote.

Previous studies have linked the so-called 2D:4D ratio of finger length with exposure to the sex hormones estrogen and testosterone in the womb. So it’s plausible that the same exposure may affect penis length.

Higher testosterone levels during fetal development are associated with a lower 2D:4D ratio, while higher estrogen levels are connected with a higher one. Most men have index fingers that are shorter (low ratio) than their ring fingers, while most women’s index fingers are the same size or longer (high ratio) than their ring fingers. Research has shown, however, that lesbians and female-to-male transgendered people are more likely to have more “male” ratios.

Finger-length ratios have been linked previously with a variety of other characteristics: in both males and females, lower ratios are associated with better athletic performance. In men, one study found that a lower ratio was connected with more success at high-frequency financial trading, while another study associated it with better performance on medical school entrance exams; women were not included in those studies.

Men with lower 2D:4D ratios were also more likely to have more “masculine” features, to have more symmetrical faces, and to be considered attractive by women, according to another study.

Yet other research links low 2D:4D ratios with higher rates of alcohol consumption and alcoholism itself. Some data suggest that a more “female” finger-length ratio in men is associated with increased risk for oral cancer but reduced risk for prostate cancer.

In both boys and girls, lower and more “male” 2D:4D ratios have also been repeatedly connected with autism; interestingly, a recent study also found that female-to-male transgendered people are more likely to have autistic traits.

MORE: Guys Are Right: Size Matters, When It Comes to Fertility

Of course, it remains to be seen whether the correlation between penis size and 2D:4D ratio holds true in non-Korean men or in Korean men who aren’t having some type of urological surgery.

But if so, digit ratio could be good for more than just a pick-up line at a bar. An easy and non-invasive measurement, it could give doctors a quick way to gauge how much testosterone their patients were exposed to in the womb, wrote Dr. Denise Brooks McQuade of Skidmore College in Saratoga Springs, N.Y., in an editorial accompanying the study.

The study was published in the Asian Journal of Andrology.

Maia Szalavitz is a health writer at TIME.com. Find her on Twitter at @maiasz. You can also continue the discussion on TIME Healthland’s Facebook page and on Twitter at @TIMEHealthland.

Read more: http://healthland.time.com/2011/07/06/penis-size-it-may-be-written-in-the-length-of-his-fingers/?iid=hl-article-mostpop1#ixzz1oFAyrVIy

Struggling with sex when you’re overweight

Struggling with sex when you’re overweight

2012-02-16

On the CBS sitcom “Mike & Molly,” the title characters meet at an Overeaters Anonymous support group and embark on a romantic relationship.

It’s an uncommon look at intimacy between plus-sized partners, played mainly for laughs. But with obesity rates skyrocketing in this country, sex when one or both partners is heavy is becoming a very real issue.

Nearly 34% of American adults are obese, according to the CDC, and many more are overweight. It’s not surprising that people who are carrying extra pounds may find themselves grappling with the effects on their sex lives.

Being overweight or obese can put a damper on things in the bedroom, as my clients Tom and Laura discovered. Married for 12 years, they had always enjoyed a satisfying sex life – until Laura began to gain weight. At first Tom was understanding: He knew that Laura’s self-esteem had taken a hit and he didn’t want to add to that.

Continue reading Struggling with sex when you’re overweight

Eczema tied to higher impotence risk

Eczema tied to higher impotence risk

2012-02-14

Men who have the allergic skin condition eczema may have a higher risk of erectile dysfunction than other men, a new study finds.

The study, of nearly 4,000 Taiwanese men with ED, hints at a connection between eczema and impotence.

And the researchers suggest that doctors “be more attentive to sexual complaints” from men with eczema — known medically as atopic dermatitis.

But an allergy expert not involved in the study said that while the findings are “interesting,” there are too many limitations to know whether eczema actually raises the risk of ED.

Continue reading Eczema tied to higher impotence risk