Category Archives: blog-home

How Implicit Bias Affects the Health of Black Gay Men

How Implicit Bias Affects the Health of Black Gay Men

2016-10-19

7 Things All Couples Should Know About His And Her Health

7 Things All Couples Should Know About His And Her Health

2016-10-18

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Men and women are different in many ways, (Mars and Venus, anyone?) and there are heaps of scientific evidence to support this idea.

And obviously, each sex faces varying physiological and psychological challenges due to physical, hormonal and behavioral differences. While both sexes face some health problems at equally high rates, there are certain health conditions that affect one sex more than the other.

Men and women’s health-related differences extend to their sexual health as well. To get a better understanding of how men and women differ in their overall and sexual health, here are seven things you should know about each sex:

1. Women have a stronger immune system.

Some animal and human studies suggest that females from many species have a better advantage in the maintenance of health and, as a result, live longer.

For instance, a study out of the University of Sheffield by Jens Rolff suggests it makes sense that female biology invests in immunity, as women need to be healthy to carry offspring, while male biology is more about investing in mating success.


2. Depression and osteoporosis are not female diseases.

Although more women are diagnosed with both conditions than men, this discrepancy might be the result of men feeling less inclined to seek treatment for either condition.

This argument is especially true for depression, as women are culturally conditioned to talk about their feelings, while men are often encouraged to avoid such discussions.


3. Both men and women are at risk of heart attacks.

Women typically develop cardiovascular disease seven to 10 years later than men, mainly because estrogen protects against cardiovascular diseases, such as atherosclerosis. Nevertheless, after menopause, women reach the same risk rates for developing heart disease that men do.

While most research focused on cardiovascular disease being a risk factor for erectile dysfunction, there is growing evidence suggesting the same mechanism might be one of the major causes of female sexual dysfunction as well.


4. Women are more likely to have sexual problems.

According to an article from Current Psychiatry Reports, sexual dysfunction affects approximately 43 percent of women and 31 percent of men. Despite this fact, however, studies and treatments of sexual problems tend to focus more on men than on women.

The sexual problems that affect women are quite different from those affecting men, not only due to anatomical differences between the sexes, but probably due to psychological and cultural factors as well.


5. Men can develop pelvic floor problems as well.

Women of childbearing age are frequently recommended to practice Kegels to keep their pelvic floor muscles strong. This is not only beneficial for female sexual functioning, but for proper bladder control and bowel habits as well.

However, not many are aware of the benefits of Kegel exercises for men. The Journal of Sexual Medicine suggested proper sexual response and arousal, in both men and women, greatly depends on the functioning of this particular group of muscles.


6. Depression causes a decrease in sex drive for both sexes.

Depression is considered an “invisible” disease, with a rising number of people being diagnosed with the disorder. One of the many symptoms of depression is a diminished sex drive, alongside poor sexual functioning.

While women tend to experience symptoms like vaginal dryness, men may develop erectile dysfunction as a result of depression. To make matters even worse, antidepressants don’t help with sexual functioning. Rather, they only seem to contribute to a loss of sex drive in both men and women.


7. Male menopause might be a real thing.

We’re all aware of female menopause. Low serum estrogen levels are easy to test, and the cessation of menstruation is an obvious sign a woman is at the end of her reproductive age.

On the other hand, men can father children well into old age, and there’s no obvious sign a man is going through what is described as “male menopause” or even “andropause.”

Nevertheless, older men tend to experience symptoms similar to menopause and a decline in testosterone levels that researchers believe may be to blame for sexual dysfunction, loss of muscle, increasing fatigue, mental fog and other symptoms some men experience in mid-life.

5 Ways Exercise Can Improve Sexual Health, From Regulating Hormones To Improving Blood Flow

5 Ways Exercise Can Improve Sexual Health, From Regulating Hormones To Improving Blood Flow

Exercises have many health benefits. There are different types of exercises, each one with its own set of benefits. Studies have shown that those who frequently exercise have better stamina and level of satisfaction, which can lead to a boost in your sexual performance. There are various exercises that can boost your stamina, libido, and satisfaction.

People tend to be more sexually desireable the longer they can last in bed. Moreover, exercise could lead have a better libido, stamina, and better communication. Having a great sex life can improve your overall health, and great sex life can only be achieved when the couple finds each other hot in bed. In this article, you will learn about exercises, and how each one can make you more desireable in bed.

It can be embarrassing if you’re unable to satisfy your partner. One of the major reasons behind men not being able to satisfy their partners is because of erectile dysfunction . The statistics show that around 18 million Americans are suffering from erectile dysfunction. This should not worry you though because there are many solutions for solving your problem, and one of them is regular exercises. How can exercises make you hotter in bed? Let’s see how.

5 WAYS EXERCISE CAN IMPROVE YOUR SEX LIFE:

1. REGULATES HORMONE LEVELS

Regular exercises can boost your sex life. Both of you will start to release more endorphins, which enhances feelings of happiness . The level of fat carried by our body is directly related to the level of endorphins in the body. The more fat that’s released, the more endorphins and vice verse. The higher level of endorphins will in crease the sexual arousal in both men and women. Exercises will greatly help in maintaining your hormone level. More sexual arousal means being more active in bed.

2. GUARANTEED ORGASM

Sex is a physical activity, and it requires a lot of strength and stamina. Exercises will greatly increase your strength, stamina, and endurance. With more strength and stamina, it will open the possibility of experimenting with various sex positions. When you try various sex positions requiring a great level of physical control, it will lead to a guaranteed orgasm. All the varied sex positions and guaranteed orgasm will make you more desireable in bed.

3. ENHANCES BLOOD FLOW  

Exercises will enhance your blood pumping throughout your body. The blood circulation will be enhanced throughout your body, and it also includes in between of your legs. With more blood flow in genitals of women, it will lead to more vasocongestion. It will increase sensitivity, leading to more orgasm. In the case of a male, the increment in blood flow will lead to a stronger erection.

4. TIGHTER MUSCLES

Exercises will tighten your muscles, including pubococcygeus muscles (PC muscles). Your pelvic floor contraction (related with orgasm) will increase with a tighter PC muscle. It is better for you to try some pelvic floor exercises. There are many varieties of pelvic floor exercises to try. You can mix it with other exercises for a better sexual performance.

5. CONFIDENCE BOOST

Regular exercises will enhance your physical and mental health. Many studies have proven the positive impact of exercises on your health. Moreover, people doing regular exercises will have a positive attitude and less stress. When you have a positive attitude and less stress, you will explore more about your body, and you will have good communication with your partner too. It will also lead to increased orgasm, deeper bonding, and increased sex drive. This will make you feel more desireable because of greater sexual capacity.

CONCLUSION

Better sex life will improve your quality of life. After marriage, both partners want to have a great marital life. To have a great marital life, it is critical to have a better sex life. Having a bad sex life means always living in dissatisfaction. It will not only lead to unsatisfied married life, but it will also lead to mental torture. The study shows that better relationship leads to better health as well. For a better relationship, you need to have a good sex life.

Now that you know how exercises can help in making you hotter in bed, you should not waste any time, and you should st art making a plan for a workout. Your partner will obviously find you hotter in bed if you work hard and get involved in regular exercises, and it will eventually lead to a better sex life.

BIO

David Gomes (@davidgomes14), a Health and Wellness expert by profession. He lives in Oakland, CA. He loves to write on a variety of topics such as joint health, weight loss, beauty and skin care for blogs and online publications. He also loves latest technology, gadgets. Connect with him on Linkedin , Google+ andPinterest.

Girls’ Progress equals Goals’ Progress:

Girls’ Progress equals Goals’ Progress:

2016-10-13

The theme of this year’s International Day of the Girl is based on the 17 Sustainable Development Goals and central to the achievement of all of these goals is gender equity. Building equitable gender norms will enable girls to grow and develop to their full potential. This is an important goal in itself and also contributes to achieving other goals.

BUSIA, UGANDA  - JULY 24: A member of the Youth Foundation for Christ Ministries during an outreach to sensitize young women from the Baroma school about family planning and sex education. This activity was on a soccer pitch near their school. July 24, 2014 in Busia, Uganda. (Photo by Jonathan Torgovnik/Reportage by Getty Images)..
BUSIA, UGANDA – JULY 24: A member of the Youth Foundation for Christ Ministries during an outreach to sensitize young women from the Baroma school about family planning and sex education. This activity was on a soccer pitch near their school. July 24, 2014 in Busia, Uganda. (Photo by Jonathan Torgovnik/Reportage by Getty Images)..

Too often, however, early adolescence is a period of increased expectation for girls and boys to adhere to stereotypical norms and it is these norms that help to perpetuate gender inequality. A recent review of existing research reveals that young adolescents commonly express stereotypical or inequitable gender attitudes. These inequitable attitudes contribute to harmful behaviours and related poor sexual and reproductive health outcomes. For girls, this can mean early pregnancy and complications associated with it, unsafe abortion, infection with STIs including HIV and/or other diseases.

Girls are also more likely than boys to be married as children and to experience forced sexual initiation. Almost 1 in 3 adolescent girls (15–19 years) report lifetime physical and/or sexual violence by an intimate partner. With puberty, freedom of movement may be more restricted for girls, especially in low- and middle-income countries, as they are expected to take on more household chores, marry and/or stay away from boys due to adult concerns about their developing bodies and emerging sexuality. Gender inequalities also have other adverse socioeconomic consequences that prevent girls from fulfilling their potential including denying them opportunities to attend and complete their schooling, and reduced opportunities to access employment when they grow older.

Changing the stereotypes

Early adolescence is a unique opportunity to address gender attitudes before they become a factor that will have negative influences throughout adolescence and into adulthood. Promoting equitable gender attitudes requires empowering adolescent girls to challenge harmful norms, building their self-esteem and agency. The greatest influence shaping these deeply entrenched stereotypical norms appears to come from interpersonal influences such as family and peers. Other influences such as media are less clear, though there is some evidence that schools may play a role in reinforcing stereotypes. Programmes thus need to move beyond a focus on individuals to target their interpersonal relationships and wider social environments.

Empowering girls to reach their full potential is an important goal and a valid end in itself. Girls have the right to grow and develop to their full potential. When girls are empowered, it benefits all. Empowered girls grow into empowered women who can care better for themselves and their families, increase their earning potential, serve as active and equal citizens and change agents, and spur economic growth for communities and nations.

Let’s talk about sex, baby

Let’s talk about sex, baby

Megan Hazuga-

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“If you can’t talk about sex, then you shouldn’t be having sex,” stated Markie Twist, program director of the Sex Therapy Certificate graduate program, and coordinator of the Sex Speak Sessions that have been taking place on campus this year.

The Sex Speak Sessions are an attempt to get people talking about sex, relationships, gender and anything that falls under that umbrella. They are held every other Tuesday from 2-7 p.m. and can be found in various places around campus and in the community. They are also planning an event in the Twin Cities, as well as potentially reaching out to the University of Wisconsin–Eau Claire campus. These sessions are totally anonymous and are lead by recent graduates of the Sex Therapy certification program, as well as Markie herself.

“It is not therapy, nor is it even sex education; it is simply an anonymous conversation with people that have questions about sex or gender,” Markie said.

These sessions arrived on campus at the beginning of the semester, and so far, Twist said, they have seen only positive results. With conversations lasting anywhere from 15 to 45 minutes, they are already confident on the impact these sessions are having. Primarily, these sessions have the ability to guide those with deeper questions to the proper help they may need. Though Twist did not intend this when she began holding these events, she is amazed by the results.

“We’ve had several referrals [to therapy services on campus] already.” Twist said. “It is a pathway to people getting help about their struggles with gender or sexuality questions or their relationships, through a service that they may not have known about otherwise.”

Twist explained that the inspiration to begin these sessions came from Francisco Ramirez, who was named a Rosenfield scholar in sexual and reproductive health by the Columbia University’s Mailman School of Public Health. For 20 years, Ramirez has dedicated his career to responding to the sexual health and public health needs of communities worldwide. He’s a public speaker as well, and in 2008 he took to the streets of New York City with a sign that read #FreeSexAdvice, and began offering exactly that.

Twist said that when she attended one of Ramirez’s speaking events at a sexuality conference in Guelf, Ontario, Canada, Ramirez began speaking about how everybody deserves to have access to this type of education. Twist immediately wanted to bring these ideas to our community.

Twist has discovered that many people received a sex education that is fear-based, if they received any at all. She believes these sessions are an important way to start a conversation that can keep people safe.

“It’s a really good foot in the door—the most basic thing is talking to a stranger anonymously. So that opens the door to talking to your friends, family, to other people,” said Sydney Edman, a senior in the Human Development and Sexuality program, as well as a teaching assistant for Markie Twist’s Lifespan Sexuality class.

“It also helps stop the spread of misinformation,” Edman continued, “People come in with questions, and we can direct them to the correct information.”

The Sex Speak Sessions are just the start of becoming a more sexually-healthy society, and Twist says they will likely be around the area for years to come, with the hopes of expanding to communities across the country.

Nepal’s Telephone Counselors Offer Life-Saving Sexual Health Advice

Nepal’s Telephone Counselors Offer Life-Saving Sexual Health Advice

2016-10-10

Nepalese Hindu devotees walk across a temporary bridge over the Shali River on the outskirts of Kathmandu on January  24, 2016. Hundreds of married and unmarried women in the Himalayan nation have started a month-long fast in the hope of a prosperous life and conjugal happiness. AFP PHOTO/Prakash MATHEMA / AFP PHOTO / PRAKASH MATHEMA
Nepalese Hindu devotees walk across a temporary bridge over the Shali River on the outskirts of Kathmandu on January 24, 2016. Hundreds of married and unmarried women in the Himalayan nation have started a month-long fast in the hope of a prosperous life and conjugal happiness. AFP PHOTO/Prakash MATHEMA / AFP PHOTO / PRAKASH MATHEMA

As counselors for the Meri Saathi helpline, midwife Hima Mishra and her team field hundreds of calls a day from people with questions about sex, pregnancy and abortion, helping to shed light on reproductive health rights in Nepal.

 

Hima Mishra’s office in Kathmandu is a tiny room staffed with seven smiling women wearing headphones. It may look like a small operation, but the women receive up to 150 calls a day from men and women across Nepal.

“Morning to night, our voices are the same. We are always happy,” says Mishra, who runs the team. “You would think that we are very stressed and tired, but we’re not.”

In 2011, Marie Stopes International (MSI) launched a free helpline number called Meri Saathi, which translates to “My Friend,” to provide counseling on a range of issues from safe abortion, contraception, masturbation, penis size, menstruation and safe sex.

In mountainous Nepal, where it can take a woman days to get to the nearest primary healthcare center and where premarital sex is taboo, the call center is a lifeline for thousands of Nepalis who have little or no access to accurate information.

Although abortion is legal in Nepal during the first 12 weeks of pregnancy or up until 18 weeks in cases such as rape and incest, deaths from unsafe abortion still account for more than 5 percent of recorded maternal deaths.

Since abortion was legalized in 2002, more than 800,000 womenhave received safe abortion services from over 500 certified clinics, but challenges remain, including a lack of skills among health workers and overcrowding at referral hospitals, according to the latest Department of Health Services annual report.

Another major barrier to women seeking safe abortion services is that many don’t know it’s legal. Only 38 percent of women in Nepal are aware of the law on abortion, according to the 2011 Nepal Demographic and Health Survey, and only one in two know where to access services.

While the government last year pledged to make abortion services free across the country, it hasn’t happened yet. Women who don’t go through organizations like MSI have to pay the equivalent of $10, making safe abortion unaffordable for those living in rural areas.

Mishra has been working at the Meri Saathi call center since it launched, and has watched its popularity grow from 150 calls a month to 150 a day. The team is planning to move to a bigger work space, add more staff members and extend the hours the hotline is open to keep up with the number of requests.

“We’re overloaded with calls,” she says. “We don’t want to miss people.”

The main purpose of the hotline is to educate people about their sexual health and reproductive rights. The center also offers counseling via live chat on its website and through Facebook and Twitter, and the Meri Saathi workers follow up on existing clients whenever they can.

At the moment, the team gets more calls from adolescent boys than women or girls, asking questions about safe-sex practices, how to manage their sexual desires and the bodily changes they are experiencing.

“I tell them that masturbation doesn’t harm their body and they should keep busy, study, do sports and be creative. I give them tips for what is best for their future,” Mishra says.

For young women who call, the primary concerns are sexual propositions outside of marriage, contraception, menstruation pain and access to safe abortions. Stories of women inserting iron bars or using other potentially fatal methods to try to give themselves an abortion are all too common.

Determined to stop that happening, the Meri Saathi team callers to an MSI clinic or, if they live too far away from one, to a listed organization, healthcare center or government hospital that provides safe abortions

But women are often either too scared to tell their husbands, or their husbands insist on keeping the baby, particularly if they are hoping for a boy. “Often women don’t want another baby and they beg me not to listen to their husband and ask if they can get an abortion alone,” Mishra says. “Husbands call the center and ask about their wife’s abortion. I tell them [family planning] is also a father’s responsibility.”
Some of the calls haunt the counselors long after they hang up the phone – like the time a 22-year-old man asked for Mishra’s advice because he was having a sexual relationship with his mother. But then there are the times when the counselors see how one phone call can change a life for the better. One of Mishra’s happiest memories is when she was able to prevent a 14-year-old girl from western Nepal from getting married after speaking with her mother.

For Mishra, the biggest reward comes from guiding young women safely through some of the most difficult times in their lives. “I feel so proud that I have saved so many youths from unsafe sex and so many women from unsafe abortions,” she says.

“To fight HIV effectively we must insist upon the removal of anti-LGBT legislation globally”

“To fight HIV effectively we must insist upon the removal of anti-LGBT legislation globally”

2016-10-06

Criminalisation, stigma and HIV transmission

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Anti-gay legislation, globally, is leading to higher rates of transmission for HIV. The countries with the highest populations of HIV positive people all criminalise gay men, or have a recent history of doing so. 77 countries still criminalise being gay. These countries do not allow LGBT people to openly express their identities, thereby preventing the development of LGBT rights movements and exacerbating HIV transmission rates.

Many LGBT people living with HIV face a dual stigma, that of being LGBT and that of being HIV positive. There is a clear link between criminalisation, stigma and HIV transmission. As we move out of the European Union, we must ensure that global LGBT equality remains a priority for UK legislators.

In Africa being gay remains illegal in 36 out of 54 countries. Africa has the highest prevalence of HIV in the world. Gay men in Africa are twice as likely to be HIV positive as their straight counterparts. Most African countries have European colonial era anti-LGBT legislation. Criminalisation entrenches homophobia. The African LGBT community is largely underground. Underground communities are harder to reach and are less informed about HIV or safe sex. LGBT people are less likely to use HIV testing services and are prohibited from accessing antiviral medication. Health professionals often discriminate against LGBT people and there are few government-led LGBT inclusive HIV initiatives.

Uganda and Senegal are among the worst on anti-LGBT legislation and its implementation. In Uganda the legislative situation is actually getting worse for LGBT people. In 2014, the Ugandan government attempted to bring in the Anti-Homosexuality Act, which was only overturned on a technicality. In Uganda, LGBT people are reluctant to discuss their sexual identities with health workers who, technically, are obligated to report them to the authorities for same-sex practices.

Senegal has had a number of arrests and convictions for LGBT activity in recent years. In Senegal homosexuality is punishable by up to five years in prison and it is also one of the few jurisdictions to have criminalised female homosexuality. Last year, in one raid, seven men were arrested and sentenced to six months in prison. Such raids are thankfully uncommon, and their sentencing caused international outrage, but this case is indicative of the hostile atmosphere LGBT people have to deal with in Senegal. Amongst the items found in their possession were condoms. The Senegalese government was effectively punishing these men for practising safe sex, the condoms evidence of their criminality. Ugandan and Senegalese health workers are reluctant to engage with LGBT people, as they may be perceived as encouraging illegal activity.

In Mozambique, unlike in Uganda and Senegal, the existing colonial era anti-LGBT legislation, a legacy of Portuguese colonialism, has been repealed. Although legally there has been an improvement in their status, LGBT people face continued discrimination from government organisations. The government remains reluctant to encourage LGBT inclusive training for sexual health workers, or even register the country’s one LGBT organisation, which is called Lambda. Some LGBT people have been refused treatment for sexually transmitted infections, while trans people have been made to change their clothing before health workers will treat them.

In Caribbean countries where same-sex relationships are criminalised, the rate of incidence for HIV is a one in four, while in Caribbean countries where there is no anti-gay legislation it is one in 15. Approximately thirty per cent of Jamaican men who have sex with men are HIV positive, compared to a rate of 1.6 % in the general population. In Jamaica homophobia is rife. Anti-LGBT legislation creates the perception that violence against LGBT people may be tolerated. LGBT people cannot discuss their sexual identities. Men who are diagnosed as HIV positive are often “accused” of being gay. Here, the dual stigma, of being gay and that of being HIV positive, is at its most apparent. LGBT people who are HIV positive are the most likely to be victimised and face violence.

The LGBT community have been at the forefront of the fight against HIV in the UK. Over the last thirty years, we have pulled together at a time of crisis to save our neighbours, friends and lovers. We ensured our community knew about the HIV virus. We cared for those living with HIV. We confronted the stigma associated with HIV. It was the LGBT rights movement in the UK and the USA which first responded in an empathetic and effective way to the HIV epidemic. Anti-LGBT legislation prevents LGBT people coming together to confront HIV.

To fight HIV effectively we must insist upon the removal of anti-LGBT legislation globally. Where criminalisation exists and homophobia has been institutionalised, access to HIV services is difficult and violence against LGBT people is rife. Moving out of the EU, we must not be shy of using our position as the world’s fifth largest economy to demand concessions for LGBT people. The UK can pride itself on being one of the world’s most tolerant countries on LGBT issues and we should not be afraid of advancing the rights of LGBT people globally. We should not allow our work to promote LGBT rights globally to be diminished by leaving the EU, but instead embrace our freedom to promote LGBT rights more assiduously. Let us embrace this opportunity to increase our global influence on LGBT rights. We are a core part of the global LGBT rights movement.

Follow Phillip on Twitter @philipcbaldwin

Joking aside, it’s time to turn on to men’s health

Joking aside, it’s time to turn on to men’s health

2016-09-26

How to be a Man: Ireland was the first country in the world to have a national men’s health policy. It’s a shame about the lack of resources . . .

Michelle McDonagh

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How to be a Man is a series exploring masculinity and the challenges men face in Ireland today. If you would like to add your voice to this series, email howtobeaman@irishtimes.com

There’s a classic joke that goes: “Men die, on average, five years younger than women do. Why? Because they want to.” Or have you heard the one about why women live longer than men? “Because they are not married to women.”

However, the health of men in Ireland is really nothing to joke about as Irish men have higher death rates than women at all ages, and for all leading causes of death. Men are more likely than women to engage in risky behaviours such as speeding, drink driving, not wearing seat belts, and misuse of alcohol and drugs, and are more likely to be overweight or obese. And men in Ireland are four times more likely to die of suicide than women.

Finian Murray, HSE Men’s Health Development Officer, and amateur comedian, says men tend to see health as “women’s business”. Consequently, they take few preventive health measures and are less willing to seek medical help. Late presentation to health services by men leads to a large number of problems becoming untreatable.

Humour

“From my years of working in the area of promoting men’s health, I have found that one way of getting men to take heed of health messages is through the use of humour. This idea is not something new. Numerous studies in the field of advertising have shown that humour is the most effective tool for enhancing recall of advertisements. The advertising industry has long recognised the value of using humour to sell products and this knowledge is beginning to become recognised in education too.”

Murray has been using humour in his presentations and training courses for many years now and has found that when men are laughing, they are paying attention and picking up the health messages. He is involved in rolling out Engage, the national men’s health training programme, developed by Men’s Health Forum Ireland (MHFI), to address the current deficits in gender-sensitive service provision for men. He is also involved with the MHFI’s programme on Connecting with Young Men which engages young men in mental health and wellbeing, and is funded by the HSE’s National Office for Suicide Prevention.

“Health messages don’t have to be boring. Instead of telling people to eat less, I sometimes use the slogan, ‘little pickers wear bigger knickers’. Alternatively, to encourage young men to perform a testicular self-examination I often use the strap line: ‘Keep your eye on the ball’.”

Noel Richardson, lecturer and director of the Centre for Men’s Health atCarlow Institute of Technology (Carlow IT), says it has been well documented across different jurisdictions that men go to the doctor a lot less than women, even allowing for reproductive health visits.

“A paper in the British Medical Journal in 2013 found that there was a reluctance in the first instance on the part of men to present to the GP compared with women but, interestingly enough, once men and women were diagnosed with certain chronic conditions like diabetes, there was no difference in self-care afterwards.”

Richardson, who is the principal author of the first ever national policy on men’s health which was published in Ireland in 2009, says his own research into masculinity and health reveals a hierarchy of threats to masculinity.

“If a man is physically injured or has an illness, it’s less of a challenge to present to the doctor than if the problem has to do with mental health or sexual health or a ‘private matter’ like a prostate problem. Men feel shy, awkward or inhibited talking about these matters. Some men have to reach a certain threshold or severity of illness before they will go to the doctor; they don’t want to be seen as a hypochondriac or wasting the doctor’s time.”

Richardson notes that during the onset of fatherhood and at other critical transitions in a man’s life, such as settling down in a permanent relationship or marriage, there tends to be a new awareness that their health cannot be taken for granted. The man now views his most significant role to be a good father or partner and is a lot less likely to behave in risky behaviour such as drink driving, he says.

Time to speak out

While things are certainly changing for the better, Richardson says it is important that more men speak out and encourage other men not just to go to their GP, but to look after their health.

“When I started out doing research into masculinity and health 20 years ago, it was very rare for men to speak out about their health on radio, TV or in print, but there have been a lot of examples of this in recent times, particularly in mental health. We have made great strides and men are more supportive of eachother. The Dublin footballer Shane Carthy spoke out very eloquently last year about his depression and how his team mates rowed in behind him and showed him great solidarity and support in a very traditional, masculine sporting background.”

Colin Fowler, director of operations at Men’s Health Forum Ireland (MHFI), says there is a lot happening in the area of men’s health in Ireland, including programmes like Men on the Move, the Mojo training programme, Farmers Have Hearts (led by the Irish Heart Foundation), Irish Men’s Sheds Association and Ballybough Men’s Health Project in inner city Dublin.

He says that as men get older, many gradually move away from sport and physical activity, and programmes like Men on the Move encourage middle-aged men all over the country, not only to engage in physical activity and lose weight, but to interact socially with other men, which benefits their mental and emotional health.

“Very few people are aware that Ireland was the first country in the world to have a national men’s health policy which is a spectacular achievement. We have been invited to speak in places like Canada, Brazil and Australia, which has since developed its own policy, about our policy. Unfortunately, it was launched at the same time as the recession hit, and while it is a great document with great ambitions, the resources were not there to fund many of the recommendations.”

Mutual Masturbation: Another Tool for Your Sex Toy Toolbox

Mutual Masturbation: Another Tool for Your Sex Toy Toolbox

2016-09-21

For one thing, mutual masturbation can be an unexpected and novel way to shake up your usual bedroom routine. Any time you introduce something new into your sex play, it can add a frisson of excitement to whatever you’re doing.

mutual-masturbation-another-tool-for-your-sex-toy-toolbox

The element of being “on display” can also be incredibly sexy, especially if you have either voyeuristic or exhibitionistic tendencies. If the signs of your partner’s arousal—his moans, his sighs, the swelling of his penis—are a turn-on for you, why not encourage him to masturbate in front of you? If you enjoy the feel of your partner’s eyes on you, you may find that masturbating in front of him heightens your experience.

Masturbating in front of your partner can also help you become more comfortable with your own masturbation habits. As you do this, you may even discover a new technique!

Mutual masturbation can also ensure you have an orgasm with your partner. Showing your partner how you pleasure yourself can help you teach your partner what you like. It’s the sexiest game of “show not tell” you can imagine.

Okay. You’ve Sold Me. How Can I Proceed in a Non-Awkward Way?

If you’re new to mutual masturbation, try sending your partner this article and asking if they’d be interested in giving it a whirl. As fellow Good in Bed-er Kate McCombs, M.P.H. has previously written, sometimes the best way to approach a conversation like this is to say, “Hey, I read this thing and thought it seemed interesting. You game?”

Or try initiating mutual masturbation as the two of you are already starting to get intimate. Touch your partner with your hands, and then pull away and say, “why don’t you take over for a minute?” You can then continue to switch back and forth to help each other get more comfortable.

Another option is to say something like, “you know what would be really sexy? I’d love to watch you touch yourself.” Or to turn it around, ask your partner, “do you want to watch me while I touch myself? I want to show you what I like to do when I’m thinking about you.”

If you’re feeling shy, you can keep the lights off, or perhaps even light a single candle. You won’t be able to see everything, but you’ll still know what the other person is doing.

And if you’re not ready to display the specific masturbation techniques you use when you’re all alone, you can keep it simple by using slow, sensual strokes. This can be a great way to ease into things.

9 Ways to Take Your Mutual Masturbation to the Next Level

Once you get comfortable touching yourselves in front of each other, there are a ton of easy ways to switch it up:

  • Have just one partner masturbate at a time, while the other watches. This ups the voyeuristic factor.
  • Have one partner be the “boss.” For example, perhaps one partner can only touch themselves—or bring themselves to orgasm—when given explicit permission, and then must stop masturbating when their partner tells them to.
  • Tag team each other’s bodies. If your partner is a woman, try fingering her internally while she strokes her clitoris. If your partner is a man, you can caress his balls or knead his perineum while he strokes his shaft.
  • Try role-playing by pretending to “catch” your partner in the act. Set up the scene beforehand so you both know the plan. While the one who is masturbating will know what’s coming, the thought that someone can walk in at any time can be a huge turn-on.
  • Or call your partner into the bedroom and surprise them by being on the bed, masturbating.
  • Switch up the timing. Try masturbating together before or after whatever activities tend to be your “main event” as a couple. Or try taking breaks from the main event to spend a few minutes masturbating.
  • Have masturbation be the main event.
  • Watch erotic movies or read erotica out loud to each other while you masturbate.
  • Bring toys into the picture. There are a number of great options out there whether you’re a man or a woman.

Because there are so many ways to experiment with mutual masturbation, it holds so much potential for being a source of constant novelty and excitement in the bedroom. So what are you waiting for? Get those fingers going!

What She’s Actually Thinking About During Sex

What She’s Actually Thinking About During Sex

The most prevalent thought for both men and women during sex is a fairly obvious one: “How am I doing?” But this question leads to very different thought processes for the sexes. “While you’re worrying about how long you’ll be able to last, she’s worrying that things are taking too long on her end,” says Emily Morse, a sex and relationship expert and host of the top downloaded podcast Sex with Emily. You can thank the orgasm gap: While the average man reaches climax in about five to seven minutes, a woman, on average, requires at least 20 minutes of direct stimulation. But there’s more to it than that. Here, taken from the experts, are some of the more prevalent thoughts you could expect her to be having.

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Many women worry that they’re taking too long to reach orgasm and/or that their partner will orgasm before they do. “Women sometimes take longer to get aroused and therefore take longer to orgasm, particularly if they aren’t receiving enough persistent, direct clitoral stimulation — otherwise known as the orgasm gap. Promescent, an OTC spray, is one way men can extend their latency time and prolong intercourse, particularly if they have a partner who generally takes longer to reach orgasm than they do (which is most men),” says Ian Kerner a psychotherapist and sexuality counselor.

Women fantasize more than men do during sex, and many don’t fantasize about the act they’re engaging in or the person they’re having sex with. “This isn’t because they’re bored or disinterested — rather, it helps to quiet the parts of the brain that are associated with anxiety and outside stressors. It’s been shown that women, unlike men, need to turn off parts of their brain in order for the rest of their body to turn on, and fantasizing — even if it’s not about you — is a great way to do that,” says Dr. Kerner.

Flaws with her own body. 

Women in general suffer from an epidemic of body-image dissatisfaction. Too many women feel as though their bodies are flawed. During sex, rather than focusing on what they are feeling, they worry about what our partner thinks of our body: Does s/he see this wiggle here, this stretch mark there, the way my boobs flop over there? “We try to hide our body (only having sex in the dark, keeping clothes on during sex, only getting undressed under the covers), sometimes we avoid having sex in positions that could be unflattering, etc. All of this compromises a woman’s pleasure because when our heads are filled with worries and anxieties, we aren’t present in the current moment. When we are busy worrying about how to position the sheets in a way that will flatter our belly or hide our thighs, we aren’t attuned to the pleasurable physical sensations of our partner’s touch, and this can interfere with our ability to derive satisfaction from the sexual experience,” says Alexis Conason, Psy.D., Licensed Psychologist (www.drconason.com).

Your scorecard.

“During intercourse women often think about their man’s performance, what he’s doing that feels good and what doesn’t,” says Dr. Fran Walfish, Beverly Hills child, parenting, and relationship psychotherapist, author, The Self-Aware Parent, and co-star of Sex Box on WE tv. Frequently, women (and men) fantasize about other people and various behaviors that titillate and excite their fire. “Although I am a proponent of open, honest, direct communication, I strongly urge people not to tell their partners their personal bedroom fantasies during intercourse. All it does is fuel jealousy, rivalry, competition, and low self-esteem in your partner, creating a wedge between you and your beloved.”

When it’s going to end. 

“This is especially true when they weren’t really into it in the first place, but agreed to engage, hoping that they would get in the mood,” says Rhonda Milrad, a relationship therapist, and founder and CEO of Relationup.